Milady
by sarah.shilo
Summary: What if Scarlett agreed to Rhett's request on the road to Tara? A fanfic of what I imagined in the past 30 years, of a woman even more rebellious than our original Scarlett, but perhaps less agonized with what is expected of her that she does not meet.
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own thecharacters. Margaret Mitchel does. This is my own fanfic...**

"You don't want to change your mind about what I said last month? There's nothing like danger and death to give an added fillip. Be patriotic, Scarlett. Think how you would be sending a soldier to his death with beautiful memories."

He was kissing her now and his mustache tickled her mouth, kissing her with slow, hot lips that were so leisurely as though he had the whole night before him. Charles had never kissed her like this. Never had the kisses of the Tarleton and Calvert boys  
made her go hot and cold and shaky like this. He bent her body backward and his lips traveled down her throat to where the cameo fastened her basque.

"Sweet," he whispered. "Sweet."

She saw the wagon dimly in the dark and heard the treble piping of Wade's voice.

"Muvver! Wade fwightened!"

Into her swaying, darkened mind, cold sanity came back with a rush and she remembered what she had forgotten for the moment — that she was frightened too, and Rhett was leaving her, leaving her. The thought of the reason charged at her furious mind –  
he is going to die. Just like Charles, the Monroes, Alex and the Tarleton tweens. Something broke.

She pulled back. For a second she shut her eyes. Than with realization and powers she never knew she had she drew a hard breath and with a voice not her own she reached the wagon to her child

"Honey, why you are the bravest little boy that every lived in Georgia. Lay down and hold Aunt Melly's hand. There, there brave child. We shall soon be on our way home - to Tara."

The toddler lay down

She turned to Rhett who was observing her with attentiveness she had only now noticed –

"no", she looked him in the eye and whispered determined "no"

He pulled back.

"Rhett, I shall never be a mistress, not even to you. Not even if you are damned to die in a ditch in Virginia or burn in Atlanta because of your folly notions of honor and pride. Oh, how I hate the Cause! I don't want to be patriotic! It's so silly.  
It killed all my friends. And now you? I hate you for leaving me here at this darkness. Oh, I know, my words mean nothing because you are a cad. You say you love me, and yet you will go, like they all did, and …"

Having said that she reached his face with her hands and held his face and held her tongue as if reaching for a word she had missed. She reached for his lips and kissed them without being invited to do so. Unlike his kisses that were manifestation of  
self-constraint, her were frantic.

His hands were roaming in her hair as she pulled back again and with a slow motion she pulled him farther away.

"I shall never be a mistress Rhett Butler. Never utter that word in my presence again. Have me as your equal."

Scarlett hardly remembered the following.

In the months to come all she would recall was a blur of heat and tenderness so very different to the setting of hard ground and the thunders of bombs coming from the glowing Atlanta.

When they stood for a second she thought he'd laugh or say something horrid that would mortify her. He took her palm and pressed it to his cheek, muttering words that her agonized ears could not grasp.

He turned away and walked back toward the wagon. She saw him stand beside it, heard him speak and his voice was courteous and respectful as it always was when he spoke to Melanie.

"Mrs. Wilkes?"

Prissy's frightened voice made answer from the wagon.

"Gawdlmighty, Cap'n Butler! Miss Melly done fainted away back yonder."

"She's not dead? Is she breathing?"

"Yassuh, she breathin'."

"Then she's probably better off as she is. If she were conscious, I doubt if she could live through all the pain. Take good care of her, Prissy. Here's a shinplaster for you. Try not to be a bigger fool than you are."

"Yassuh. Thankee suh."

"Good-by, Scarlett."

She swallowed hard

"Captain Butler" -

Pulling her shoulders and her chin up as she served him with her palm. She saw the surprise spread in his eyes for a brink of a second.

He took it for the only farewell kiss that she would give -

"Milady"

There was no mock in his voice as he uttered his farewell salute.

She watched his big figure becoming smaller until she could not envision them in the darkness –

"Be safe ".

 **Let me know what you think...**


	2. Chapter 2

_The bright glare of morning sunlight streaming through the trees overhead awakened Scarlett. For a moment, stiffened by the cramped position in which she had slept, she could not remember where she was. The sun blinded her, the hard boards of the wagon under her were harsh against her body, and a heavy weight lay across her legs. She tried to sit up and discovered that the weight was Wade who lay sleeping with his head pillowed on her knees. Melanie's bare feet were almost in her face and, under the wagon seat, Prissy was curled up like a black cat with the small baby wedged in between her and Wade._

 _Then she remembered everything. She popped up to a sitting position and looked hastily all around. Thank God, no Yankees in sight! Their hiding place had not been discovered in the night. It all came back to her now, the nightmare journey after Rhett's footsteps died away, the endless night, the black road full of ruts and boulders along which they jolted, the deep gullies on either side into which the wagon slipped, the fear-crazed strength with which she and Prissy had pushed the wheels out of the gullies. She recalled with a shudder how often she had driven the unwilling horse into fields and woods when she heard soldiers approaching, not knowing if they were friends or foes — recalled, too, her anguish lest a cough, a sneeze or Wade's hiccoughing might betray them to the marching men._

But they were not seen, and the horse, being not so much of an animal, as Rhett foresaw, had refused to move from a certain point forcing her to unsaddle him and take that rest at the break of dawn. She jumped off and started saddling the animal –

"Prissy, help me out" she said in a low voice, dreading to be heard.

Prissy opened her frightened eyes and quick enough reached for the animal's neck.

"You saddle like one of the stallion boys" admired Scarlett inattentively;

"Momma she'd kills me every time she done find me next to the hose's place in old man Wilkse's farm. So would Miss India. It's no good for a house negro girl to know this. But I juss can't help love'em."

"Surely Miss India did not hit you" uttered Scarlett with clear shock.

"Oh, why yes, Miss Scarlett, with a whip an' awll. Thas why I'm so happy to leave with Mama to Tara, de only plantation where no one gets licken in the County. I done think that was why Momma would hit me, so that Miss Wilkes wouldn't start with her whip and cane and shouting an all".

Scarlett listened and thought how different for that girl, to be deprived of something her father encouraged her. To be physically brutalized on account of her fondness of horses. The pale eyes of India Wilkes came to her mind. Oh, the malice in that girl, her peer. The self-righteousness that she hated. Yes, she is happy that she stole Stu Tarleton from her for a year or so. Suit her fine.

"I never liked India" muttered Scarlett "I just didn't figure she was so mean with her darkies."

"Oh, Miss Scarlett, don't tell Momma I done said something, it aint proper to discuss other mansions affairs even if it is your new mansion now, Ma Momma won't be pleases" uttered the girl with sudden self-awareness.

"Not to worry Prissy, not to worry".

The baby was on Prissy's lap. He was weeping in a loud voice that was in total contrast to his weak silent mother.

"Prissy – why you always could calm Wade down" Scarlett said with despair. They had to be quiet. It was imperative that no solider, Yankee or Confederate would hear them.

"Wade aint never beens hungry as dis bot Miss" retorted Prissy with equal despair.

To no other resort, Scarlett unbuttoned her dress and tried to sooth him with her breast.

"Do you have any, Maam?" asked Prissy

"I am not sure. It's been a few months since Wade ceased with breast feeding, we must hurry though, however calmer he is now it won't last long".

The girl and the young woman sighed as the baby seemed to relax.

An hour or so later to mid noon, Melanie awoke – "My baby?"

"There Melly, we are close to Tara, he is as strong as a young pony, and his appetite is fine, my, just wait till Ma can hold him. It is just across this road and then past the river" answered Scarlett

"Appetite?" She asked with wonder

"Oh well, I fed him, I suppose I don't have much left, but in the first few days they hardly suck, and I still haven't dried completely" embarrassed from doing what is expected for one's own child only, or for a darkie wet nurse, she lowered her voice and mumbled the last few words to no avail.

"I knew that you would have him as your own. No sister could have been kinder and so selfless my dear" the kind words soothed Scarlett's unease.

All of a sudden, a loud voice came from the bushes at the side of the road. Startled she stopped and aimed with the pistol Rhett gave her. Seconds afterwards the air resolved from her lunges. It was a cow.

"Prissy, that is exactly what we need. Come, tie her with your petticoat or something to the wagon" Said Scarlett with an awe at the animal.

"I ain't got no petticoat Miss Scarlett, and I is scared of cows." Answered the girl.

"Oh, they are less wild than horses, come, I will give you my petticoat."

With despair and fury, she tore her petticoat, the last piece of garment associated with vanity she had once took pride of.

The sun started setting in the west as the road curves finally reached the highest hill and there it stood, The white house with its six columns.

But in the house she found nothing but mourn. Her mother dead, her sisters sick of typhoid, and a father struck by grief.

Scarlett's thoughts were as incoherent as a storm. She asked herself if God was punishing her for last night, and it was the first time that she let herself think of her yielding to Rhett's desire, but as the thought passed in her head she dismissed it thinking 'he is probably going to die as well if he had not died just yet, no, if God is playing a trick at me it is probably because of something else' the realization that her saint mother is dead mad her think that whatever grand plan was in Gods agenda she had no way of understanding or even caring. She felt as if the world has shuttered into a million pieces. If it was wrong for her to give herself to a man she had not wed she did not care. Nothing was right. All her friends dead in battle. Atlanta burning down, Melanie nearly dying at birth and no doctor to come, herself watching amputations of soldiers, smelling death and watching naked bodies of men so bruised that one could hardly imagine them as the South's Glorious Knights, and at the end of it fleeing from the burning city, Rhett, telling her he loved her and desired her just as he left to fight a battle he knew was lost even before it had begun. All those were far more wrong than her complying to him last night.

No, it was not her fault. If any, it was someone else's fault inflicting so much pain. Falling in love with Ashly just to lose him to another woman he chose to marry. Loving Rhett, the night he left her. Loving? No, it surely wasn't love to be precise. It must have been something else. But the sound of the bombs that still echoed in her mind and the picture of that big impish man she had just given herself to had left her there out in the road with this an unbearable growing pain.

'So be it, whether I love you or not, you never asked for my hand, and you left to this Godforsaken war. No, I shall not dwell on it now. It will drive me insane if I do. I shall think of it tomorrow.'

Dilcey took the little baby and assured that she can nurse him with her new born son. As she turned with Melanie's child Scarlett thanked her and added "Prissy was a great help on the road, she is a good girl Dilcey"

Dilcey's eyes brightened, "I thanked you once for convincing your father to buy her, I thank you again Miss. "

Her breasts were swollen and sore, her feet bruised and her head pounding. Dilcey saw her discomfort and handed her a wet cloth with some cabbage leaves pressed in it –"There, no need for you to be feeding him, that'l dry'em allra foe ya".

She pressed the cloth, not bothering to hide her bosom from any prying eyes, Dilcey did not move her gaze and Mammy turned her eyes with evident embarrassment muttering words that Scarlett did not bother hearing but "propriety and Yankees" she heard. 'I won't think about it now', she thought, though suddenly anger rose from beneath the depths of her fatigue, what was she supposed to do? Let the baby starve? No, she has done what she had to do. Rhett's face came to mind again. His grin, his warm hands over her body, roaming, caressing, 'that is something that may be a much better a topic for propriety discussions' she thought and her forehead eased much to her surprise. No she had no remorse in her for _that._ It was hers to give. Mother was dead, but Melanie was alive. And Rhett? She shoved that thought far and quickly away. She cannot thing of that now. She drank the old whiskey at her father's counter.

 _Then she discovered she was in her own room, on her own bed, faint moonlight pricking the darkness, and Mammy and Dilcey were undressing her. The torturing stays no longer pinched her waist and she could breathe deeply and quietly to the bottom of her lungs and her abdomen. She felt her stockings being stripped gently from her and heard Mammy murmuring indistinguishable comforting sounds as she bathed her blistered feet. How cool the water was, how good to lie here in softness, like a child. She sighed and relaxed and after a time which might have been a year or a second, she was alone and the room was brighter as the rays of the moon streamed in across the bed._

 _She did not know she was drunk, drunk with fatigue and whisky. She only knew she had left her tired body and floated somewhere above it where there was no pain and weariness and her brain saw things with an inhuman clarity._

 _She was seeing things with new eyes for, somewhere along the long road to Tara, she had left her girlhood behind her. She was no longer plastic clay, yielding imprint to each new experience. The clay had hardened, some time in this indeterminate day which had lasted a thousand years. Tonight was the last time she would ever be ministered to as a child. She was a woman now and youth was gone._

 **Thank you for the wonderful reviews. Really encouraging, any volunteer for beta reading is invited... For those who wonder if Scarlett got pregnant, the answer is definite no. I like to think that man are capable of not impregnating and that it would totally ruin the possibility for Scarlett to be the free spirited person I plan for her to be...**


	3. Chapter 3

She was at the fields. The hot sun was blazing upon her arms and hands. Small drops of blood tainted the cotton she was picking; another sting had entered the side of her finger. She sucked it briefly and kept the paste she was trying to impose on her sisters and servants to no avail.

Mammy's large figure was wobbling towards them 'People is a comin', ma lamb, we needs to feed'em'

"As if we have enough for us, Mammy – Oh! Don't look at me like that. You know I'm right." She lowered her eyes to the evident look of reproach she was given. "Well, do what you see fit! You seem to know better. It doesn't matter if we all starve at the end of the month, does it? We will do our Southern hosting as required"

"They is probably sick and with lice, I is a put dem to the small shacks left behind the house" said Mammy, she turned around and then looked back at Scarlett "You knows I don't know better den yous, it would just break Miss Ellen's heart to know we didn't do that, lamb."

Scarlett did not answer. She was too bitter to be kind to her old nanny though she loved her dearly, remorse for her lack of emotion came shortly after Mammy's figure faded away. Yet she has put up with Mammy's reluctance to work the fields like her, not allowing any one to . Yes, she was as bitter as wormwood.

Scarlett kept working the whole day, to avoid her guests, and kept quiet about Suellen's rush to wash and change.

And so, the house became a road inn to all the soldiers passing through the county on their way back home.

Days passed by.

The thought of Rhett coming to her passed her mind daily, hourly in fact. Each passenger was a reminder to the tall dark man who had left her. At times she thought that he would never come, alive or dead, she has disgraced herself and he must despise her. But she so wanted him to come. 'How wrong was I?He said he was going to die. He practically begged for me to comply. Well if he thinks low of me for that, damn him and damn his soul. Oh! I do wish he would come.'

Both Melanie and she would look at the road looking for something. Both kept quite regarding the reason of the quest in their eyes.

Only once since their return had she spoken of Rhett's abandonment in the midst of the night to enlist. She spoke with such low voice of him, that Melanie did not question any more.

She had asked herself how it would be to meet him after their last encounter. Would he bother coming? How would he treat her? 'Well, it's not as if he did not beg me to give him what I did' she thought resentfully as she couldn't avoid blushing at the thought. 'No, if he were less of a cad he would have been here by now to ask my hand. But what if he did indeed? She couldn't leave Tara, her father; even her sisters and servants needed her. 'It is of little relevance' she thought as reminding herself that he had not come nor had he asked her hand.

One evening Melanie and Scarlett were sitting in the veranda at the dark sipping sour tea made of leaves– "Oh dear, where shall we get enough food" wondered Scarlett.

"How about asking our guests to help with fishing tents and cotton picking? That would surely help us to…" Started Melanie when Scarlett started crying

"Oh, dear! I did not mean to upset you! You surely cannot host everyone as though you are the owner of a prosperous plantation my dear" Melanie argued hesitantly.

Scarlett leaned on her sister-in-law and wept till she had drained all the tears from her. She caught her breath and said "I am not crying about that. I wish I had thought of it earlier, the bunch that came today will probably be leaving tomorrow before they can be any real help here. I wish we had done so weeks ago. The fences could be mended, the shacks and the fields. No, I was thinking who would be, whether –" but the words that had been in her mind for some time did not part from her lips.

Melanie caressed her with no clue as to what caused this sudden demonstration of emotions, but it was evident – the load Scarlett was carrying was unbearable.

"I admire you, you do know that, don't you?" said Melanie "You have so much strength, so much kindness, and none of the fuss that ladies depict when acting kindly. You care for all. Nor me, nor my son, nor none of Tara's folks would have survived this year if it wasn't for you. Even the neighbors lean on our vegetables. Not once had our children been truly hungry, though God knows how many a nights you had gone to sleep without a bite of bread in your stomach. And, sweetheart you still are the prettiest woman I had ever met. I remember Charlie telling me that you are like the shiniest star in the whole sky. He was so fortunate to marry you. Even now, as thin as you are, as tired, dearest, you are more beautiful than any other person I had ever met. There, there, cry all you need. Heaven knows that a well full of tear does not reach the sorrows you have had to put up with."

She ceased crying as Careen came out to them, sniffing and rubbing her puffy eyes "Scarlett, there is another one, another soldier."

"Well, let Mammy tend to him, your sister needs to rest." said Melanie with a harsh tone.

"He says he has come for Scarlett"

"Indeed?" – Scarlett too tired to think stood up, she took her sister-in-law's arm as they walked to the front of the house from behind, just before reaching the front Scarlett thought – "Thank Goodness she is with me".

Than her eyes accumulated to the darkness saw a figure too well known from the back. Melanie paused, squeezing Scarlett's palm then letting go– "Go. He has come for you", and she drifted to the back of the house quietly.

She froze. Sudden awareness to her thin figure, puffed eyes and swollen face came to mind. She swallowed. He has come. No matter what he thought of her actions, no matter what had gone through his mind, he was here, at her door-step inquiring for her. Yes, it was her home. The house she saved from burning. Her red Tara. No matter how bad she looked, here he was, her soldier.

Surprising him from behind with a light touch of both her hands and clear voice that a hint of gaiety invaded to it she said

"My dear Captain Butler; My very dear Captain Butler!"

 **Please keep writing reviews, they are very helpful. Any beta volunteers?**


	4. Chapter 4

The man standing there had sunken cheeks and a thick beard so different from the groomed trimmed mustache. But his eyes left room for no mistake. He was there and he was smiling to the depth of his dark eyes. His hands reached her waist and held her a bit far away.

It was a minute, a second or an hour when she finally whispered "Do stop gazing at me like that".

But he kept his firm grasp and finally said "How I dreamt of this moment. Let me linger a bit longer. Given that I can only hold you at arm's length, for fear you may catch some of the lice that keep me company these lovely times."

"Damn the lice" she leaned forward with some determination and kissed his hairy cheek.

She took his hand and started toward the house "I shall ask Pork to tend to you. He has always been the best valet in Clayton County.

Come, you must be famished."

Rhett stopped her and with a questioning look his hand wiped some

of the tracks left from her earlier tears –

"Melly read me a sad poem." She lied through her teeth, as no other excuse came to her mind fast enough. At the silly evident lie, he raised his eyebrow questionably but refrained from further talk.

"You have only been to Twelve Oaks, now haven't you?" She chatted rapidly with evident embarrassment – "I can't say our house was ever comparable to that mansion, yet it is still here, whereas …" She paused.

Having entered the house, she realized that awkwardly enough she had no place for him to wait. The parlor was out of the question.

She paused when light steps came from across the corridor.

"Welcome to Tara, Captain Butler. We are so glad you came. I had been yearning to thank the man who rescued us from the burning of Atlanta. Come, the parlor will be fine." Melanie delicately pointed to the room, and added "I will notify your sisters that we have a special guest my dear."

Scarlett, half amazed took off to call Pork. Hesitantly she knocked on his and Dilcey's door. Dilcey opened the door to a rather embarrassed Scarlett who stuttered that a special guest had arrived in need of bathing and perhaps some grooming. A friend. Pork rose from the armchair beside the crib, and smiled a wide smile "Not to worry, Mammy shall not lay a rusty hand on your friend".

"Should I serve him some food?" asked Dilcey.

"No, dear God, just tell me what I can warm up, and I'll do it myself."

"Well, there ain't much left of anything. You could fix him with some ham and cheese and corn bread. And Ma'am, there is some pea soup left for you. You haven't eaten enough today, Miss!" Dilcey knowingly directed the young mistress to the provisions Scarlett was reluctant to use for any of the guests and awaited her reaction.

"Fine. Ham and cheese it is".

A hint of a smile crept to Dilcey's face – "Oh, and Miss, do eat your food. You are way too thin."

"Of course, Dilcey".

Scarlett rushed to the kitchen, happy to have a hiding place from any eyes that may might encumber her thoughts. She was thrilled. He was alive and he was here. He had come straight from the war, ungroomed, to her.

She sliced the large hunk of cheese, far too generously, she thought, and put the soup on to boil. She was humming when she heard the door open.

He came to the room dressed with some of Gerald's older garments, too short and overly sized in the waist. His hair was wet, and he was barefoot.

"How elegant you are." She smiled at him.

He bowed an exaggerated bow as a response to the tease.

"Actually, I am quite happy with the attire I am wearing. No fleas or lice to entertain me during the hours of the night, mind you." He sat, and smiled honestly "I haven't had a decent bath in God knows how long." His eyes raked her face and body. She felt his gaze, as always, as if he knew how she looked without her shimmy. 'Oh, but he does now, doesn't he?" She thought, and at that, she blushed to her ears, and lowered her eyes.

Rhett reached her and lift her chin to face him – "Now, what is bothering you Scarlett? And do forgive me if I don't think it's a poem. I don't believe that Sherman has enough imagination or ability to enlighten, or say I engender an interest I hadn't noticed you had possessed before leaving Atlanta."

"What on earth do you mean?" She lost the flirtatious mood she was attempting, understanding that he was mocking her reference to poetry.

"You have been crying and quite a lot. What is wrong, dear?"

She breathed a heavy sigh, dropped her shoulders and thought 'What

doesn't bother me?' while smiling trying to force a smile "Why nothing! Please,

Rhett, do tell me what brings you to Clayton County?" she forced made herself to flutter her eyelashes at him.

"You are a poor liar, Scarlett. Come, feed me as you evidently plan to do, and do eat with me. From the looks of it, you need to eat as much as I do or even more." Without bothering to answer her question he sat at the table, turning his wide back to her.

She sulked at his reluctance to play the gallant role of southerner visitor she had bestowed on him and with much clatter of plates she served the food she had warmed, giving herself the pea soup.

His eyes were inquisitive as he saw the two different plates.

He took a piece of ham and cheese in onto his fork and smiled as he brought it to her mouth, " I guess I am a varmint for trying to tempt you with this fine food."

She blushed at the insinuation yet took the offer. Suddenly she remembered former daydreams from the past months she had dwelled on – she had no reason to blush about. She had given him what he had asked for. She was at her home, with the food of her labor, and he had been cared for by her dear loyal Pork. Pork, who had stolen food for their sake. The only person she could count on to sooth her father's pain.

She raised her head and with a genuine smile and responded by offering him a sip of the green soup – "I do believe that pea soup would chill any temptation in the air".

He smiled at the gesture and accepted her offering while holding her wrist and taking the spoon at in his mouth. The spoon fell to the table as he brushed her hand with his lips.

"I shall starve to death if you do not mind your manners, and as you had have been unkind enough as to mention my slim figure, I would greatly appreciate it if you'll let me eat in peace". Though harsh the words did not match the tone or her smiling eyes.

"I don't believe you. You are not one to pass on a challenge when the one appears at your door."

"Like a bearded soldier with lice?"

"You wound me, my dear!" but he chuckled as he offered her another bite of ham from his fork.

The candle was burning out as they finished the food.

"Come. You will sleep in my mother's study". She said.

To his surprise, she did not pause as she took him by the hand and directed him to the study.

"Mrs. O'Hara won't mind?" he sat on the worn sofa of the large room stretching his long legs.

She took a long breath and with a low voice "Mother died a day before we arrived home. And that is just the beginning of the troubles I seem to have crashed into." She shook her head, as if trying to rid herself of something "Wait, I shall bring you some blankets, it gets cooler at toward dawn." She started to leave the room, and he stood, much faster than she could react, his arm blocking the way out.

"Talk to me, Scarlett." His tone was demanding yet soft.

"What is there to talk about?" she exclaimed desperately - "I came home, Mother was dead, I never got to say goodbye; Pork and I buried her. Melly was half dead, she had no… Well, she has not recovered fully; my two sisters were sick with the typhoid, and are still useless most of the time, but that is plain laziness; and Pa… Well, he is not himself. At times he is so sad, repeating 'Katie Scarlett, your mother is gone' at other times, he acts, well, he thinks Mother is still here, and he waits for her so patiently. Wade is so scared all the time and he is so thin. Why, when the Yankees came here I thought for a moment the fright had killed him. Oh! Rhett, do let me bring you a blanket, it's too hard to talk. Life is this endless nightmare." She choked raising her palms at him in a childish pleading gesture.

He touched the streaks of dried tears on her face as he blinked, keeping to his silence silent-

"Yes, I cried before you came. But I hate weakness."

He took her pleading hands, and studied them intently. She blushed, fully aware of the blisters and cuts on her hands from the physical work she had been doing. She pulled away.

"And my hands are in ruins" she whispered lowering her eyes

"They are lovely."

He took her palms and opened them gently, caressing them with his thumbs.

"Liar" – She whispered, yet her feeling improved heart lightened. She did not continue, instead she rested her cheek to on his chest and closed her eyes. A forgotten sensation of warmth spread in her limbs.

"So unladylike for you to use such a harsh word and risk wound my soft heart. Though I do admit that I am far from being a gentleman." he answered.

"Nor do you possess a soft heart, Rhett. Well, don't expect me to say I am no lady, because I won't. I am a lady. A grand lady in fact! " she laughed, tilting her head at him.

There. She put it out on the open. The last words to her on their parting were out there. She looked at him with a daring look.

His gaze was unreadable.

"You look like a grizzly bear, Rhett Butler!"

Having said that she left him toward the upper floor, racing two stairs at a time.

In her room she took one of her blankets and a pillow. She watched Wade sleeping on the small bed by hers, and straightened the covers.

She came downstairs slowly, with no light to guide her way.

In the study she found him sound asleep on the sofa. She covered him with the blanket and whispered "Good night. Don't let the bugs bite" as she planted a small kiss on his fore head.

 _Yes, some may have expected more of this meeting. But having been in the army I know that when returning, there are only three things in mind: food, shower and a bed. Couldn't have been much different 150 years ago… Huge thanks to my beta editor – R. without you it would have been so much less fluent. You are wonderful! And thank you all for the reviews. To those who wrote that Scarlett is too nice – well, I always thought that she would have been nicer if someone had told her how wonderful she was. And she was!_


	5. Chapter 5

Dawn barely broke when her eyes opened. In her nightgown and a shawl, she rushed barefoot down to the study, not sure if it had all been true. The squeak of the door as she opened and closed it behind her made his eyes open. Though the room was barely lit she could almost sense a warm smile from him. Awkwardness flushed her. What on earth had possessed her to come down before putting her dress on, or at least a wrapper? she wondered.

"Come, Scarlett, sit by me. I must have dozed off yesterday."

She shoved aside the thoughts of propriety and her thin attire and sat next to him. The proximity was strange. Other than her father, she had never been close enough to a man to catch his scent in the early hours. She leaned on his shoulder, trembling for a second.

"Put your feet here" He covered her with the blanket and pulled her closer "I thought I saw a river last night as I was coming in. Is there a river here? "

"Sure, the Flint river. We used to fish and swim there as girls. Once Pa held me in the middle of the river and let go of me to make me paddle on my own." She laughed at the memory.

"-Did it work"?

"Mother of Mercy, no, at least not at first. I nearly drowned and Mother was so mad at him. Sue ran off to tell her. Though it did not stop him from doing it again. till I swam like a fish. Or a frog, depends depending on who you ask! though Enough about me, why you haven't told me anything about your adventures?"

"Does it really interest you, at this early hour of the day? " He asked, lifting her chin up to face him.

"Would you be surprised if I told you that in the early hours of the day I think of you? At night I am too tired and nerved nervous to think. But when I wake up, at least until Wade gets in bed with me, I have some time to be. That is when I think of you. I did not know if you worried about whether you were wounded, alive or dead. So much had happened between us, and well, how could I not think of you?"

"Were you sorry for what happened?" He asked this question in a low voice not lowering keeping his eyes from on her.

"What on earth for?" She pondered for a second and realization flushed her, "I guess I ought to be. But no. No, I dare say I wasn't sorry. And even if I burn in hell for this, I am not sorry. Should I be?" She asked that with a hint of a smile that surprised them both.

His arms went around her, but she pulled away "Don't. I should go dress. The whole house will be up soon. Pa, Melly, Wade and of course, Mammy. And I have to go down to the fields, as there are still some rows that we haven't finished picking. A poor crop, but something to base next year on."

With a blast of courage, she added, just before shutting the door behind her "I hope you were not too sorry ".

On At the breakfast table she found her siblings, Melanie without but no Rhett. Melanie lifted her pale face towards herScarlett with a genuine smile – " Did you have a good night's sleep my dear? The dear Captain has just gone outside to talk to our visitors and suggest they should help out some before leaving. I do believe that with the help of these men you and your sisters can stay inside for once."

Silently, Scarlett sat beside near the head of the table beside the place once reserved for her mother, with silence. Melanie tactfully asked nothing and with tactfulness that Scarlett was grateful that Melanie chatted to Suellen and Carreen. Melanie told the girls about Rhett and his blockade running days, and of his visits to Aunt Pittypat's house on Peachtree Street. Her sisters were thrilled when they heard of the Atlanta bazaar. Melanie skipped the details of the timing or the scandal that Scarlett's dance with Rhett had caused.

"Did he really bid for you with one hundred and fifty dollars in gold to dance with you?" asked Careen in a timid voice.

"I most certainly did, and would have raised it even farther paid more if anyone had tried to outbid me. It must have been my dreadful reputation that deterred anyone from approaching your sister that day, at least when I bid for her dances."

His quiet entrance seemed to have startled all but Scarlett who laughed at his remark and smiled widely at him.

"You do run on, Rhett! It might also have had to do something with the fact that I was still wearing black and in mourning for dear Charlie. I dare say my consent to the dance did cause some ill-talk of me later on."

Her two sisters looked amazed at the ease that Scarlett discussed misbehavior, and even more so when Melanie uttered with evident disapproval "Old peahens! What do they know? Come, Captain Butler, do sit next to Scarlett and join us for breakfast. I am afraid I got a little carried away with these stories."

All three sisters raised their heads when Rhett sat at Ellen O'Hara's sit seat. Scarlett shifted in her seat, but the sight of the tall tanned bearded man in her mother's seat did not offend her emotions as she may have expected it to. In fact, it was almost soothing to see his wide shoulders at the head of the table. She smiled at her younger sister with reassurance and put a hand on his Rhett's arm as she asked, "May I pour you a glass cup of tea? I am afraid that this herbal tea is the best that we can come up with these days."

After breakfast, past Suellen and Careen decided to go calling on their neighbors, at taking the rare opportunity of no field work for the day. Melanie took Wade and Beau to play at the back yard. The two Rhett and Scarlett were left in the dining room.

"May I kiss you?" he asked

"On the cheek, like a good friend" She answered with a sweet smile.

"Is that what I am?" He looked at her quizzically.

"I don't know. What are you, Rhett?"

"Indeed", she thought, "what was he? In all these months of expectation she simply wished for him to be safe, and when the soldiers started passing through Tara on their way home, she was looking for him. Each passing by stranger was another disappointment. What was he then? But he kept to his silence silent. She raised her eyes with a determined look and as he uttered no word, she spoke with some firmness in her tone -

"To be frank, Rhett, I haven't quite figured out, yet, what you are, so I asked you. You once told me that you appreciated my telling you what I think and what I feel. You are not my husband, nor am I your mistress. I guess you being alive and here, and me being grateful for both, is all I know for now."

"What do you want me to be?"

"Want? Wanting is a luxury that breaks one's heart, these days."

"Is that so? No, I find it hard to believe that the gorgeous girl who I saw in a shawl this morning has lost her spirit. I will leave your cheek be, at the moment and await a better opportunity to kiss you, that is when you have gathered enough courage to want it. And no, Scarlett, I was not sorry."

Was he angry? She couldn't quite understand his reaction. Has she not told him that she was thrilled at his mere existence?

"Thank Goodness for that!" She exclaimed "I would have truly been disappointed if the man who told me of the merits of courage as an alternate for a reputation had developed social standards. Especially after I followed your lead and chose to disregard them completely. But before you offend question my courage, and Heaven knows that the last months have tested it, has been tried often enough, why don't you tell me what am I to you? And bear in mind that both my father and mammy may step in here at any time."

His laughter was soft.

"Your Irish temper has not lost its charm, my love. And I dare say my love, for that is what you were and still are, or have you forgotten?"

 **A Million thanks to R for her great editing. Pls. R &R A bit stuck on the next chapter**


	6. Chapter 6

It was noon when they reached the curve of the river. She had not spoken much all morning. She simply took his offered arm and showed him the plantation. The plough's handle had been broken by one of the men. He saw her face as it hardened at the news, noticed the fear in Suellen's eyes, when she told her of the problem. But to her sister's great surprise she uttered dismissingly, with some effort for that, "We will take it to the smith in Jonesboro tomorrow. Don't think about it now, we will handle this tomorrow."

"Your sister seems to fear you, Scarlett. How come Why?"

"She is a mean brat. Always trying to avoid helping with work" She did not mean to utter such harsh words at in his presence, but then she realized, as she had in the past, this hardness is part of who she is now. She is no longer a girl, or a belle. He probably would not have called her 'his love' had he known the depth of change in her, she thought with a tingle of sorrow. Yet, she decided to be honest about it.

"Things have changed, Rhett. I have changed. Nothing is easy anymore. Suellen was sick, and I was working almost single-handedly in the fields. Planting vegetables, milking the cow. Dear God, I had to catch that cow with Prissy on the way home. Prissy wouldn't go near it. When Suellen got better, she kept acting like I owed her something. Always complaining and crying. She was capable of hard work, but she did very little. Then again, we never were the best of friends. She loved telling on me to Mother. Before the war, it seems like following me around, stealing my dresses and telling Ma that she saw me flirting with boys was her favorite hobby. That was before the war. And now, she complains so often that I can't help but be cross with her. She is not the only one though. I've been short with Pork and Mammy as well. The only one I don't seem to hurt or bother with anything I do is Melanie. She supports whatever I do."

"So, you have become closer to Mrs. Wilkes?"

The long journey she had made with her sister-in-law at her side, was beyond verbal.

"Melanie loves me. She doesn't judge me, Rhett. Not like my sisters do. Oh, Careen is sweet, but she is too dreamy to really notice what goes on around Tara." Her voice was not sad. "Sue and I had a terrible argument when she found out that I told Mammy that she could work at home and not in the fields, like us. She kept saying that the Negros should do that work…" Scarlett did not add that the end of the argument resulted in her slapping her sister Suellen hard on her face and yelling at her that Mammy is was worth ten Suellens.

Scarlett seemed disturbed at the thought so she spoke slowly at Rhett's silence.

Finally he spoke, "I have never liked my brother either. My younger sister is sweet. But he's a complete bore. Southern to the core with dignity and honor. He would run and tell my father that I was playing with the field-hand's children, and get me disciplined time after time."

She laughed. "Why on earth would your parents mind that you were playing with the slave children? Why, I always played with Big Sam and the neighborhood boys when we were little."

"No girls?"

"No. They had nothing interesting to offer."

He laughed "Nothing? Aren't you being overly judgmental?"

"No, girls were always bickering or playing with dolls and having tea parties. I never liked that. Mammy and Mother were scandalized by me, well, at least until I started mastering the art of attracting beaus." She laughed again when she saw the smirk spread in his face.

"Don't you sneer at me like that, or I won't tell you anything more. You know how I love dancing, and of course being courted. Well, most of the girls hated me for that."

"I can hardly blame them. From the looks of it at Twelve-Oaks, you used to gather all the young men around yourself with a blink of those dark, long eyelashes."

"You don't have to be mean about it. Just because you never fell for that act, you shouldn't be so harsh. And as for the other girls, what could I do if the men liked my company better than any other's? Besides, at the Twelve-Oaks barbeque I did have a friend, though you may not remember her - Cathleen Calvert. She was the person I was with when I first saw you, from down the stairs at Twelve-Oaks."

He remembered every detail of that encounter, yet, he decided to please her saying "I remember you. All the rest is a haze."

She smiled brightly at his reply and paused, her face relaxed. She pressed his palm, but then let go, blushing at the show of affection.

"You are as conceited as ever, my dear lady! Though you shone like the northern star in a moonless sky, I do remember the fair young lady next to you. She wore a blue dress if I recall."

"You cad! Must you ruin a nice thing, once you've said it?!"

"Surely amnesia cannot be regarded as nice, my dear. Yet, I will please your vanity by saying that your light outshone all others."

They reached the part of the road, down next to the river bottom. She leaned her head to against a wide tree with some low thick branches.

"I love this tree here. I would climb it as fast as any other boy in the county. I'd race Brent and Stu to the top. Perhaps they let me win." At The thought of her dead friends made her swallow hard.

"Once I fell down on my belly on the side of the river-bank instead of in the water out of this very tree. God, I couldn't breathe! My nose bled. I was a mess. Stu and Brent took turns to bringing me their handkerchiefs with water from the river, till I stood up and raced them home. My, we had a good time! Mammy had to put ice on my nose for hours after that and I kept yelling at her because my nose was so sore."

"I can imagine you grunting with ice on your face" he smiled at her.

She looked into his eyes for long moments.

"So, Mrs. Hamilton, how changed are you?"

Her eyebrows rose at the sound of her married name.

"Don't you Mrs. Hamilton me, Rhett, or I shall start calling you Mr. Butler, a name, if I recall correctly makes you feel the presence of your ever-loving father."

"Touché, Scarlett, but you are not answering my question. How changed are you?"

Her heart beat fast as she looked at his darkened eyes face, and against her every instinct she answered truthfully "More than I want for you, or for myself, for that matter, to know, my darling."

He did not miss the term of endearment directed at him, nor did he miss the fact that she was asking him to let her veil parts that she found foul in herself.

He took her face with both hands and observed her at length.

She couldn't bare bear his gaze. Pictures of her outbursts on the past year, of nightmares, of the encounter with the Yankee deserter and the Yankee soldiers that nearly burned Tara went through her head. No. None of these were parts that she wanted to share. Not with him, not even with herself.

"Stop it, Rhett. Please. I beg of you."

"What should I stop?"

"Stop staring at me like that. You make me feel…"

He held her close to him with a firm grip "What is it that I make you feel?"

She tried to move her head away with the confusion that this his proximity produced, but he took her lips against his own and kissed her leisurely, now with his beard rubbing against her face. The kiss brought her back to a place and a time that no longer existed, or so she thought. The first soft kisses deepened. He smiled at her with his eyes and His lips opened her own, tasting her mouth with his tongue. Her fingers, with a mind of their own explored the soft hair above his nape.

She opened her eyes and saw his smile.

"You haven't changed all that much. At least not where it counts."

She blushed, but before she could think of a proper thing to say, he whispered "Don't. Weren't you the one who told me to treat you as my equal? I am doing exactly that. I want to kiss you, and you want to be kissed. There is no use in acting as if it were any different."

"Are we equals, Rhett? I wish to God we are were."

He did not understand her at that instant for the touch of her hands and lips distracted every other thought. And She caressed his cheek-bones and the line of his beard, with her hands and lips, her eyes wide open, yet hazy and soft.

She thought of the consequences of what she was willingly doing. She hadn't given in at Rough and Ready, but on in broad day light it was impossible not to. She knew she was a woman, and that her behavior was beyond immodest. Regardless of her sacrifices for her family, neither they nor society would stand by her if she gave herself to a man to whom she was not married. She wondered how Rhett would see her, would she be regarded as respectable or would he see her as one of those cheap women like that red-haired Watling woman?

Was it that she wanted him to think she had not changed?

She didn't know. Surely She wanted to believe she was his equal. She looked in his eyes realizing that during the months of his absence the thoughts of his possible death haunted her daily, more than her mother's death, more than the hunger and her father's lack of sanity. The tenderness of what had happened between them was not the only picture in her mind each dawn when she dwelled on thoughts. She had missed his presence.

'I won't let consequences bother me' she thought defiantly.

"Boy, I am I glad that you are alive, Rhett. Don't ever do something as foolish as leaving me in the middle of a night again."

"Say that you missed me" he said, holding her face in his hand

"What on earth gave you that impression?" She laughed carelessly as she stood on her toes to kiss his lips.

She was turning away from him but he grabbed her arm causing her to sway a bit. She kept laughing, and though it was a true laughter, she couldn't help feeling surprised by the sound.

"You are not telling me what you are thinking of, my dear."

"No, I am not. But I dare say that I spoke much more than I planned to."

"Is that so? Well, I think I have my ways to persuade you to talk."

"You are conceited" She smiled and said these words softly yielding to his caresses, with her own.

She clung to his lips, to his neck, to his chest, her tongue just as brazen as his. She kept kissing him as he leisurely touched the curves of her backside. She gasped, taking a deep breath in between kisses, his hands were untying her bodice, touching her breasts recklessly.

"Talk to me" he kept whispering as he stroked the white skin exposed at her front.

She felt the waves and a rush of sensations flood her entire being as a sudden ray of sunshine dazzled and startled her.

She moved backwards - "Stop, Rhett. Not here. " She was breathing heavily, her hair mussed and her eyes dancing with a gleam that she wouldn't recognize as her own.

He looked at her with brightness in his eyes, "Where would you want me, my dear?"

"Inside" Her face turned crimson as the double meaning of the wording came to her recognition. Nevertheless, she did not say anything more, only gazed at him with her dazzling emerald eyes.

Oh, she should be ashamed, her mind was screaming with indignation. But she stood and took him by his hand, and leading him to a cabin by the woods that used to serve in the past as a sleeping place during the hunting season.

She paced hurriedly, determined, pushing aside thoughts of hell and heaven that tried to penetrate her mind, and as soon as they were behind four walls she let herself lose all restraint. She leaned into him and kissed him shamelessly, aiding him as he untied and removed her dress.

To her amazement, just as she thought that he was about to have her, he stopped, raising his body from hers –

"Are you sure you want this, Scarlett?"

She couldn't believe her ears. Nevertheless, it was no mistake. He moved aside of her and was gazed at her as he spoke with a clear voice –

"Scarlett, before we commence or, shall I say, continue, tell me your expectations of me, with words."

She was speechless. Was she supposed to put into words what she was giving him? Wasn't that what he wanted? Asked of her? She remembered him saying he was not a marrying man. Was that what he was referring to? There was no reason behind it. At least none that she could figure out.

With a hard, long look, she cleared her voice and quietly said "I have no expectations. We are not married. You are not a marrying man, so you said, so consider this my gift to a returning soldier."

"Scarlett, forgive me, I shouldn't have asked you just that, when…"

"Hush, please don't apologize or I'll die of shame" She lowered her eyes as she felt the tears coming up, and herself unable to stop them

"Please my love. I have dreamted of you, day and night. I have every bit of intention of marrying you, making you a decent woman, if being married to a varmint like me is of decency, but I am asking you to tell me what you want."

She pulled back, fastening her bodice and gathering her blouse covering herself quietly and rapidly. If he was going to propose, she wanted to be dressed.

She saw the question-mark in his expression, he was moving backwards –

"Are you scared? Don't you want this?"

"Are you really going to marry me no matter what I say or do?"

"If you'll have me"

"Well, so I want you to get bended on your knee and do it properly, and at least for the sake of the stories that we will tell our grandchildren, I would rather be covered decently."

He roared with laughter, catching her hands –

"I will crawl on my knees if it will please you, but please don't cover yourself, you resemble a Greek goddess, a source of jealousy to Hera and Aphrodite, my love. I shall keep the details of your natural attire to myself and take this memory with me to my grave as one of the finest, most exquisite moments in my life."

"Fine, are you sure these Hera and Aphrodite were beautiful?" His eyes were glowing, and in an uncommon sense of tact he refrained from commenting on her ignorance.

"The most beautiful Goddesses of Greek Mythology, Hera was the queen goddess, and Aphrodite the Goddess of beauty", he bent on his knees marveling at her alabaster skin, stroking her with his large hands.

"Talk to me my love, tell me what it is that you want"

Her shyness and former distress seemed to melt, but a tear did drop from her eye as she looked down at him and smiled slowly as she uttered softly –

" I want you, Rhett. And no, I am not afraid, though I should be. Dear God, I am losing my last shreds of dignity, am I not?"

"Not in the least" he whispered.

"So, even if it does send me straight to hell, the answer to your other question is no. And I lied.

He looked baffled for a moment, but she knelt on the dirt floor aside him, holding his shoulders with her bare hands "I was lying when I said it was my gift to you, because I want to be with you. So no, I do want it."


	7. Chapter 7

"A cigar would have made this complete" Rhett remarked.

"Is that so?" Scarlett smiled as she glimpsed at his face, raising herself to her elbows to get a better look of his face.

The cloth of her dress served as a temporary blanket they were resting on.

She felt as happy as a hummingbird on the first day of spring and it was evident in the softness of her expression. She searched his eyes, but to her dismay she did not find the same light that sparkled in them since early morning. He seemed aloof. She started panicking, could it be that he had his way and would now be detached from her? She caught her senses fast enough remembering her mother explaining to her that each man had to feel that a lady was beyond his reach. She scolded herself silently for giving away her joy. No, she should make him struggle for her appreciation.

"You'd better get up. I don't want to reach home after sunset. I want to make sure no catastrophe occurred thus. Besides, I don't want to miss my tea-time with Melly."

He saw her stand and with move around the small cabin with supple movements as she gathered the pieces of clothing that were scattered.

There you are Rhett Butler, see if I care that you are not smiling at me – she thought, and hid the hint of a smile that started appearing in her face when the disappointment was evident on his face.

"Dear God, my dress is so dusty. " she stated with no apparent annoyance, "Well, it's just as well, we couldn't have used Pa's white shirt." She shook the dress vigorously creating a small cloud of dust that made her sneeze. She laughed dismissingly as she started pulling the strings of her bodice.

"Allow me" he offered.

"I don't mind if you do." She uttered the words in an arrogant tone, rather comic and not fitting the circumstances, as if she had bestowed a huge favor upon him. Nude or not, she was going to demonstrate her most ladylike act. She went on trying to find her hair pins in the ground, and arranged herself quite properly humming a tune.

His eyes peered at her face, and a hint of admiration appeared. She was not embarrassed; she was the fearless girl who had swept his heart to an unknown territory.

~~~~~~~~Milady~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After arriving at the mansion Scarlett tried excusing herself on the pretext of checking on the field work, but Rhett accompanied her. He watched her as she did some physical strenuous chores. She was quiet and fast. She was surprised as he moved her aside and took the heavy sack of seeds off her hands.

"We have been doing everything by ourselves, I'm still hoping that some of the field workers will return home" She said apologetically.

"It is highly unlikely that it would happen, Scarlett, but no doubt people will be in need of a decent work. How would you like to come to Atlanta with me for a few days? You can use the time to find some field workers."

"How could I leave here? Besides, we aren't, well, we aren't ..."

He smiled, taking her in an embrace "When would you like to be married? Tomorrow seems like a fine day, or would you rather wait for me to arrange things so that we could do it more elegantly as a grand celebration?"

"I had a huge party once, all things considered, I think I shall let you decide on it this time. Though it may be advisable to do it soon, even if not tomorrow. When you left for the war, it took two weeks for me to calm down from the possibility of being, well, you know."

" I am not a country-boy or a school boy, my dear. You were not impregnated then, and I would be surprised if you were now."

"Oh. " She was not used to talk so freely of such subjects, and her face was as hot as fire. "But how…" She stopped herself. She did not dare look him in the eye. Sensing her embarrassment, he chuckled –

"Come, I am quite proud of you for being honest. If a man has enough will power and self-restraint, the chances of pregnancy are rather low. Tell me, do you really want matrimony, or is it of fear from that condition?"

So, he had been self-restraint. A sting of disappointment struck her.

"Well, I'm not going to please your vanity stating that I am madly in love with you, if that is what you are asking for, I think you've had more than enough entertainment for one afternoon".

"Why not. You have once, remember?"

She realized what he was referring to and became angry - "Jealous, are we? That is not becoming of you Rhett. Won't you please forget that encounter or at least stop waving it above my head? Dear God in Heaven, it's been years ago. Besides, that scene has caused me nothing but trouble and disgrace, giving you plenty of opportunities to mock me. Besides, it's of irrelevance now, isn't it?"

Rhett examined her eyes, she pulled away from the warm embrace, regretting the hastiness of her action as she had moved, nonetheless lifting her chin and saying in a toneless voice "Come, it will be dark soon. No one will try to make you marry me if you don't want to, but I would rather be home before darkness."

"Scarlett, wait. I have been asking you repeatedly what it is that you want. Yes, you wanted us in a most pleasurable form, but do you want to form a new family? I want to know if it is your wish to marry, with all that it entails."

She paused, struck by the question. She hadn't thought of it in this form. She felt weak. Was this his way of backing out from his proposal?

"You know, Rhett, you more than anyone know that when I decided to marry Charlie I had no idea that it would entail having a family. These are the sort of things that I don't think of them until they happen." She shrugged and with showing effort she continued "However, your proposal meant the world to me, it means the world to me. I was simply content with you coming here and being alive. It was your proposal, Rhett." She paused, and with a forced smile she continued -

"There is this old Irish song that Pa would sing, well, when he would drink too much about this man who never would marry, and the girl who loves him drowns herself with grief in the sea. My eyes are green, not blue. If you want to remain single…"

Once again he embraced her in his arms, this time with steel hands and kissed her forcefully, parting her lips, tasting her, squeezing her breasts till it hurt and she whimpered.

"I take it your proposal still stands?" She smiled.

"You will sing to me that Irish song of yours, for I have no intention of not marrying you, and though I haven't the slightest clue how the color of your eyes is of relevance, I am sure I will figure it out."

~~~~~~~~Milady~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As they arrived back at the house, Suellen approached her "Scarlett, Mr. Kennedy is here. He came by this afternoon. Can he stay in-doors?" Her eyes were lowered.

A flash of generosity came over her, and she answered with a smile and a pat on her sister's cheek "Why, I wouldn't dare think it could be differently. Go tell Dilcey we are celebrating this evening. Have you asked Pork to tend to him?"

"No, Mammy humiliated him in her usual manner. I should have thought of that."

"Poor man, he must be mortified."

Suellen took a glimpse at Rhett who was standing at the foyer a few steps away –

"Don't be jealous, I feared for Mammy, not for Rhett".

Her sister laughed and hugged her impulsively, "I've let him in on Ma's study, he wishes to talk to you." She rushed upstairs leaving Scarlett smiling at Rhett.

Scarlett looked puzzled as her sister withdrew quick enough from the foyer, she turned to Rhett "Will you come with me?"

"No, I believe your sister's beau wishes to ask for her hand from you. He was the one who invited me to Twelve-Oaks back then, and he did mention that he wanted to marry her after the 'situation' of war dissolves. It wouldn't be fitting if I were to accompany you. I shall go freshen up before dinner. And Scarlett.."

"What?"

"I will marry you first thing tomorrow morning."

"What?"

"I'll be damned if I spend more than one night in the company of Mr. Kennedy."

She approached his ears and giggling she whispered "I thought of giving you the guest room at the end of the hall upstairs, in fact I had it prepared, but I'm rather tempted not to."

~~~~~~~~Milady~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dawn came. The only light in the sky was of the Aurora. Scarlett steered all night in her bed. Rhett had announced of their coming matrimony, and Melanie showered her with affection all evening. Her sister Suellen announced her own engagement with her old whiskered beau.

Scarlett surprised everyone by singing and generating a fete. After singing a few appropriate tunes she had sang in the past she smiled at her father and started singing Irish tunes. To everyone's amazement Gerald seemed to awake from his everlasting haze and joined her. After _Danny Boy_ came _I Never Will Marry_ , and she couldn't help but send a mischievous look at Rhett from a far.

Yes, all were happy but one. Careen, her baby sister who had only recently turned eighteen. At breakfast, she showed liveliness that she had been absent with the entire year. As the excitement, due to the announcements of the evening, subsided, she took the time to notice her younger's sister's grieving face.

Scarlett cursed herself for singing the Irish folk song regarding broken hearted maiden. It was meant as a private joke directed at her future husband. She thought of her baby-sister's grief in the past year. She knew Careen grieved for Brent Tarleton and her mother, but up until that evening she hadn't realized the depth of her agony.

She found that sleep was not coming easily, and so, with her shawl and this time with a wrapper, she slipped from her room to the dark hallway. Her feet took her to his room. She peeked quietly, and found that he was sound asleep. Hesitant for a moment she entered his room and straightened the covers, planting a small kiss on his forehead. She strolled further to her sister's room. She found Careen kneeling on the side of her bed, weeping silently as she held her bible and her praying beads. She approached her and took her in her arms.

"I know I should be happy. I feel so wicked" she cried helplessly.

"Hush Darling, you are not wicked. Life is wicked, dearest."

Swaying her slowly, she muttered incoherent syllables in a comforting tone.

After a while she signaled Careen to follow her and leave the sleeping Suellen behind. They came to Scarlett's room.

"I don't want to talk, Scarlett" Careen muttered desperately.

"Why is it that everyone around me think that I enjoy talking? I don't believe in talking. We both need sleep. Come, sleep with me sweetheart." And she held her sister in her arms until she felt her breathing ease.

~~~~~~~~Milady~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 _The song I am referring to is "I never will marry". I bumped into it the other evening and it seem perfect for the theme:_

I never will marry  
I'll be no man's wife  
I intend to stay single  
For the rest of my life

One day as I wandered  
Down by the seashore  
The wind it did whistle  
And the waters did roar

I heard a poor maiden  
Make a pitiful cry  
She sounded so lonesome  
At the waters nearby

"I never will marry  
I'll be no man's wife  
I intend to stay single  
For the rest of my life

"My love's gone and left me  
He's the one I adore  
I never will see him  
No never no more

"The shells in the ocean  
Will be my deathbed  
And the fish in the waters  
Swim over my head"

She plunged her fair body  
In the waters so deep  
She closed her pretty blue eyes  
In the waters to sleep

I never will marry  
I'll be no man's wife  
I intend to stay single  
For the rest of my life


	8. Chapter 8

_Hi there, I am dedicating this chapter to Careen._

It was a chill morning. Rhett had gone on his own to Atlanta, promising to bring a few field hands on his prompt return. Scarlett took Careen in every routine ever since she found her weeping, that early morning. No, she had not talked with Careen about her griefs, instead, she offered her snappish yet protective presence. Indeed, snappish she was. Everything seemed to vex her since Rhett's departure.

At the morning of his departure he was still trying to persuade her to come with him to Atlanta – "But Rhett, I don't wish to stay with Aunt Pitty. Besides, the house will be in complete wrecks when I return." She tried to reason.

"You don't have to stay at Ms. Hamilton's, that is if you are courageous enough. In fact, I can perfectly sneak you in my hotel room." He muttered while caressing her hair with his lips.

"Oh, no you don't! If you had the sense that God gave a goat you wouldn't be asking me to toss my reputation off the window in a non-revocable form. Besides, I want to wed in a Catholic church this time, don't add to the sins I'll have to confess before the ceremony"

"Catholic?! I thought your grandparents were Roubilard!" Rhett couldn't hide his amazement at the notion.

"Pa is Irish and Catholic and so was my grandmother on Ma's side. Would you mind? I never thought of asking you which church you belong to. It just seemed natural."

"I don't belong to any church, Scarlett. My parents would go to St. Michael's, the Anglican Church. But I think it was because Lee and the entire high society went there. No, I won't mind a different church if that is your wish. Why though?"

She lowered her eyes – "I want The Lord and all his angels to bless us." She wouldn't tell him more. But since his proposal she had been thinking of this. She wasn't sorry for giving herself to him, yet, in the corner of her mind she thought that she may be punished for being so careless of the rules of holy matrimony, and she was scared. Yet, that was only one part of it. She thought of the prayers they would keep during her mother's life. She had always felt so blessed. She wanted to carry that feeling to her matrimony.

He took her chin and lift her face "Look at me, my love. What is it?"

Not thinking she answered "I could never be sorry about you, or what I gave you, since that is what you seem to inquire about. I wasn't when you left, and I most definitely won't be sorry now that you're back alive and well. However, to be honest, I wouldn't mind receiving a blessing from God, since I intend this to be the last time I wed."

Nonetheless she was astounded when the following morning Careen confessed that she was considering retiring to the convent in Charleston.

"What's of this silliness? What on earth possesses you? Don't you want to have a life?"

Careen burst into another fit of tears, unable to utter a word. Scarlett bit herself cursing quietly for the Catholic upbringing. Maybe I should go to Rhett's church. With that thought she hugged her sister and said -

"We shall walk to the springs today, see what has become of them. Go dress. You are coming with me." Up in the woods there were three pools of fresh spring water. The water served as a special resort of water for the animal stocks. Scarlett hadn't gone there throughout the entire year. She had heard from the young Miss Tarleton that the machinery was beyond repair and the surroundings have grown wild.

"Are you sure it is safe?" asked Careen

"Stop being a ninny. You are my sister, aren't you? I'll take the pistol and we will take the horse without saddle so we can trot without hurting its' back."

Careen had never ridden a horse in such form, let alone without a proper saddle and riding dress, but somehow the self-assurance that Scarlett demonstrated was beyond questioning, and she found herself more than content safely at the front of the horse, held by her elder sister. After the curve in the road Scarlett, feeling rather care-free, and with the cool breeze she encouraged the horse to gallop faster.

Upon arriving she tried to hide her content smile at the sight of her sister's flushed cheeks and happy awe.

The fence and the entire construction that served the area as a pumping station was in ruins, but the scenery was captivating. Wild plants grew around the pool, that had become a pond, once again, creating a natural dome from the top. The rays of light penetrating the shrubby dome seemed enchanted.

Scarlett helped Careen down.

"It's beyond repair." Scarlett uttered more to herself than to Careen. "There is no chance that without these pools we will be able to water the upper fields."

"What are we supposed to do here, Scarlett?"

"There is nothing that we can do. It will take heavy engineering and capable hands to fix this place so that we can water the higher lands to the extent that cotton requires. No, I took you here because I heard that it was beautiful, and I wanted to check it."

An idea came to Scarlett's mind

"Look, the water is shallow there. We could enter and swim, like we did with Pa ages ago."

She did not wait her sister's respond and started taking off her blouse and dress.

"Come, don't be a goose, I bet the water is not half as cool as it is outside."

Careen watched her elder sister with amazement, and to her own surprise she undressed with her back turned. Before she finished she heard Scarlett scream with delight, and turned to see her dive under the water dressed in nothing.

Scarlett's face rose above the water and she splashed while calling "Come, it's wonderful. And leave your chemise out, or you'll freeze to death on the way home. Besides, you've been sick for a life time."

Careen entered the cool water surprised at the soft sensation that clouded all her senses as she let the water cover her completely. Like Scarlett she dived under the water, swimming aimlessly in circles around the pond, as of committing some religious ritual. But Scarlett did not talk as she stepped out of the pond, drying and dressing quickly. Careen raised her face from the pond –

"Don't come out, I shall keep guard here. Keep swimming, darling. You always were a fish in the water. I think we shall do this once a week, as long as the weather permits us."

The place was as peaceful as if taken from another time and place. Scarlett gazed at her rough hands. The taste of Rhett's kisses on her blistered came to mind and she smiled softly.

"Are you thinking of Captain Butler?"

Scarlett hadn't noticed that her sister stepped out of the water and was nearly dressed.

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, I never saw you smile just like that. You love him dearly."

Amazed at the sentiments put out so bluntly, Scarlett pondered a bit before answering "I suppose I do, though I hadn't thought of it much until you put it this way."

"How come? You agreed to marry him, so you must love him."

Scarlett sighed. How was she to tell her naïve sister that love had nothing to do with her first marriage nor with their parent's matrimony when it came to her mother's side, as she found out a year before. Yes, she realized that she loves Rhett dearly, that it wasn't for no reason that she endured the public criticism while associating with him during the war. She wanted his company.

"I haven't always, you know?"

"Really?"

"Well, he is an infuriating rascal, and he has this way of mocking me that lights my ire to flames. During most of the war I was sure that my heart was someone else's."

"Charles's?"

"No, honey. It doesn't matter whom. But I loved him for ages. Here is the thing, hearts heal. They grow and change. Mine did."

"Scarlett, will you take me to Charleston? I want to see the convent. I am not like you. I don't think my heart will ever heal."

"What is it about us O'Hara girls that we get stuck on our first love like mad dogs?! First Ma, then me, Sue going and marrying her first beau though he is practically ancient, now you!"

"Ma?"

"Ma loved a man named Phillipe. Apparently, Grandpa Pierre and her sisters wouldn't let her marry him, so after he died in a row or something she wanted to retire to the same convent you are talking about or marry Pa. Pa adored her, and I suppose she liked him, but when she died she was calling for Phillipe." Scarlett laid the story with pain in her voice. She had extracted the facts from Mammy after returning to Tara at one of the rare occasions in which Mammy's guard was down.

Careen began weeping.

"I could have been the same, Careen, mooning over a man who did not love me. Up to a month before we fled Atlanta I was sure that my heart will never heal."

"What happened?"

"On the way to Tara something in me snapped. Rhett told me that he was leaving me, that he loved me and wanted me" Scarlett did not blush and the calmness radiating from her stuck to her sister "I thought of Stu and Brent, of the Calvert boys and all my childhood friends who died. I knew he might die too. I gave my heart and soul at that moment, not caring if it will shutter to pieces if he dies. Indeed, there wasn't a day after, that I did not wonder if he was alive or dead. He could have died and I would have never known. He could have decided not to come back for me, and it would have left me in the same place. Even so, I'd never regret risking my heart again. And I would do it again and again when the right man came. Believe me, there are so many men out there, kind and strong and loving."

Scarlett was sitting on the ground holding the pistol, not daring to look her sister in the eye. She couldn't tell if Careen realized to what extent she gave herself to Rhett. She felt the small hand squeeze her own, and as she lifted her gaze she saw the tears streaming down her sister's cheeks.

"It was so painful" She wept "I am not sure that I can bear it again if my heart breaks."

"And miss on life? No sweetheart, we are O'Hara. We don't run away. You have such a sweet heart, there is no way that it will remain in solitude."

When they were riding back Scarlett drew the reigns so that the horse would paste slower –

"I have a favor to ask – do make sure that Sue loves Frank. I gave my consent to this matrimony but I keep asking myself if it was wise. Sue had never had another beau, and she had a hard time with me trifling with all the boys, well, till I married, but then most of them had gone to war." Scarlett stuttered through most of her words, aware that the same description applied to her youngest sister.

"She had a thing for Alex Fontain, but she never thought that he would noticed her."

"I knew it" Scarlett cursed herself silently for giving her consent to the match so quickly.

"Well, no one outside of Tara knows of this engagement and we can easy enough pull out of it"

"You wouldn't!" cried Careen.

"Oh yes I would, if it could give Sue a better life. Lord knows that I would have made poor Charlie miserable had he lived to come from the war. No, the only man I will not be able to put to distress is the dreadful varmint who fortunately had fallen in love with me!"

Careen couldn't hold the laughter that came due to the frank confession her sister made so passionately, both regarding herself and the intimidating Captain Butler whom she hardly spoke in whose presence.

"Do hush up! We are coming near the house, and though I am truly delighted that you are finally amused, even if it is because of my horrid character and my beloved fiancée's mal-traits, but I wouldn't want you to have to share this source of amusement with others. They will undoubtedly inquire. So be as it may, do keep a sad look on you face at least until tomorrow."

Having said that Careen's glee, grew to a roar and she started sniffing unable to contain herself.

****Milady*****

"May I inquire what have you done with Careen? She was practically humming a tune at dinner" Asked Melly when the two were sipping their daily tea.

"I explained that hearts heal and took her swimming."

"You are so clever. I could never think of such a notion. Besides, I can't swim."

"I could teach you, but maybe when Ashley returns he will. He is a fine swimmer."

"I keep forgetting that you grew together. Tell me of him as a boy. I miss him so."

"Well, he was the fairest in the whole county. Tall and blonde and gallant. Once I my ankle went wrenched and he carried me in his arms home not complaining or resting once. Why, when he returned from his grand tour I thought he looked like a knight in shining armor. Most of the boys were like me, not very schooled or the most eager readers, but he was different. So much like you, my dear." She squeezed her hand affectionately.

"I am glad to hear that you see resemblance makes a good match." Rhett had arrived unnoticed by both, and his words, though smooth, did not conceal the irritation.

"Captain Butler! We weren't expecting you so soon!" exclaimed Melanie, unaware of the tension that came with his words "Scarlett indulged me with stories of Ashley's youth. I do hope that he would come back soon."

"Madam, your prayers may be answered sooner than expected, he awaits you in the parlor." The drawl in his speech was smooth.

Both women jumped to their feet. Melanie held Scarlett's arm when Scarlett rushed her "Go dear, what are you waiting for?"

They watched her run through the veranda into the house. Scarlett approached Rhett with a smile when she his detached appearance.

"Aren't you going to greet the beloved knight in shining armor?"

"Dear God in Heaven!" she exclaimed "Are you really going to be at that?" She asked me to talk of him, so I tried to be kind! And Rhett, it's true. I thought of him that way for ages, why just today…"

She stopped. His gaze changed "What happened just today, Scarlett?"

"It doesn't matter. What matters is that you are being a fool!"

"Fool, am I?"

"Yes! And a stubborn one, if we are at it. I have no intension of soothing your arrogance with assurances that my heart is yours. If you are not aware of it by now, then stay out here in the porch and sulk all you want." Having said that she marched proudly in the house. She did not see the smile that eased his rough features.

She felt his presence when she kissed Ashley's cheek and received his grateful embrace. A sense of regret invaded her heart. She would die of jealousy if an old love of his would kiss him in front of her. She therefore drew back and leaned to Rhett's arms as she answered Ashley's appraising words looking at Melanie's glowing face – "Stop that nonsense Ashley Wilkes. The only one who deserves praise and appreciation here is that saint wife of yours. Never will you meet a braver person than the wife you had married. My entire family would have gone mad without her here."

Melanie's eyes flashed at her and they both forced and laughter that was meant to make it sound as a joke. The understanding look revealed Scarlett that she was not alone in her reluctance to share all the occurrences of the past years.

She felt Rhett embrace her from the back and she had to restrain herself from kissing him at that moment. Instead she took his hand with both hands and caressed it softly, and whispered "I am glad you are not sulking."

***Milady***

It was way after midnight when Scarlett tiptoed barefoot in the corridor, slipping into Rhett's dormitory. His eyes were open, and she let out a breath of relief.

"I hoped you would be awake."

Without waiting his invitation she slipped under the covers and cuddled in his arms.

"Just today I told Careen that my heart was taken by someone who wasn't Charlie for ages" She whispered "And I told her that now it is yours to have. And you know what she said?"

"Do tell me" He replied as his hands pulled her to his bare chest.

"That I love you dearly."

"I'm a fool".

"And a varmint and a rascal." She giggled to his chest

After a while her muscles grew stiff as the thought of the convent came to her mind once more. She confessed the entire conversation they have had.

"I don't like you going swimming on your own."

"Don't be a fool, Rhett, who would come there?"

"The county is filled with vagabonds and veterans, Scarlett. Don't be a child. Besides, what good would the pistol do, you wouldn't know how to use it!"

She drew a long breath.

"I used it."

He lit the candle and sat prying through her face.

She swallowed hard.

"One day a Yankee deserter arrived here. My sisters were out in the back garden and close fields and so were Pa and all the rest, except Melly and the kids. I saw him holding Ma's jewelry in his hands, as he approached me I shot him dead." The tears she hadn't shed for the incident before were not pouring. No, she was numb when she spoke.

"Melly came out of her room with nothing but her night-gown and Charlie's sword as soon as I shot. She told my sisters that I was cleaning the pistol and that it fired. We buried him together in a low pitch where the vine grows. She is the only one who knows."

"Why haven't you told me?"

"I don't know."

"Yes you do. I knew something was bothering you. I thought you were still, well never mind what I thought. It must have been this, was it not?"

"How can you want me after that?" She asked.

"Didn't I tell that God would have to help the Yankees if they found you?!" He smiled, but she realized he was not mocking her. "No dearest, nothing you do can make me not love you."

They were silent, and Scarlett felt that sleep was claiming her "I should go"

"All right. But tomorrow we shall go to Charleston to that church of yours. I'll be damned if I keep doing with these crumbs that you let me have on grounds of propriety."

"Why is that? I thought you liked the outdoors."

But to her surprise he did not raise to another barb and answered simply "I want to bed you in a bed, like a man and his wife are supposed to."

When she was by the door he said "Darling, we can take Careen with us. I think that going, even if it is to see the convent will do her good."

She jumped at him kissing him lengthily "You are good to me!" Her kiss surprised him and after a few moments, as she no sign of withdrawal he pulled her back under the covers whispering - "Stay. I promise I will send you safely to your room before dawn." She hesitated. "I won't do any harm" He smiled.

"You've done enough, haven't you?"

"Only good, my dear, only good." And he held her in his arms as they both drift to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**An especially long chapter. The italics are MM's words, altered slightly but not enough so as to claim them to my story. I just love that bit when she kicks off Mrs. Merriwether to mind her business** **Please R &R!**

"Ma – take me with you and uncle Rhett" Wade was pleading with tears in his eyes.

Scarlet felt her heart tangle, she raised her eyes questioning Rhett if they could.

"Scarlett, the road is not that easy." He muttered in a low tone.

"Oh, Ma just can't not be with me when I go to sleep." The toddler was wailing clinging to his mother's skirt.

"Captain Butler, I can care for Wade while we travel" Careen interrupted "He is no bother and he does go to sleep only with Scarlett beside him.

"Go pack for him too. It seems the ladies here are in of need your company, son. You'll help me manage the horse though?" Rhett took the boy in his arms and wiped his dripping nose.

"I already have." She gave Rhett a small pack containing few cloths for both. The low weight of the package did not escape him. "I have to admit that I was having a hard time with leaving him behind and I don't want Sue to have him on her hands. I would have asked you anyhow even if he hadn't started this scene."

He gave her a long smile and touched her cheek with the back of his fingers as he turned.

"Will you wait a few minutes while I talk to Sue?" Without waiting his reply, she entered the house in haste taking Suellen by the hand to the parlor.

Once there she breathed deeply and prayed to be able to pull this one out properly without causing any harm -

"Suellen, I have asked Alex Fontaine this morning to come by while we are away and make sure that the work is done properly by our new workers. Do make sure that you can host him properly in these two weeks."

Suellen bit her tongue nervously "Surely Ashley can do this with the workers."

"Ashley left for Atlanta early this morning. Anyhow, Alex is more practical, and I am not sure if Ashley can handle these new free laborers. Alex was willing to give a hand. He'll come around twice a day, at dawn and just before dusk. You should have something light for breakfast maybe that fine cake you make, and he will probably be in a hurry to leave, but in the evening, do invite him to dine. You may offer to invite his family, but let him decide on it."

"Couldn't Melly do this?"

"What is it with both of you? First Careen wanting to join a convent, now you reluctant to host a fine young man! Well, Melly can't do it because if I recall you are Ms. O'Hara and it is your home that Alex is helping!" Seeing her sister's paling face, she tried to change a tune "Sue, Alex is a nice lad as Pa would say, or chap or something of the sort. He doesn't bite. He lost a brother in the war and works as hard as we do. You'll find him easy to talk to. You've slaved here just like his sister-in-law, you had to put up with typhoid and with me, Heaven knows what was worse."

Though Suellen seemed surprised at Scarlett's encouraging manner, she hesitated.

"Go on. What's bothering you?" Scarlett was beginning to lose her temper.

"Should I tell him I'm engaged?"

"Why on earth would you do that?!" She lowered her voice and took her sister in her arms, startling her completely "Honey, Frank's only just asked you, surely you are not that obligated. Why he hasn't even given you a ring, or set a date, or presented you to his sister in Marietta, now has he? There's nothing wrong in entertaining a fine neighbor or hosting or even calling on him if it happens to be suggested…"

Scarlett felt that she was running out of words when Rhett entered the room and smiling added "What your sister is trying to say is that you have not entered wed-lock in a Catholic Church, like the one she is planning for us. Besides, it's not as if you are in mourning and being asked to dance. Isn't it?"

"Good Grief! You and Melly keep bringing it up as if I have something to be proud of!

"But you do, in an ocean of hypocrites and narrow minded fools you came out and danced as an eighteen-year-old should! Thank goodness you had the courage to do that".

"You can't imagine the letter I got after that episode from Ma!"

Rhett smiled devilishly as he said - "I get the general theme - disappointment, forgetting your upbringing and, let's not forget, sending your father to have a nice little chat with me."

Scarlet turned her eyes to Rhett with horror, He wasn't going to tell her of that night, now was he? - "No you don't! Don't you have anything better to do than embarrass me in front of my sister?"

Suellen joined his laughter – "Ma was baffled when Pa returned without you. I wondered how you managed to pull that one off. Before he left for Atlanta they were acting as if you had died or killed someone."

"Let's just say that Rhett can hold his liquor better than Pa. But returning to the main subject which is you, and Rhett do get out of here, I do want to talk to Sue alone" she snapped and almost shoved him out the door.

"How delicate of you milady." He took her palm and kissed it mischievously as he left.

"Sue, look me in the eye when I say this, because I shall never repeat it – You are lovely, lovelier than me, you just never had a chance of feeling it because the war started too soon for you."

Her sister gazed at her with sheer surprise -

"Ma isn't here to tell you this, so I suppose it is my duty. Alex will be here. So, wake yourself up way before dawn tomorrow, make sure that the kettle is hot and that you are smiling like the hostess you can be when he arrives. You are The Lady of this mansion, even if it is more farm than a mansion now. He is a gallant neighbor helping us. And Sue, don't complain – man hardly like it. Listen to him. Don't be too grateful."

She saw Suellen was still not sure of herself -

" When I called on them to ask him this, it was so gloomy there. Yes, you are lovely and spirited. Put a flower in that red hair of yours and smile. Remember, you're my sister, and God help a man we set our eyes on!"

Having said that she left the room thinking that her mother must be rolling back and forth in her grave right now 'Well, you are not here, and you were the one who tried to persuade me not to marry Charlie'.

She went up to her room and gathered in a small bag a spear blouse and some under-garments and a shawl. She had nothing more to gather. She wouldn't wear her first wedding dress, even though it was still there.

As she approached Rhett who arranged the same wagon that brought her from Atlanta she smiled – "Ready?" He asked

"Oh yes. How are we going to do this?"

"Although the tracks are not back to normal I thought we'll take our chances with a train from Atlanta to Augusta and from there to Charleston, we might just be there early tomorrow. A veteran you seem to have saved will be joining us until Atlanta so he can bring the wagon back."

"Will Benteen?"

"Yes, that's the one."

She kissed her father and took Rhett's hand assisting her to climb the wagon. For a second she hesitated and closed her eyes breathing deeply. Then she climbed the wagon and turned to her little son smiling and whispered "I have news for you Wade. You are about to have a new father!" Not wanting Melanie to hear her out.

"These aren't news, Auntie Melly said Uncle Rhett was going to be my new pa yesterday." He answered dismissingly causing a laughter in and out of the wagon.

"Well, and I am going to marry my love" she added whispering in his ear secretively.

Wade looked amazed "Really? She hasn't told me that!"

"What has not been told to you, son?" Asked Rhett as he took his place at the front of the wagon next to Will Benteen after Careen settled.

"Aunt Melly said you were going to be my new pa, but she didn't say anything about ma marrying her love. Who's that, Uncle Rhett? "

Rhett breathed deeply eyes fixed at his bride to be "I suppose we shall both just have to wait and see, won't we?"

************Milady****************

It was mid noon when they reached Atlanta. As they had two hours of waiting Scarlett took Wade and Careen to visit Ms. Hamilton. To her dismay she found Mrs. Merriwether with her Aunt looking at her with a severe face.

She took Scarlett's by her hand, ignoring her protest that they had only come for a short while and with no introduction she fired away at Scarlett:

" _Because your own dear mother is dead and Miss Pitty, not being a matron, is not qualified to — er, well, to talk to you upon such a subject, I feel that I must warn you, Scarlett, Captain Butler is not the kind of a man for any woman of good family to marry. He is a —"_

"He saved me and Melly, not to mention Ashley's son, for I gather that it was Ashley who had found the most pursuing errand of his to come and notify you of my coming matrimony fully aware that I will stop here on my way."

The conversation heated and ended when Scarlett, practically yelling at her as she breathed deep and turned to take Wade's hand "Dear me, how the time flies. Aunty do kiss your great nephew goodbye. You'll have to come visit us at Tara because I am not sure Atlanta will have much appeal to me when I return from Charleston".

 _Scarlett knew she had an open enemy now instead of a disapproving friend. But she did not care. Nothing Mrs. Merriwether could say or do could hurt her. She did not care what anyone said._ Ashley's betrayal was a different thing 'Why can he not be happy for me?' she wondered as she swallowed her tears.

Careen had heard Scarlett's words with Mrs. Merriwether and though shocked at her sisters standing in front of the worthy matron, she felt Scarlett's discomfort. However, she kept her thoughts to herself.

Scarlett found a bakery and bought them some muffins and hot chocolate. Careen's questioning eyes were met with the sad eyes of her sister – "I don't think my son remembers the taste of hot chocolate or fresh muffins" she whispered.

With gloomy eyes, she met Rhett on the dock, reluctant to share the reasons for her foul mood. As the train started its travel it evaporated, and excitement washed over her. She leaned at his shoulder with excitement – "I am so happy, Rhett."

"You had me fooled for a minute or so."

"I met Dolly Merriwether and she gave us warm blessings naturally." As he pondered a second "Oh, Rhett, they were as warm as the Arctic seas!"

"So, good old Ashley came tattle telling?" He chuckled "I wondered at his haste this morning."

She did not answer but the hurt was evident in her features.

She hushed him as the puzzled look in Careen's eyes made her self-awareness grow, "er—I suppose that if you were planning on settling in Atlanta you should think again. I shall be an outcast for years after this little talk, reminding her of Maybelle's wedding gown."

Careen lift her head smiling "Dear, I do believe it had to do more with you telling her that you'd marry Captain Butler even if he had fought on the Yankee side and sending to tell that, to what was it? Her busybody friends? Sherman would have fled Atlanta had he seen the look in your eyes that moment!"

"I'm not so sure it's a complement." She giggled "but she did look rather upset, did she not?"

She decided to change the theme and looked at him- "Rhett, would you rather the Anglican church you talked about?"

"Are you really interested in what I'd rather?"

"I'm asking, aren't I?"

Only after Careen and Wade fell asleep he answered her -

"I don't know, Scarlett. Maybe that church represents the father who disowned me."

"Well, God did not disown you. He was with you when you made all that money before the war, when you ran blockade, in the war and he was with me when he returned you to me."

"I'm not so sure I believe in him, my dear." he laughed though moved.

"Well, I do, and that's enough for both of us. Just think about it until tomorrow. If you prefer, I think I'll be proud to follow you to any church you'd like. And if it helps upset your father, that is fine by me!"

"This wouldn't have to do anything with Careen's new fascination with the convent, now would it?"

"If you're nasty I will not talk to you." She said as she cuddled to his chest, ignoring the possibility of her sister observing her.

"Now that will make a fine bride, won't it?"

****Milady*****

They arrived closely in the early hours of the following day in Charleston. Scarlett had telegrammed her aunts that she was coming the day before. Scarlett and Careen entered first to find their two aunts waiting with a serene look accompanied by an aging man in his mid-sixties. The features were far too similar.

"You must be Mr. Butler. To what do I owe the honor?" she did not bother greet her aunts having seen the scenery they so easily arranged for her.

"I believe you are about to wed my son." The man talked with Rhett's familiar drawl and the tone of his voice was almost identical to Rhett's.

"True."

"I do hope you reconsider your decision, young lady. Have you given a thought to the fact that in marrying him you are disgracing both yourself and your family? I see you have a son, and you are a respectable widow, even if my son's courting you during the war has done some harm to your reputation."

Overwhelmed and suddenly feeling extremely tired she sat and looked up – "Careen, we shall be departing shortly, do go to the garden find Wade and Rhett and see if he can find a carriage to take us to the St. Michael's. We shall not be assisting with Auntie's help."

Careen gave her sister a look and rushed out.

Scarlett looked at the man "How dare you try ruin your son's chances for happiness. Haven't you done enough? Twenty years and you haven't had enough?"

"You don't know him, as I do, young woman."

"Dear God, you know him? You haven't seen him in decades. You disowned a boy. He is a man. And a man of standing and worth. I am not talking of wealth. Let me tell you this – your son is a great gentleman. Wise, funny, generous, kind and strong. Nothing breaks him. He loves life and appreciates it no matter how hard it must have been for him. He can see a child to his heart. Heaven's knows that if I did not have my father's love I wouldn't be half the person I am. The same Irish man who's home these fine ladies were too high and mighty to call upon except for my wedding. No, respecting choices is something this town tarnishes, it seems." Her voice was stern with the effort she was making not to cry, not to scream.

"We shall be marrying in your church, today, before God. If you decide to disrespect that, God have mercy on your soul."

"How dare you?"

"I dare."

"Well, I commend your courage and your heart, even if I have my doubts regarding your wits."

She stood, for the first time looking disapprovingly at her aunts. The two women seemed to shrink under her gaze – "I do believe this call had gone far enough" as she closed the front door behind her.

Scarlett held her sister's arm and said in a low tone "Dear Lord! What should I tell Rhett?"

"Pray, something will come by your way."

"Why should she pray?" Asked Rhett.

"For guidance, of course." Answered Careen with considerable conviction " My aunts were giving her a terrible time, blaming her for my resolution to inquire about the convent. Scarlett, well you know her, retorted, and I am not sure if Pa's Irish style is acceptable by The Lord. Even if she did mean well. Other than that, it's pure kindness of her to decide we should depart immediately to a hotel."

Scarlett's mouth formed a surprised O as she blinked-

"You'd make a terrible nun, Ms. Careen. Lying is a sin young lady." She whispered to her sister as her sister stepped in front almost dancing out the front gate.


	10. Chapter 10

Her head was aching from effort to withhold the scene she had just been part of. She pretended to consent to Wade's request putting him at the front with Rhett. Steamy tears were pouring from her eyes.

Nothing the Old-Guard would say could hurt her. She knew that it was wrong and that she was expected to care, but she didn't. Yet, the thought of Rhett's father taking the trouble to try and prevent her from marrying his son was inconceivable to her.  
/How was their life going to look like, she puzzled?

A look at Careen put her hesitations to rest. Her sister's eyes were glowing with light, her cheeks red and a thrilled smile was written all over her delicate features.

"I thought you'd be shocked from my words back there" she whispered smiling, while brushing the tears to the sides of her cheeks.

"No, you were amazing. What do you think though, of our aunts' behavior?"

"I reckon I understand why Pa called them Bodalach Óinsí and Baithiseachán when Ma wasn't within hearing range" Scarlett answered laughing

"What's that?" Asked Rhett who apparently was listening "I never thought you knew Gaelic."

"The first one means stupid woman, and the second fat-head. Don't ask me who's what, I was not supposed to listen, let alone repeat it! And no, I only know some bad words" She kept laughing "It's a shame mother never taught us to swear in French, it probably  
/sounds more refined and gives just the same relief."

He laughed and started showing Wade the scenery.

"Thank Goodness we didn't…" uttered Scarlett,

"You sounded so like Pa, when he spoke of you to Ma, coming from Atlanta two or three years ago."

"What? Suellen mentioned it just before we left, I thought that he told her, well, I thought he eased her mind with some excuse for my conduct." She was truly curious. Rhett had left her father drunk and penniless in the thresh hold of Ms. Hamilton's  
/making him quite an easy target to conspire with.

"He sure tried, but she didn't believe him. They had a loud row in the study and I heard Pa stating that you were still 'A young lassie', and there was no sense in not letting you dance at eighteen, even if he was an Orangeman. He said that in the Old  
/Land young women were not expected to wear black more than a year and that it made no sense why they should be treated otherwise here, stating that he couldn't care less what those old ladies wrote or thought so long as you were having fun."

Scarlett's eyes grew moist again –

"Ma gave him a thorough scold and when she realized he was persistent, a cold cheek over ten days or so after that."

"What eased her mind?"

"The supplies arrived from Atlanta after ten days or so, and she was very happy with the amount of supplies he had bought, that she let it slide."

"How could that be?! Why he had no money!" before thinking the words came out of her mouth. Then she looked at the wide shoulders in front of her.

The trouble that Rhett had gone through to keep her there and pull her out of her mourning weeds made her happy beyond words. 'It doesn't matter if a single soul in the whole South doesn't accept me after today' she thought.

"Poor Pa!" she exclaimed "And how on earth you came to know of that?"

"Oh, " Careen lowered her eyes "I was just under the window at the time"

"Eavesdropping?! You?!"

Careen was speechless. Scarlett patted Rhett on his shoulder – "Darling, I do believe that you and my sister share some traits."

"Is that so?" He smiled "What has she caught you with, Careen? If she compares you to me, it can't be good."

However, before Careen could think of a way out they arrived a crossing of two streets in which stood the prominent elegant featured two-story stuccoed brick church painted in white. Scarlett and Careen gazed at the giant classical portico and 186-foot  
/high massively proportioned steeple.

"It's magnificent!" exclaimed Careen softly "this building looks like a bride!"

The splendor of the building gave Scarlett a pause – she was going to marry in rags! This thought was aching her heart. She brushed her skirt disapprovingly as she stood to disembark the carriage. The gesture was noticed by Rhett who pressed her to him  
/for a brief second as he helped her down. At the sight of his eyes and the gentle smile on his features Scarlett felt some consolation.

*****Milady*****

She was at the back room of the church. The younger priest, John Woodward, was a man at his late twenties who did not know of Rhett's history, or had the courtesy not to mention it if he knew, and merely mentioned that the parish include one Butler family.  
/Scarlett smiled at him politely as she volunteered no information in the matter. The firmness had not left her features since she had met with her aunts.

"From his accent, I gather Mr. Butler's origins are from around." He talked to Careen pleasantly, "But where are you from?"

"Oh, Captain Butler has spent the war blockade running and around Atlanta, my late brother-in-law's city, we are from Clayton County" smiled Careen, the brightness had not left her cheeks, and for once she did not seem as shy as she'd be around strangers.

"Oh, I know the reverend of your congregation than" He smiled happily.

"I doubt it, my sister and I were brought up as Catholics. In fact, I was sure that my sister would wed at the St. Mary's, but here we are." And she looked around appreciating the fine surroundings.

'It was the original plan' thought Scarlett yet the mess of her plans seemed to be quite satisfying looking at Careen's interest in the young man in front of her.

He turned to Scarlett all serious "Mrs. Hamilton, I appreciate you taking the choice of coming in sacred matrimony with our church. There are a few differences you should be aware of."

"Reverend, there is no way I shall allow her to be free of me once I set the ring on her finger. However, if you are referring to the part of obedience, I do believe there is much considering to be done" said Rhett not attempting to hide the amusement  
/from his eyes.

Scarlett started laughing, resigning the aloof appearance "Reverend Woodward, am I really supposed to vow to be obedient to this rascal?"

Both Careen and the young reverend seemed embarrassed.

"I'm sorry, Careen, Reverend, it's just that there must be some exceptions? No? Lord help us!" and she rolled her eyes up in a comical expression of distress.

"We will just practice the matter a bit" continued Rhett lightly "Scarlett dear, care to accompany me for a short while?"

The undertone was clear, it was not a request nor a question, he was ordering her to come with him. 'now what?'

"Wade is hungry " She saw his frown and added quickly "Careen, would you be a dear and handle the matter?" She stood and smiled at Rhett straightening her eyes toward him.

"Sure".

And the two left the room leaving Careen with Wade and Reverend Woodward.

"May I invite your nephew, with you of course, to the kitchen for some hot coco?" He asked as he saw her a small paper bag with some buns.

"That would be so kind of you" she replied and the two took the little boy with them to the next room behind the chapel.

The typical shyness that she had, had somehow been left behind and she found herself talking to the young reverend quite freely of her home, the sickness she had surpassed during the war and the death of her mother.

He was brought up there in Charleston and fought along-side General Lee up until the very end. And as she asked him how it was that he became a clergy-man he smiled at her with a distant look in his eyes –

"I had a wife and a child. When I came back they were dead. Died from typhoid two years ago, and I didn't know. That, and the sorrows of the war brought me to a resolution that I should devote my life to the children of God."

"My fiancée died at Gettysburg. I came to Charleston with my sister since I was contemplating on joining the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy" She confessed "Scarlett is against it though, she thinks I'm running away from life."

The young man gave Careen a long sad look making her lower her eyes "Is that why your sister chose our church?"

"No, or at least I don't think so. I think it has more to do with her husband, I think she is doing this for his sake. Besides, ever since I told her of this doubts are coming to my heart, and I am so confused. Without my prayers, I don't know what I  
/would do, these past two years, but somehow… " She paused and sighed softly

"Pray continue" he asked with a quiet tone.

"Somehow, and it's more than her words, my sister's absolute love for The Captain, gives me such hope."

"She's aninspiration"

"You can say that again" She laughed as she served Wade with the coco and another cup to the surprised man beside her.

*****Milady******

He was holding her arm nonchalantly but as they left the room the grip became harder.

"Will you now tell me what really happened at your aunts, and why you didn't tell the good reverend that I belong to the Butlers of this city?"

"I just don't want anything to go wrong" she answered trying to look innocent.

"What happened Scarlett? Don't give me that look. It's written all over your face, you are not telling me something."

"Well," She moved uneased "The obedience part is supposed to come after the ceremony and confession-wise, I thought this wasn't a Catholic church!"

He did not let her hand go and kept staring at her with a dark gaze.

"Don't you trust me, Rhett? I don't want to talk of what happened at my aunts, it's of no relevance to us. Please…" She pleaded.

"I'm not here to please" he began retorting.

"You should " it was a feminine voice with a familiar drawl.

Rhett turned very slowly – "Mother?"

"I haven't grown so old that you fail to recognize me, now, have I?" half laughing half crying a short grey haired woman took Rhett in her arms "You should, Rhett darling."

"Should I what?"

"Trust her and do your best to please her." She turned to face Scarlett – " You made my husband quite furious sweet child – well done! I would have my doubts regardingwedlock for my son, but the scandal you have made earlier proves that you are

just the match I had dreamed of for him. I'm afraid I will not be able to stay long, so if you please call the minister."

"I'll just go prepare a bit" said Scarlett crimson to the roots of her hair, "I won't be long."

Rhett was about to let her go, when he took hold of her right arm again – "Thank you"

"What on earth for?"

"For giving my father a fit, for trying not to upset me. Who would have thought you'd turn to be such a sweet person?"

"My aunts would disagree" She murmured.

He handed her a parcel wrapped with brown paper. Her brows rose quizzically. He pecked at her cheek and whispered "You didn't think I'd let you marry me in rags, now did you?"

Excitement overtook her and through her arms around his neck "You are good to me!" she exclaimed.

"Young lady, why you are forgetting yourself!" He laughed.

And happy she was when she opened the parcel. She found a soft chiffon dress with little pearls decorating the neckline and the shoulders. The dress was meant to be worn without the wide petticoat which was perfect since she did not possess one anymore.

Careen was happy as a fiddle. She admired the beautiful embroidery and gave Scarlett some roses that Reverend Woodward encouraged her to pick. Scarlett took two roses from the bundle and handed the rest back to her excited sister. Careen was playful with  
/Wade singing and dancing with him around the room.

"Why you are still a baby yourself, Careen" she said softly towards her. At the bottom of the parcel she found a soft chemise that made her shiver from expectation. Looking at herself she said "Lord, I don't think Rhett will ever let me forget I married  
/him in a dressed to my shimmy with an attire he chose."

His eyes were lit as he saw her walk towards him. She walked through the aislelooking at him confidently. The dress surrounded her like a while cloud and she seemed gliding. She was too thin, too pale and tired. Yet, the light in her emerald eyes

and her dimples were dazzling fading the dark signs under her eyes.

She amazed him as she paused by him to attach to his front pocket the red rose she held.

He'll never remember his vows, her voice repeating her vows while her eyes watched him with intensity erased every thought. As the reverend pronounced them Husband and Wife he gave her an indecent too long a kiss on her lips leaving her breathless.

 _I always loved Gerald O'Hara's character, so here was another tribute for his fatherhood._

 _The Catholic institution I refer to as the possible convent was founded in 1829 as the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy. In 1949 the word "Charity" was added to the congregation's name._

 _As for the vows, until the 20th century, part of the Anglican matrimonial vow included "obedience" on the woman's side (it's intriguing that it was finally taken out a few decades after that) –however, this word is absent from the Catholic ceremony. I figured that Rhett would joke about it._

 _I am still debating between Will and this new reverend for our Young Careen. Let me know what you think._


	11. Chapter 11

_A bit mature stuff in this one. Not too graphic though. No problem if you skip it, if you'd rather. Please R &R._

Rhett had rented a small cottage by the beach on the outskirts of Charleston. It was a simple place that served as a resort house before the war. The family running the place lived close by. He had thought his honey-moon with her would be extravagant, yet the proximity to the war made him rather cautious with money, most of his money was up North and in foreign countries across the Atlantic. Yet Scarlett seemed content and appreciative with everything he had arranged.

The dunes made Scarlett feel as if she had gone to another world, so different from anything she had been to before. Yes, she had been to Charleston in the past, but she was always confined to the city houses at the old Battery, or King Street and the commercial district. Something in the wild view surrounding her reminded her of the red hills of Tara, finally disarming her of the stern look that clung to her features since early that morning.

Scarlett had thought that the early hour of their ceremony would leave them in a quite an awkward situation. She had planned to stay at her aunts, at least for a while. It was out of the question now. However, it seemed that Rhett had it all figured out and planned in advance.

Early in the afternoon they were running down a dune, the chiffon dress flying behind her like a pair of wings or a cloud, her hair turning loose with the cool autumn breeze, and finally falling to her knees laughing beside her son. The words she had told Careen earlier came to her mind once again 'you are just a baby', and realization that she herself had somehow regained the same carefree manner she had had light-years ago.

A cook had been called to attend to their meals twice a day for the coming week. After a hearty late lunch or early dinner they spent the afternoon running around barefoot in the sand, marveling the beautiful birds by the beach, and eventually a marvelous sunset behind the Dunes. As the full moon rose from the ocean Wade was fast asleep in Scarlett's lap. Rhett took him gently to the room he'd share with Careen at the lower story and returned with a bottle of wine.

"I hadn't seen Wade quite so happy since before we left Atlanta. In fact, none of us had been this happy, for the longest while."

"Your sister seemed quite as tired as your son" he laughed "and how are you doing, my dear Mrs. Butler? Tired?"

She glanced up, at the sound of her new name "More awake than I had been in months. I fear if I shut my eyes this dream would fade away, and I'd wake up hungry and shivering as it happened to me so many times."

"I suppose it means you intend to remain awake all night? How ill-mannered of you to discuss such matters"

"You know what I meant and it wasn't that" She surprised him by baldly adding "Though I won't mind to be kept awake all night by you. Who would have thought?"

"Now, why the surprise?"

"I hated it" she answered plainly, casting her eyes in a far-away point "not with you, though, but back then, it was painful. Humiliating. Dreadful."

He knelt beside her and gathered her from behind to lean on him caressing her slowly.

"How come you agreed?" he asked.

"To marry you?" she asked.

"No, though I understand the question, having the past two days in mind" he held her hand warmly, opening her palm and brushing it with his thumb, "how come you agreed to give yourself to me? That is if you hated it so."

"Oh, that." She lingered for a second "The bonnet."

"What?!"

"The green bonnet . That's why."

He turned her to face him and saw the brightness of her mischief staring at him from her eyes – "For a minute I thought you went crazy!"

"If I recall, I didn't even want to kiss you for that bonnet." She laughed.

"You lying vixen!"

"Alright" she giggled "I did want to kiss you and it wasn't the bonnet. It was anything and everything about you. I didn't know it wouldn't hurt, though it didn't; I reckon I _wanted_ to, and as I told you before - I hadn't regretted it once." She answered simply.

The silence was like as smooth as velvet, soft, for a second he felt sorry that she feared pain She heard him holding a laugh and stiffened only for a second though–

"In my wildest dreams I would not imagine you sending Atlanta's precious Dolly Merriwether to Hell, as you apparently did, or my old bat of a father. What exactly did you say to him? "

"I told him that he was being mean and hateful, well not in so many words. Well, yes, in many words, but not these ones" She felt the wine causing her speech to be clumsy.

She was relishing on his warmth, the strong hands moving throughout her form - "Let's not talk of that. I'll tell you anything you want, if you insist, tomorrow - better yet, you can pay him a visit and ask him yourself if you'd like, I'll join you as long as you take no pistol with you." As she looked up she found an easy smile of combined mischief and appreciation in his dark eyes.

"Care to dance?" he asked

"Are you hiding an orchestra in the woods?" She laughed "Along with some more under-garments?"

"We'll have no use for under-garments tonight, I would have thought you'd figure that out by yourself. Besides, if my memory serves me right, you are perfectly capable of humming a tune" he waited no longer before swiping her to her feet and rolling with her on the veranda at the sea side. She laughed so he started humming a tune out of paste and out of key. She kept laughing all the time till she had become quite breathless. Her eyes were bright with liveliness – "Kiss me Rhett. Kiss me till I see nothing but you."

As she felt her knees giving up to gravity they retreated to the second story of the cottage.

He took the longest time removing each and every cloth from her body, all the while smiling at her, until she stood barefoot and nude in front of him. The oddness of the situation made her shiver – there she was fully naked in front of his eyes.

She was aiming to blow the candle when he stopped her – "Don't, I want to see you."

"I am not sure it's proper to be like this" she whispered reaching toward him. He gave her a long look as he started unbuttoning his shirt -

"It's not proper. It's not proper to be so beautiful. It wasn't proper to grant me the heavenly gift you so generously gave me or to send the world to hell as you have. The pleasures we are to have, have nothing to do with propriety ".


	12. Chapter 12

Dawn emerged through the vast skies above the sea line she eased in her husband's arms. It was chilly. Yet the warmth radiating from his body, or was it theirs, was intoxicating. They had slept in intervals, yet, as she had said early in the evening – she felt alive and vibrant. She rolled towards him and glanced at his sleepy features. She studied the smell of his breath and savored it, memorizing every bristle in his cheeks, chin, neck. She shut her eyes to feel the sense of his skin with her bare lips. The thrill of their lovemaking was preventing her from falling asleep. Her eyelashes tickled him and a soft smile adorned his sleeping features. She was amazed and somewhat disappointed that he was able to sleep, yet the situation of being folded in his warm strong arms, laying against his chest, in a proper bed with the scenery of the vast ocean in front of her was breathtaking, and what more it was elating her spirits.

First rays of light were emerging from the vast sea red colored, playing with the mists and clouds embellishing the skies. A sound of small feet climbing up the wooden stairs came to her ears. She was grateful that her nightgown was near her and she lifted it above her head as if her life depended on it.

Wade looked distressed, yet he took no time to ask permission, and with his sleepy eyes he entered her side of the bed, and cuddled like he would at Tara – "You weren't there, Mother" he whispered as he closed his eyes.

The shift in the bed awakened Rhett who smiled at the boy. His arm extended the embrace so that both were enjoying the warmth.

"I'm sorry Rhett; he is used to joining my bed early in the morning. I suppose that with all the horrors he had passed and me being alone, I saw no harm in it. Besides it is the only time of the day that I had for him…" She was whispering while embracing the little boy, straightening the curls of his light hair.

"Hush" he smiled as he took her even closer to him. "Let him fall asleep again, and you should catch some sleep too."

"I can't. I'm so happy, Rhett. It's so beautiful here. As if there was no war, as if there is no tomorrow, no cotton to pick, no mouths to feed, no nightmares." She blinked at her slip – "Why it's as if there is only you and this endless ocean. I'm scared that if I close my eyes it will all disappear." The end was almost a whisper.

"Nightmares?" He asked, not remotely fooled by her attempt to distract him.

"Oh, I forgot you didn't know. I don't want to talk of it." She shut her eyes at his intense gaze, trying to ease her forehead in vain.

He murmured something she couldn't quiet grasp, but as she was cuddled against him, with her son in her arms, she finally eased her body and allowed a calm slumber to claim her.

****Milady****

Sun was high in the sky when they sat for breakfast. Careen had taken charge of Wade, as promised and was arranging a small package for the adventure they were to find in the Dunes, when a sound of a carriage came to their ears, followed by a young lady and the reverend, Rhett jumped to his feet and the aloof blank expression was wiped off in a brink of a second. He lift the young woman in a warm embrace "Rosemary!" He exclaimed.

As the initial excitement ceased he turned toward the present in the room –

"Scarlett, I am so happy to introduce my younger sister – Rosemary. Rosemary – this is my wife, Katie Scarlett O'Hara, her son Wade Hampton Hamilton, and her sister Careen O'Hara."

Scarlett took a long look at the young woman and more at the sheer happiness glowing from her husband – "Reverend, you are so kind to bring my husband and myself such a visitor."

"It wouldn't have happened hadn't Mrs. Butler, well, Mrs. Edmond Butler came early this morning to the Chapple. Apparently, Ms. Butler wanted to congratulate her brother without vexing her father."

The day was magnificent – they made the happiest picnic down by the beach, enjoying the spray of salt and the calming sound of the waves. Scarlett found her new sister-in-law as well-bred and schooled as Melanie. In a manner that was not usual to her, she rather kept to herself while Rhett conversed with his sister. At a nearby puddle she saw Wade splashing water making Careen and the Reverend laugh. She sent a small prayer of thanks to The Lord for bringing the young reverend at their threshold.

She noticed the same wrinkles of despair she hated so much in herself surrounding the young woman's eyes, the same brightness that hunger causes, so familiar to her. Rosemary, though pleasant, lacked the gut she had found in Melly. Hence she learned that Rosemary was not forbidden from attending the wedding yesterday, she simply thought to best to stay with her irritated father.

As the sun began descending Rosemary seemed quite distressed at the prospects of arriving home after dark. An understanding hit Scarlett, at this part of the South, young women were still not allowed to be with men, even clergy-man unchaperoned. The folly of this situation amazed her. She felt sorry, not without contempt, that Rhett's sister would be such a ninny about things like this. Yet, surprising her husband she manifested consideration when offering -

"Careen, darling" addressed Scarlett her sister "could you will be so kind as to escort Young Ms. Butler home? Reverend John would be kind enough to return you here safely after that. I am sure it would be ill advised that I come near the Butler home."

"Ill-advised indeed!" roared Careen in laughter, "Why Port Sumter would rise aflame again, and it would take more than four years to cease this fire" Scarlett willingly joined the laughter. The laughter disguised the fact that 'young Ms. Butler' was in fact a least a few years Careen's elder.

To the puzzled looks from the reverend and Rosemary Rhett offered "Scarlett has somewhat shocked our father with her Irish ire and insistence in marrying a scalawag like your aging brother"

"Aging! My foot!" exclaimed Scarlett.

"I have to give an evening service at seven. If you would allow it, I shall bring your sister after dinner back here" answered the Reverend.

Scarlett smiled approvingly at them and gave Rosemary a hug "It had been a pleasure. You made Rhett extremely happy". However, the departure wouldn't have been a moment too soon. She found being civil with Rhett's younger sister tiresome. Hence, she found her fear from her father irritating 'Why, she is nearly my age. I would never bother about darkness or father not wanting me to see my own brother.'

A few hours later, when Wade was fast asleep, he asked her what she thought of his sister. Scarlett mused "Well, I hope you take no offence if I say that she strikes me as overly schooled for times like these. I heard you talking of literature and poetry, and it seemed so irrelevant, though lovely."

"Spoken by a true county belle. Was the art of flirting enough?" was the quick barb accompanied by a slight sneer from him.

Hurt washed over her – he had asked, and she answered honestly, not to mention the contempt that she felt for her lack of attendance to her own brother's wedding.

"County Belle – my foot! These hands are more of a field-hand than any belle. Rhett – I don't know your sister, she seems kind and sweet, a bit like Melly. However she does seem a bit out of place in these hard times. I mean, really Rhett – the fuss over coming home after dark?! She is more or less of my age, not Careen's, and it's a reverend!"

The truth in her words was not unnoticed. Nevertheless, he found it almost impossible to apologize for his former words. An awkward silence fell between them. Finally Scarlett stood and said "I'll go fix a kettle, Careen and the Reverend will be returning soon enough."

***********Milady**************

 _For all those who expected something else at the end of this chapter, my apologies. One of the things that I loved about Scarlett was the fact that she was true and straightforward. Rhett, however, laughed at her, patronized her, in endless occasions for her earthliness. I intend to explore this a bit farther…_

 _I'd like to thank, from the bottom of my heart, all the reviewers! You help me keep the paiste. Until next time XOXO Sarah_


	13. Chapter 13

_Huge thanks to Bridgetlynn for her fine comments. A bit of a slow chapter. R &R_

Careen was observing the road carefully. The scenery was different from the Georgian she was used to. Moss was moving with the wind, hung on branches of wide oak trees beside the road. The proud history of the place was so evident that it ached Careen's heart to watch it.

When they reached the Butler home, Rosemary was fast to thank them and enter the house without a glance back. Careen was slightly amazed that the young woman did not offer them to enter the house. The reverend, however seemed unbothered, and he turned face her, smiling kindly –

"Your sister had married to one of the most respectable families out here. A proud father in law she has now."

"I saw him" commented Careen "He advised Scarlett against marrying his own son."

"That explains why your sister sent you with Ms. Butler."

"Though it was hardly necessary, since we were not invited in, were we?"

"And what do you think of that?" he was still smiling, and it encouraged her to share her thoughts –

"Well, in Georgia it would be considered ill-mannered not to invite one in. Yet, from the small encounter I have had with Mr. Butler, I believe I cannot judge her. Our father was always kind and loving; he was from Ireland, I suppose being a foreigner made him more lenient. I cannot begin to imagine what it would be like to knowing that your father might disown you. It strikes me that she loves Captain Butler dearly. Considering the long estrangement between him and his father, and her age, it's a miracle that she developed any positive attitude toward him."

"That's very perceptive of you." Reverend John looked surprised at the young woman in front of him.

"It's just that she is probably doing her best." She offered.

Careen's kindness and the ability to accept human flaws with love moved a string in the reverend's heart. The silence did not last very long when he addressed her "I prepared a ceremony for tonight with parts from the Book of Job. Somehow I think that his story is some sort of conciliation in a time as trying as this. Would you like to attend, or would you rather wait at the side room?"

Careen was surprised that he'd think she would not listen to his service. Then she realized that he was referring to her being a Catholic – "Would you think it proper for me to attend?"

"During the war I entered every church I could. I don't think that it matters where or how you are a believer, as long as you try to do what is right in the eyes of The Lord."

"I would enjoy prayer and a service." She smiled.

***********MILADY**************

The entire evening was ruined, as far as Scarlett was concerned. Rhett had not entered the kitchen, and he was doing God knows what at the living room. She was bored from waiting, and did not want to confront the disapproval she expected to find in his eyes. The memory of the evening before brought tears to her eyes. There was so much tenderness and happiness in that evening, and here, on her second night as Mrs. Rhett Butler, Mr. Rhett Butler wasn't talking with her!

What would her mother have done? 'Ma would never say anything bad about father's siblings' she admitted to herself. Nevertheless, her mother never allowed her to stay with her uncles on her father's side in Savanah. It was always her sisters or nothing. Scarlett wondered whether this fact bothered her father. If it had, he concealed it. But Rhett was not her father, she sighed.

She felt resentment toward his sister, being the cause of the quarrel to begin with, so she told herself. She saw her sister-in-law's weakness and felt no compassion 'Why, I have had to deal with so many mouths to feed, a father who had lost his mind, the Yankees and after that all the sick and hungry veterans roaming through Tara, as if we were the only left plantation in the whole wide world. All she had was a tyrant father.'

Realization hit her. Nor Careen nor Suellen were much better; Careen wanted to run away from the world and Sue was settling on marrying her first beau, just because she was too scared to pursue happiness. Rhett did not utter a word of criticism; he had agreed to let both Careen and Wade join them for this journey. Yes, nor Rosemary nor Careen are cut out to defy this crazy world.

Yet, it was he who had asked for her opinion, and it's not like she had called her names! She merely said that she was not cut out for the harsh times. Wasn't it him who had encouraged her to speak her mind about anything and anyone?

'Who are you fooling, Scarlett, If he had spoken one ill word of your father or sisters, yes even Suellen included, you would be furious'.

She realized that she did not enjoy the day that much either. Was she jealous of the natural and easiness of affection he had shown his sister that day? She tried to push away the unpleasant thought.

Finally the sound of a carriage by the house broke the unpleasant thoughts. Careen came radiant with an invitation to spend the next afternoon at yet another service.

"Was Mr. Butler pleasant?" asked Scarlett with a low voice as soon as Rhett had retired.

"I never came in. I hope he wasn't too harsh on Ms. Butler."

"Oh. I'm sorry I had to send you."

"Don't be. John took me to service and dinner and it was so good, to be with people again! People who believe and pray and hope! I am so grateful for tonight, for yesterday, and for this entire journey!"

The fact that Careen had called the reverend by his Christian name left Scarlett smiling. She kissed her sister on the forehead as their father would do on better times "God bless you Careen." And she parted from her to the upper floor.

As she reached their room she found him stretched on the bed. Assuming he was asleep she sighed and took her nightgown.

"Don't"

She almost jumped at the sound of him speaking.

"You scared me to death, Rhett!" she exclaimed as she held to the nightgown.

"Don't put that on, Scarlett." he whispered as he stood from the bed and took her in his arms.

His hands were untying the strays of her bodice, uncovering her skin to his lips. She let him undress her and yielded to his advances with fervor of her own. She loved that sensation more than she would admit to herself.

After lovemaking she curled near him "I thought you were mad at me"

"I'm not?"

She blushed. The thought of him doing _that_ , and remaining resentful toward her, bothered her. He couldn't be!

"Humph… Rhett…" She pulled away – he looked at her quizzically "Rhett, you surely aren't mad at me _now_ ; are you?"

Annoyed at her insistence he replied "Scarlett, I think it likely that it won't be the last time that I won't like something you say or do. I do believe that the same would be right about me and you being upset by me. We should be honest about such things. Yet, you shouldn't be so imposing. "

She swallowed and kept to herself for a while. As she felt the even breaths of his sleep was amazed at his goal! How could he sleep?! Here she was upset, so upset, after she had given herself to him, and he was sleeping?! Disappointment and frustration combined she let the tears run through her cheeks till sleep finally claimed her.

**********MILADY***********

 _So, here's the thing. I am quite sure that even my fictional Scarlett would get into rows with her loving Rhett, and as in the book, she is not very capable of apologizing, nor would he apologize, nor would he agree to talk things through (most men don't!). As for the makeup love-making, sometimes there is a difference in the depth attributed to it…_


	14. Chapter 14

The next day Scarlett had woken with sore limbs and a resolution to refrain from showing her hurt to Rhett. She'd charm him to death and never let him know that she had cried so the night before, she told herself as she left the warm bed, not without sorrow, living Rhett behind her. She was halfway toward the stairs when she heard him call her. Bracing herself she put the most charming smile in her repertoire and looked back

"Why good morning, Captain Butler, take your time this morning, us country folk wake way early for a city person like you. I am going for a walk down by the sea side."

"Captain Butler?"

"Well, my Ma would call my pa Mr. O'Hara. Since Mr. Butler is for your amiable father, Captain would be just as well."

He was half amused at her attempt to seem aloof and respectable. When he kept to his silence, disappointed she resumed to retrieving the room. She put her shawl as fast as she could, knowing she really wished to find a way to get back to her bed, and left.

She was not prepared for the glory that nature entailed in the early hours of the morning. It was a windy morning, and huge waves clashed against the sand. Seagulls were screeching above in the cloudy skies. She felt lost watching the waves, her nostrils widening with the salty air of the sea. The power of the sea was mesmerizing. The wind was deafening her ears. One wave after the next clashed in the sand, sending the drizzle up, creating a haze that surrounded the sea line like a cloud of mist.

Her curiosity got the best of her. She entered the cloud and surrendered to the sounds, the moist and the power of the wind. She drew her arms to her sides, enjoying the recklessness of the moment. Her eyes were caught at a huge wave mounting seven feet above her head. She heard a shout from afar, or was it near? The wave towered. At the right moment she dived inside and under it, and pooled herself out unscratched and laughing loudly a few feet away. She rose with some effort given the amount of soaked cloth weighing on her and with the stream of the wave reached lower ground. She ran to the shore laughing loudly; She bent her head down as soon as she reached the part of the sand that was dry, and shook her head, sending drops all around her; yes, the sea had connived with her captain of a husband, she thought amused. With that thought her face showed no surprised when she saw that on the sand hillock her husband was standing.

"That was damn stupid, Scarlett" he said quietly "That wave could have washed you with him and drowned you."

"Well, it didn't, now did it? I dived perfectly well inside it. It was utterly amazing!"

"You are a fool. You have no idea what force these waters have. They are not a river or a lake."

"Don't be so dramatic, darling. Please. I simply got caught up with the beauty and the power of it all." She tried soothing him but he kept a stern appearance.

"Well, even if you are no gentlemen aren't you going to help me out?" She asked batting her long eyelashes, this time to remove the salty drops of water that hazed her eyesight.

"I probably shouldn't."

"Great balls of fire, why, I never thought Rhett Butler would be as fussy as an old maid! First last night, and now this?!"

"An old maid?!"

"Going all sulky and full of resentment. Besides, you should be happy. I just got an educational experience regarding sea and sea-captains as to their powers to literally sweep me off my feet or drown me if I get too close."

This last sentence disarmed him completely. He started laughing– "Drown you, do I?"

"Well, you certainly have the power to do just that, and don't you go thinking that I haven't figured out that it was all a plot between you and this ocean of yours. Serves me right, though, leaving all my guard down, doesn't it?" She did not move her eyes from his. Despite the fact that her lips were blue, by this time, he saw that her smile was genuine.

"So, you think that I and Neptune, the God of the sea, plotted to drown you this morning? Is that your claim?"

"Not to drown, well, at least not this morning. Only to demonstrate your overbearing power to a poor country-girl. And here I was, planning to act all lady-like today, instead, I'm drenched" she smiled wearily. With blue fingers she took the hand he stretched out for her.

***MILADY***

Later that morning they were left alone. Careen had gone to town with Wade and The Reverend. They seemed happy enough in the coziness of the cottage. Scarlett was dozing off in front of the fire-place.

"Has that wave tired you so?"

"Oh. I just had a bit of a rough night."

He kept a stern gaze at the fire. Thinking he was still upset with her she lowered her eyes with defeat, not too soon had he sat by her taking her into his arms.

"You were right, though" he said.

"Right?"

"About Rosemary. She is not cut out for these times, especially with our father around her, terrifying the life out of her"

"Would you like to invite her to live with us?" She asked quietly.

He pulled her even closer, stroking her wet hair with his lips" No, she would never agree. For no apparent reason, she loves our father. She won't upset him. Nor will she put herself in jeopardy of becoming an outcast due to her associating with me. Besides it would kill my mother. No, I couldn't."

Scarlett was reflecting on his last words. She realized that she _was_ about to become an outcast. But she did not care.

"Why would she be an outcast, Rhett?"

"Well, as we are going back to Atlanta. And since the businesses I intend to conduct are way too profitable to be considered decent, that would be the case for me and you."

"Are you really going to make that much money?"

He laughed as she hadn't commented about the moral issues regarding this planned venture.

"Yes my love, solely for you and Wade."

After a long silence he asked – "Would you really have agreed to host her?"

"Well, I have had Melly under my roof, and your sister loves you. That's more than enough for me. Moreover, it may put an end to that sulk of yours and put you indebted to me, for once!"

He laughed "It would take much more than that to put me indebted, honey, you forget that I'm no gentleman. Nevertheless, what would you like from me if you had, let's say, a deed"

She knew that he was toying with her, and she didn't mind. In fact, she appreciated it. With much intent she moved so as to face him, sitting on his lap embracing his waist with her legs, looking at him intently she slowly answered "Well, that would be your heart."


	15. Chapter 15

_Had a bit of a writer's block. Careen and Reverend's chapter – behold! Next one is not decided yet._

It was their last day at the beach-house. They had come into some routine. Every evening they would fest in the veranda if the weather allowed it, while during the day Careen and Wade would be taken in the reverend's carriage to assist or simply tour the outskirts of the Battery. Little did Careen know what her sister and brother-in-law did to fill their days, but Scarlett had never been seen merrier. The night before she sat with them as they discussed a new enterprise Rhett was planning to enter. She found her sister's calmness at his remarks as on how to make money from the establishment of the New South inspiring. She knew that such plans were unorthodox. She saw Scarlett listen to her husband with concentration, she found more endearing than mere admiration as one may expect; asking questions, and him, answering some, deliberating on others with keen interest in her views. She found the scene so very different from the scene of their mother and father.

Careen lamented leaving. Each day was better than the one before, feeling more accustomed to the reverend and this was a fabulous day. The little toddler was a source of amusement for them, uttering all sorts of remarks to each scene or occurrence. Even at the soup and bread distribution at the back of the church he had managed to make them lose all restraint when exclaiming with a stern expression "Auntie! This is not wonderfully delicious, this is wonderfully tasteless!" By noon Wade was having his nap, covered in a small blanket, resting at a worn settee at the back room of the church.

Yes, she was happy she had had little Wade with her. By the hours she was feeling that she needed some shelter from the intensity of the reverend's gazes at her, and even more from hers at him. She was observing his tall posture, the gentleness in which he treated his congregation and especially those who had come to benefit from the daily distribution of broth and bread. Families of widows and invalid soldiers were going through the passage; from most he would ask a hand in something, or an errand making the whole ordeal of charity much more tolerable. This situation reminded her of the never-ending lines of soldiers Scarlett had consented to feed. She mentioned it before to him, and was surprised to hear that when he returned from the war he had found very few stations as Tara had been – open no matter how scares the food was.

She was caressing her nephew's golden curls sniffing in his neck and kissing his little hands, murmuring. When she felt that he had finally fallen asleep, she smiled victoriously "Finally! Who would have thought that your falling asleep could bring such satisfaction?"

She heard a small laughter from behind her. Yet, she didn't move. She kept her hand in Wade's small palm while the other kept caressing his arms looking at him and thinking of the miracle her sister had created with her late husband. Watching Scarlett's demeanor with Captain Butler caused the inevitable realization that she had never really loved her former husband, or if she had, it was an anemic emotion compared to the passionate one she had now. And yet, this child was a child of love; Loved by his over-protective mother; by his step-father, by herself. In Tara she never had much interest in him, given that Melanie had all the spare time and natural inclination to pamper her beloved deceased brother's only son. Here, however she came to adore his childish habits, even the fact that each night after the first he had joined her bed in the middle of the night pushing her aside nevertheless attaching his frozen feet to hers without hesitation and whispering "I love you so, Auntie." She couldn't but hold him tight and thank the Lord that such bundle of love was cuddled with her.

She felt that she was still watched. She raised her eyes to see him lean against the door with a soft painful gaze. She couldn't help but smile at him and reach out with a small hand that he took.

"He is beginning to act like my new brother-in-law."

"I tend to forget that your sister is newly-wed and that this is her late-husband's son. Funny, given that I performed the ceremony. Her husband is extremely attached to the little boy, as if he were his."

"It is wondrous, isn't it?"

The silence did not last, she lift her gaze from the boy and looked at him tenderly-

"John?"

"What is it Careen?"

"I wish to express my infinite gratitude to you. Somehow the past week had opened something that has been so shut down in my heart."

"It is I who should thank you. You have so much liveliness and kindness. You have practically lit my days."

"Well, that liveliness is what I am thanking you for."

"You haven't asked me to take you to the convent."

"No, I haven't." She grew crimson.

"Would you like me to?"

"No. It isn't necessary anymore. "

"Are you sure? I wouldn't want you to lament not checking it."

"I have nothing to check. When I thought of entering I knew what I was getting into. Well, and now, I just know that it would be wrong."

"Wrong?"

"You see, Scarlett was right."

"Oh?"

"She said that time heals the heart. I shall never forget Brent, but I don't want to withdraw from life as I did for months and months."

"I came to the church because I wanted to embrace life and the living. There isn't a day I don't think of my lost baby and his mother. However, I embrace life with faith that it has more love and happiness, even for me. This brings me to the question that has been puzzling me - dare I hope that I had something to help you realize the truth in your sister's words?"

She couldn't answer him; flushed by emotions she lowered her eyes. However, her hand was still in his, and she squeezed it in reply. That was enough, he drew her close and smiled.

"I don't want you to leave, Careen. You had come here to stay, pray stay, as my wife."

"Oh" Was the only answer she could utter.

"You wanted to devote your life to God, well, as my wife you can devote it both to God and to life. I cannot promise you a life of comfort, but it seem that you are not looking for that. I can promise to give you my heart."

Realizing that years ahead she would recall this moment, he knelt on his knee not leaving her hand for a second – "Careen, a ray of light came to my life and I would be no man of God if I do not follow it. Will you do me the honor of giving me you hand in marriage?"

Careen started laughing – looking at his hand grasping her own zealously.

"I will admit that I am not letting this hand go for fear that you might not accept this proposal, or perhaps run away" he smiled and his eyes were lit – "Be my wife, Careen, make me the happiest man on earth."

"Will I be able to visit you by the beach, Auntie?" a tiny drowsy voice came from behind them.

Startled Careen looked back at Wade – "Well, little Wade Hampton Hamilton, I suppose that the answer to that is yes." Both – Wade and the reverend folded their arms around her small figure making her laugh and cry at the same time.

More than this, Careen would recall her sister's tears pouring down her cheeks "Baby, so I am leaving you here, after all?" Rhett asked Scarlett if she did not think it wiser to require some period of engagement, but Scarlett smiled and said "I didn't need any, to give myself to you, no reason for me to impose something like that on her. No. She should start her life as soon as possible. She has been buried alive for three years now, more than I ever was."

"Will you regret marrying in my church?"

"You see, I knew it was _your_ church, and since I had given myself to you a year ago, as soon as I realized that it was yours, there was no other church for me. Even if it did mean that I couldn't get the comfort of absolution."

"Perhaps I can give you absolution?"

With that both burst to uncontrolled laughter. After the laughter concluded he held her closely and asked in a delicate way "Do you feel you have sinned?"

"Here's the thing, I need absolution because I don't. And I would have done it all again. Near Rough and Ready and when you returned. I would have even risked coming with child. And I just can't understand it."

"Scarlett, you sent a soldier to the battle with a reason to return alive. If that's a sin than very few sinner actually exist. Yes, we are selfish. Yes we are going to do what it takes to profit from the buildings of the South, but giving me your heart and body was the one selfless act you have done."

"Only at Rough and Ready, was I selfless."

"Oh?"

"When you came back, I wanted you more than I will ever care to admit."

"Why Mrs. Butler, are you a wanton woman?"

"Probably worse" she laughed nervously

"Well, I couldn't have asked for more."


	16. Chapter 16

Scarlett was rushing through a small market by the fisherman's wharf to buy some supplies for the ride back home. Rhett had taken them to see it, since they had some spare time before they should embark the train. He and Wade were giving the seagulls crumbs and throwing pebbles. It was his way of easing the separation from Careen who had married early in the morning and bade her farewell from them with the early boat down the Ashley River with her husband, promising to visit Tara in a fortnight so as to introduce her husband to her other sister and bid her father farewell.

Her face was still marked from the morning storm of tears caused by the sorrowful thought of Gerald's condition and her mother's premature death, thoughts inevitable as she gave her sister to her husband in the church in her parent's stand.

As she entered the bakery she noticed an argument by the cashier between an elderly customer and the baker. She only gathered parts of the words; however, she realized that the baker was refusing to put the man's bread on the tab. Without much thought she advanced and quietly told the baker that she was her aunt Eulalie's niece, and smiled at the elderly man saying that her aunt was most obliged to return his generosity and that it wouldn't have been a better moment to retaliate by covering the tab and the cost of the loaf he desired. The baker was about to retort something nasty when Scarlett took two golden coins from her purse asking with a flatter of her eyelashes "Would that be enough? This gentleman is owed more but that is all we can spare right now"

The baker seemed embarrassed, "No, it's much less, ma'am"

"Well, then put the rest for my aunt's tab. She does have one here, doesn't she?"

"Yes, why of course. Send her my warm regards."

Was it his white hair, so much like her father's or the fact that she had been crying her mother's early death since morning repeatedly, no matter how sweet her husband and son had been to her? She couldn't quite figure what had possessed her to help a complete stranger. The elderly person blinked a few times, realizing that she was keeping his pride intact he smiled gratefully uttering nothing. She realized that even if her mother was rolling in her grave due to her choice of husband, this action could be for her memory's sake.

As she was getting ready to step out of the place she heard a call "Ms. O'Hara."

She turned to see a tall man with features resembling as her husband's looking at her.

"That was mighty kind and considerate of you, in there."

"It's Mrs. Butler, sir, and it's nothing to write home about." After a pause she measured the man in front of her and asked "Could you be Rhett's brother?"

The man smiled and looked afar.

"Rhett is down at the wharf with my son."

"I'm afraid your husband will not be so keen to see me, Mrs. Butler."

Scarlet considered a thought as a picture of Suellen's face came to her mind –

"Your father tried to dissuade me from marrying your brother. Your mother was at our wedding for only a short while and your sister came for a brief visit during this week, a visit my husband cherished. He wouldn't let me criticize her for her fear from your father. " She saw his eyes lowered down, and she realized he might know all these facts, maybe more, so she added softly "He was probably right about it. But do you really think he embraces the role of the outcast your father has turned him to? Even after two decades?"

"I heard you saw all the possible goodness in my brother. But I am afraid I must insist. Not for my own good, but for his. I do not wish to burden his happiness with my unwelcomed presence."

"Dear Mother of God!" she whispered "You are his brother, for you are as dense as he can be at times! Do you really think that whatever happened or not happen a thousand years ago would matter? Do you really think he would hold a grudge? God's nightgown! A whole war had passed. It is a miracle that both of you are alive. Most families don't have that much for them."

A soft chuckle came from aside – they both turned to see Rhett with Wade happily on his shoulders "I believe my wife is right, Robert."

"At what?" asked Scarlett "That is, at what am I right? You surly aren't confessing to your brain's density, my love! Are you?"

Rhett's eyes shone with feeling as he looked at his brother but his wife's jest kept a smile at all faces "You are right that I won't hold a grudge to Robert for not disobeying our father. And yes, you are right that the Butler's are stubborn, a quality I would not call density considering it's one of your many lovely traits, my pet."

She frowned at the new form of endearment he had chosen but he drew her closer to him. Robert blinked, than, remembering himself he held out his hand. The two siblings did not talk, nor did they embrace each other. The hand-shake and the long look seemed more then each could hope for. Robert turned to Scarlett "I am glad to have met you, Mrs. Butler. I welcome you as my sister." With those simple words he let her feel a flood of emotion hidden within.

She couldn't help notice though that they were being watched, and she realized that these few actions and words may cost Robert reputation and standing. She wondered if he had what it took to stand the treatment she received during the war, while Rhett was not received in Atlanta and she along his side, being his friend.

"I never had a brother" She smiled, "I'll be proud to call you my brother."

With a tip of a hat he left. She embraced Rhett's arm, feeling his strained muscles.

Later in the train he was silent and aloof.

"Oh, Rhett, so many people are starving! Proud fools like your father and my silly aunt. Perhaps, I should have visited her after all."

He embraced her closely "I'm not sure she would accept you, my love. You see, you made a hell of choice in marrying me, as far as Charleston is concerned. Being married is one thing, demonstrating your happiness is unforgivable."

"Oh, I don't care. I have had enough! I won't pretend to care that you came back after dark more than a decade ago, or, as you so brilliantly said the day we first met, that you had the capacity to outdo her stupid brother in a duel you never initiated instead of letting him kill you. It's nonsense. Why, once I sprained my ankle and …" She stopped realizing her mistake.

"I heard you tell that story to Mrs. Wilkes. The picture of it was not a pleasant one."

"Would you add to the picture the fact that I was barely fourteen?"

The train was riding fast at that moment and she suddenly felt her fatigue. She leaned on him and whispered "You will have to keep me near you at all times, Rhett Butler, just in case I sprain my ankle again, for no one else will ever carry me again."

"How will you endure Atlanta, Scarlett?" His voice was low and he wouldn't let her doze off as she expected him to "I will have to travel up north pretty soon, and you will not come with me. It's going to be difficult. I will be able to take you with me to England in a few months, but at first you'll have to stay."

"For how long, will you be gone?"

"A month at first. After that, perhaps two or three weeks again."

She started arguing to no avail. After a while she turned her head and sulked.

"Could you do your business in Atlanta and come to Tara at the end of the week at least? I'll stay in Tara while you are away. In Atlanta I'll have Melly, but I'd hate to have to face that old witch Dolly Merriweather on a daily basis."

"You may stay in Tara while I travel. But once I'm through, you'll join me in Atlanta and will have to accept or shall I say adjust. I don't mind visits to the country, but our home will be in town."

The firmness of his tone surprised and scared her. She expected him to consider her more than that, but she held her tongue.

This time they had a private compartment and the train was direct to Atlanta with only a few stops on the way. Their compartment was small, but it held a bed and a small couch in which Wade was sleeping comfortably. Rhett thought her asleep when he drew the lines of her figure with his fingers thinking of his young brave wife and of the time it would take her to accept her difference from the surrounding society. It was at the same time that his wife wondered how he survived his solitude and how she would survive the same.

***Milady***

 _I know that we all wanted them as happy as possible, but Rhett did work with the Yankees right after the war, and he was the most famous social outcast during the end of the war. Besides he was always very decisive and not too considerate regarding the macro management of their lives…_

 _This social out-casting, is something I wish to explore a bit further._

 _As for the first part – she is supposed to be selfish, I know, but she did feed loads of soldiers, and even the convicts (in the book), so I suppose that it is likely for her to be kind to an old man resembling her father._


	17. Chapter 17

Scarlett found the plantation in much a better form then she had expected. Suellen, however, shed tears when she realized that Careen had gone and married. Scarlett wondered whether it had to do more with the fact that Careen married before she did, then with her loss. Yet she could not ignore the difference in the family meals each evening now that Melanie was in town with little Beau, and Careen gone. They had been a team. Like it or not, want it or not, they were. The team had shrunk by half in a week, Scarlett was married and Suellen seemed miserable.

They were having an afternoon tea on the porch, while Rhett went to check on the work done in their absence.

"How was Alex, Sue?"

"Oh, he was fine. He came every day twice, but Mr. Benteen did most of the work. Will knows how to run a farm. He's been teaching the new workers how to do their job, and instead of Alex supervising the work here, Alex came to take lessons from Will."

"Will?"

"Well, he asked me to call him that. He is nicer than Alex. Alex is bitter all the time"

Scarlet raised her brows.

"Did you put a flower in your hair?" She smiled

"Well, not for Alex, but it was a fine idea. You should do something about Prissy, though."

"What's wrong with Prissy?"

"Nothing is _wrong_ with her. But she's been _seeing_ a young man, one of the new workers your husband hired."

"Well, that is only natural, she is nearly eighteen."

"Do you really want her marrying? Where will you find another maid?"

"Sue, if Prissy marries I'll be happy for her. She had gone through hell with us, and never left. None of our neighbors were as lucky. Her life has been so hard till she came to Tara!"

"What's it to you? Darkies always have hard lives."

Scarlett pondered for a second, and then she spoke as quietly as a whisper "I don't ever want you to talk that way about Prissy or any of our servants. Pork risked his neck for us. He nearly got himself shot trying to find us food when you were too weak and ill to do anything useful. Dilcey slaved like me in every horrid work we had to do, and she nursed Beau; she could have refused to, leaving the job to me, since Melly had no milk, and I had stopped nursing only a few months back." Scarlett never shared the fact that she nursed a child who wasn't hers. In fact, her decision to nurse Wade was not accepted with ease at the time, let along continuing to do so more than two years.

After a short pause, she gave a piercing look at her sister and concluded -

"Prissy came with me on the wagon back from Atlanta when she could have fled with a load of darkies who did exactly that. And when you and I were splashing water in the pond or fighting over God knows what, she was being beaten by India Wilkes for daring to look at the horses in the stables."

Suellen lowered her gaze and murmured "You know I love Mammy and Pork. Pa's slaves were never beaten."

There was a long pause, then Suellen took some courage and spoke "That's one of the things I disliked about Alex, he keeps saying how the work will never be good if one can't beat them. How can he even dwell on the possibility of hitting a person?"

Scarlett took her sister's hand and squeezed it.

"Will says that hitting your worker is the best way to get your machinery broken."

"Well, now you know why Tara's cotton picking was never delayed as our neighbor's. Besides, I always hated India. I'm glad I stole her beau!"

"You stole, everybody's beaus, Scarlett. I say! You are more considerate to Prissy then you'd be to India or any other girl in the county. I know you convinced Pa to buy her along with Dilcey, though she's been rather useless most of the time. But I must agree that the thought of hitting Prissy! She was barely a child when Pa bought her, how could she?!"

"People are hateful. As for me being more considerate with our servants, I suppose it is only fitting, since they are kinder then any of those girls. Only Cathleen had the gut to help us when the Yankees came the second time. Anyway, forget Alex. Have you heard from good old Frank?"

Suellen smiled and blushed a bit "He came the other day just to bring me an engagement ring."

"Well, where is it?" Asked Scarlett, keen and a bit jealous that her sister would have an engagement ring, as she hadn't had one.

"I didn't take it."

"Oh?"

"I decided to risk my chances. I asked for more time. He is nice and kind, but, what you said…"

She stopped, but Scarlett understood.

"Rhett wants us to move to Atlanta." Scarlett finally spoke of what was bothering her.

"If you go to Atlanta, take me with you! I don't want to be left behind in some old farm!"

"Don't you love Tara? I don't want to go to Atlanta. Besides, what will happen with Pa?"

"Pa will be fine as long as he's with Pork and has his day schedule. Why don't you want to go to Atlanta? You loved it during the war."

"Well, at first it was fun. But after that I think I stayed because I loved Rhett; I hated the hospital though. You should thank the stars for not having to endure the misery I had to witness."

"Don't forget the dances, Scarlett, even if my vanity is incredibly flattered" – Rhett's voice came from behind.

"You shouldn't eavesdrop, Honey" smiled Scarlett at her husband "Besides, I simply said it because I felt your presence"

"You wound me, my dear" despite the tease in his voice he was tender.

Scarlett ignored him and asked "Would you like to go visit Melanie? I can spare you for a week or so, Atlanta may be vibrant and exciting for you."

"Well, no, not yet. Besides, I could die of boredom with Ashley. I never did understand what you saw…" She bit her tongue remembering the presence of her brother-in-law.

Rhett laughed, and Scarlett, rather irritated hit his arm as she gathered herself to leave the porch "Well, it is a miracle I did not die of boredom with all his poems and masses. I think I just had a good capacity of ignoring boring stuff, something I acquired back in Fayetteville. Thank Heavens you, Rhett, don't feel the urge to talk of ancient poems, even if you do know them and I don't."

She left the porch, and passed by the servant's quarters. She knocked on Pork and Dilcey's door. She had brought fabric from Atlanta on the way back for the coming winter. Last year they hardly had cloths to keep them warm. As Prissy answered the door, Scarlett remembered that Dilcey was her mother and smiled at her –

"I brought some fabric for winter clothes for all of us. I have some white linen as well. Perhaps you can make a petticoat?"

"Sure Ms. Scarlett, I can measure you tomorrow morning with proper light if you'd like."

"Not for me, for you. If I recall, you haven't had one, yet, and you are of age for a time now, and, well, we have the cloth…" she stuttered a bit.

The two looked one in each other's eye, the memory of the cow and Prissy's reaction to Scarlett suggesting she gave her the petticoat she never had, came to both. Prissy blinked away unexpected tears, then a wide grin overtook her face.

***Milady***

 _One of the amazing things I learned a few years ago is that even slaves had strikes! As Lord Denning put it in his words, which I don't quite recall "even a dog knows when he is intentionally stepped upon". So this chapter is a bit regarding the African-American, former slaves and their role in the plot. By the way, I rather loved Prissy in the movie, she is such a child …_


	18. Chapter 18

_For a few days, I was lost. But here's a new chapter._

They had been living in Atlanta for three weeks. After a month in Tara, upon his second return, Rhett insisted that they should move before his journey to the North, for reasons he did not care to share. He had bought a small yet comfortable house with a small stable and a large veranda near the outskirts of town. The house was freshly painted with cream a mint colored walls, had little furniture. Rhett made her goose-bumps when he whispered wickedly that the only important piece of furniture was there and was waiting for them upstairs. Indeed it was. It was the first time that she had a house of her own, and she was thrilled.

However, it didn't take long before she realized of the word that went around, that the Butler residence had been bought with Confederate money due to failure of taxes on behalf of its former owner. Scarlett was appalled at the accusations. Rhett instructed her to avoid any comment in the matter when she came one afternoon with cheeks flushed and a disturbed look on her face.

"Why do people have to be so hateful? We didn't kick anyone out of here, did we?"

"No, my dear. I am wounded you should think otherwise."

"Do stop laughing at me. You don't know how it's like for me"

His brow went up sarcastically.

"Well, maybe you do."

"The former resident was in lease. I've owned this place since early 1864. Scarlett, I told you there would be a toll to pay for marrying me, let alone wave it in the matron's faces as you have."

"I did not! And that is a fine 'thank you my wife for protecting me'"

"I don't need protection, my love, and neither do you. Though I have to say I was touched at the demonstration of loyalty your words displayed. Let them talk, it would enhance the credit I get in the bank until we travel to Liverpool"

"Will it really?" Her eyes were lit at the prospects of credit and cash flow.

"You do like money, don't you? Well, I forbid you to contradict any rumor regarding our fortune and our belongings. Never dispute on facts that you know are wrong, especially if it assists in glorifying the mystery surrounding you. Businesses, in fact economies, thrive on rumors."

However, with Rhett gone, she began to feel the loneliness of her social isolation. Only Miss Pitty and Melanie came to visit the house. None of the Old-Guard or the social circles she was part of before Atlanta's fall bothered to make the customary call on an acquaintance who had returned. For the time being Suellen was still in Tara and Scarlett found herself missing even her red-headed sister. She wouldn't visit Melanie's house in the afternoon, avoiding the presence of Ashley.

One especially cold day, at the market, she noticed that Mrs. Elsing crossed the road to the other side avoiding looking in her direction.

Scarlett found herself blinking away tears, strengthening her grip in Wade's hand, and lifting her chin up. A few steps ahead a man waved enthusiastically at her "Mrs. Butler, Ma'am, I sure am glad to see you here!"

"Sir, I do not recall we have met".

"I'm Samuel Springer, I was in your plantation a month ago, among other veterans. You cared for me for two weeks while I was down with a fever."

"Oh." Scarlett could not remember all the hundreds of veterans she had fed or nursed in the past year but she began remembering him. He had fallen on her porch one afternoon with terrible fever a few days after their return from Charleston. Mammy was sure he would not live the night, but after two weeks of bed and care he came out of it and left for Atlanta.

"I would like to call on you and your husband with my wife and express our eternal gratefulness. Would that be all right?"

"My husband is away, sir, on business. I expect him back in a fortnight or so. But there is no need for gratitude, we did what any Southern would do"

"Well, Ma'am, few did."

"I won't believe it, sir. You must have been misfortunate, for if that is true, then the Yankees had truly won the war." She answered with a rush of patriotism she could not explain to herself.

"Spoken like a true niece of mine!" Henry Hamilton was coming along the road with a wide smile on his face

"Uncle Henry!" Scarlett was truly happy to see her uncle by marriage "What excuse have you got for not calling on me and Wade yet?!"

The elder man moved a bit uneased and in a lower tone "I expect my sister is in your house each afternoon, isn't she?"

With a long laughter she promised him that she'd protect him if that would be the case.

The following day a young Mrs. Springler stood at her door with a chocolate cake. Touched Scarlett let her in and found her a pleasant amiable woman.

"Since my husband's return, I try to give at least one soldier a portion of our food. There are so many hungry folks out there. I never thought we'd be in need for others to care for Samuel, but as it was…"

"You needn't worry yourself about it. My husband came from the war and I know he was hosted by people like us. Your husband was misfortunate, apparently in his travel home."

Unintentionally and without much thought Scarlett offered to help with the food distribution. It wasn't long before Scarlett, with clenched teeth, found herself once again serving a long line of half-starved soldiers and widows each afternoon, sometimes wishing they would knock on some-one else's door.

One would think that this would make her position or reputation in a better place. Nonetheless, as far as rumors went, it was said that she was giving only crumbs from the Confederate money her husband had stolen.

Having promised Rhett as she had, and with her Irish pride, she decided to indeed not defy the rumors, quite the contrary.

***Milady***

"I would like three dresses from this cloth." Scarlett pointed at three roles of fine silk and taffeta in different shades of green.

Elisabeth Brown had been the seamstress of the entire Old-Guard for ages. She couldn't help but send her craved fingers to feel the cloth in front of her.

"I would like them ready as soon as possible. Please make them with extra care, with gloves to match and a bonnet as well for the light green one. We shall start fitting early next week, shall we not?"

Mrs. Brown shook her head enthusiastically thinking of the food this job would put on her starved table.

"Very well, I shall leave this for advance payment" She left some golden coins at the desk, causing the old lady to gasp and blink some tears away.

"And Mrs. Brown, if anyone asks you why you cannot make their orders, let them know it was on my account." She smiled at her sweetly, leaving no room for misunderstandings regarding the encouragement to create gossip.

Getting the hint, fully aware of the ban Scarlett was enduring, Mrs. Brown made sure that by the end of the day it was common knowledge that Scarlett had a whole new wardrobe in order. The rumors grew and by the end of the week, Prissy was happy to tell her mistress that according to Mrs. Bonnel's cook, she had ordered twenty dresses from several seamstresses.

"Twenty?!"

"Yes, Ms. Scarlett, she sure has told me twenty."

Scarlett laughed, "And what did you say?"

"Well, that you ordered jewelry from Paris France Ma'am!"

"Well done! They must be pea green with envy."

Truth be told, Scarlett had little time to be upset about her isolation. Mrs. Springer and a few friends of hers began calling on Scarlett, at first to help her with the daily feeding and then to introduce their children to Wade. They were not quite of the same circle Scarlett belonged to before the war, but they were educated and well-bread Southerners, and she found them pleasant. That with the fact that she never really enjoyed female company, Melany's excluded, left her quite content to a point that in her daily visits to the market she would raise her chin defiantly at the sight of any matron.

****Milady****

It was late in the evening. Rain was pouring outside when Scarlett heard a loud knock on the front door. She was startled to see a young wet boy at the front of the house.

"Are you lost?"

"Is this the Butler residence?"

"Yes. Have you a message for me? I am Mrs. Butler."

"Is Mr. Rhett Butler home?"

Annoyed at the young boy's insistence and lack of respect she snapped irritably "No, and would you introduce yourself, young man?"

The boy had a lost look in his face and his shoulders, that were struggling to stay up, fell down. Scarlett realized that he was heading to the stairs, and she left the thresh-hold seizing his arm "Come inside, young boy, if you are looking for my husband you can surely tell me who you are."

The boy raised his striking green eyes at her, not moving "I'm Robert Walter, your husband is my ward. I got a letter from my mother telling me that he survived the war and was living in Atlanta now. I just wanted to see him."

"And your mother, is…?"

"Anabelle Ruth Walter. She lives in San-Francisco."

Scarlett paled.

Realization hit her. Was there no end to the mysteries entailed with her husband? Rhett's napkin that Melanie had brought with Belle Watling's money flashed to her mind. A picture of Rhett with Wade as a baby followed. She gratefully concluded that with the boy's light hair and green eyes, her husband's dark eyes and hair and Belle's brown eyes; he couldn't possibly be Rhett's child. How she missed him at that moment. A far-away thunder woke her from her thoughts. The boy was dripping in front of her. Surprising herself she smiled -

"What are we doing here, Robert? We shall catch our death of cold here. Come inside. Rhett would be mad at me if I did not host you properly. Come."

Prissy found the boy some old garments of Rhett to wear till she washed and dried his only suit. He was 14 years old and had run from his boarding school outside of New-Orleans to come and visit Rhett when he realized that he had survived the war. The travel took him two weeks. Rhett has been his ward ever since he was a toddler. Half defiantly he stated that he would leave in the morning so as not to burden the house-hold with rumors, being a bastard.

Scarlett was stunned at the sound of the word. She watched him for a short moment, then took his small hand in hers-

"I'll tell you what we'll do. While you're here, you shall answer to the name Robert Gari, and you are half a cousin of mine from Savanah, on my French side. No one will ask questions. With the war and so many orphans, we can easily establish an imaginary relative for me. You came here to help with my son."

"I should leave, Mrs. Butler. You owe me nothing. All my life I've known that Rhett had been kind to my mother and me, but this would endanger his wife's reputation or his son's."

"Wade Hamilton is my late husband's child. As you see, you are not the only child Rhett is caring for, and as for your plan to leave - you will do no such thing. My reputation is for me to handle. I assure you that I am doing nothing my husband would disapprove of."

The boy bit his tongue, Scarlett softened at him "You must be starved, Prissy shall tend to you, and if you are pleasant enough with her, she would probably offer you some chocolate cake we have left and a glass of milk."

She stood to leave, but then turned back

"One more thing, Robert – Never refer to your-self as a bastard. You are a young gentleman, and my half cousin, as far as the world will be concerned from now on."

At her bed she kept thinking of the misfortune of the boy she found at her thresh-hold. What would she do about the child's mother was beyond her, for the time being.


	19. Chapter 19

**Thank you, Thank you, Thank you all those who R &R! It helps me keep going. Still have a few issues to address before I put my pen (or laptop) down. Keep writing and sharing your ideas. S.**

She woke hours before dawn, after a restless sleep. Her nightmare seemed to harass her more often as Rhett's absence prolonged. The thought of the boy in the next room and of his mother's institution down town bothered her. Robert's fragility and pride was evident. It took her ages to convince him to feel comfortable in the past two days. He wouldn't receive the cloths she had ordered for him, not even the socks. At the end of it she snapped and scolded him for being so stubborn. Being her husband's ward, she argued, granted her the right to see that he is dressed properly. She was overcome with compassion when she saw him blinking away tears.

She had to make sure that he did not find out about Belle Watling's presence. She decided that now was a good time as ever, perhaps even better than most hours of the day. She stood to dress, when an idea flashed in her head. Instead of her daily frock she headed toward Rhett's closet. It wasn't long when she was dressed like a man. She managed to flatten her breasts to a minimum. Than they saddled a horse and she took off riding with her legs spread. Oh! It felt so good to ride the horse without the pestering of the skirts

The street was nearly empty. She saw the few passers. She felt no fear despite the fact that she was a lonely white woman. The tall horse and the Panama hat she took made her feel invincible.

It was not too long before she came to the building down-town. She circled it and found another place to tie her horse. To her great dismay she found more than one horse tied to that place. The idea of running into someone was horrifying. She decided on changing tactics, and tied the horse at the front of the building. Lightly she stepped inside without knocking.

"Sir, we're closed." A young woman wearing the most revealing shinning attire addressed her.

Scarlett shrugged, the young woman noticed the features under the hat and gasped with horror. Scarlett whispered "I need to see Ms. Watling. It's urgent."

She was entered to a side room that seemed like an office of a man. The door was opened abruptly and the recently awaken Ms. Watling entered with the same girl she met at the front of the place. Belle's astonishment as she recognized the woman in front of her lasted but a few seconds.

"If you came searching for your husband, he ain't here. I can direct you to the other establishments Madam."

Scarlett rose to her feet with red cheeks and an urge to scratch the red headed woman in front of her.

"I wouldn't bother looking for my husband if he consorted out here, I dare say! " She was heading toward the door, cursing herself for the thought that she could talk to Rhett's friend, if you could call her that.

"Well, what's wrong? You haven't come here just to call on me, have you?" asked Ms. Watling with some alarm in her voice.

She decided to give it another go - "could we speak in private?"

"I don't see any call for that."

Scarlett bit her tongue to avoid snapping. Then she lift her chin and looking straight in Belle's eyes she steadily said "Suit yourself, it's about Ms. Walter's son. Ruth's. Care to reconsider?"

"Leave us alone" Belle uttered in a thin voice not her own. She stumbled towards a chair and sat with pail face.

Scarlett almost pitied the woman in front of her as she decided not to withhold the information, even if the latter had been rude with her.

"Robert is in my house. Two days now. He showed up at our door-step three nights ago, in the pouring rain. He had escaped school to come and see Rhett. When he told me his mother's real name, I realized… Well, that's why I'm here"

The woman in front of her almost fell from agony –

"I'm so stupid! God! I'm so stupid! Why did I have to write him where Rhett was?! It won't be so hard to know that Robert Walter is my son. It'll be his ruin!"

"He answers to the name Garie, as a distant cousin of mine from my French side. Robert Garie. These days it's not so difficult to invent orphan relations." Scarlett spoke her way dryly and without emotion, still upset about the former attitude - "He is a sweet boy, your son, proud and sweet. I forbade him to call himself a bastard, as he had. I just don't want him to…"

"Know his ma's a whore" Belle ended her sentence with bitterness, "I suppose you are right. And no one will care that I became one so as to keep him alive."

Scarlett lowered her head. She shocked Belle when she quizzed her hand.

"Any mother who does this should be proud".

Disbelieving she raised tearful eyes – "Would your ma be proud as to do so? Or if you did?"

"Well, no."

"Mine neither. In fact she kicked me out, the child being my elder cousin's."

"Oh!"

"Why you are such a baby!" Belle softened "Most of the girls under my roof are either raped by their some man, often by a kin like I was, alone in the world or desperate for some other reason. At least here I see to it that they aren't beaten as I had been more than once."

Scarlett was trying to absorb the truthful information Belle so easily put out but Belle did not give her much time -

"Why'd you do that?"

"Do What?"

"Risk your name for my son."

Scarlett laughed, but it wasn't a happy laughter, the resentment she felt came out for the first time since having spoken of it with her husband and sister -

"My name is in shatters as it is."

"Oh, I know you made folks mad at you during the war. It couldn't be that bad."

"I sent Mrs. Meriweather hell, telling her to mind her own business and that I'd marry Rhett even if fought on the Yankee side. She made sure no one would visit me when we returned."

"Dear God! How'd she know? Rhett surely hadn't told anyone when he was here in town. He was so secretive and sweet about it."

Scarlett eased. She realized Belle knew of their coming marriage, but for some odd reason, she rather found it endearing that Rhett had been secretive about it, even if he had visited Belle during his visit. She let her hair go and leaned backwards.

"Mr. Wilkes came to town earlier when we passed through Atlanta, and managed to spread the news. I think he wasn't all too pleased with the fact that I had fallen for Rhett."

Belle smiled "I'm glad you have. He loved you for the longest time. Than again, you were just a baby, even if you were with child."

Scarlett smiled proudly. She realized the oddity of the whole situation. Her mother was probably rolling in her grave -

"I like your son. He's sweet. Besides, he is Rhett's ward."

Belle swallowed hard "He was the only one willing to help me. Rhett, that is. When I was with child my parent's wanted me to, well, to be rid of it. Since I didn't I was thrown out. Rhett met me far in the West half-starved with a baby. I was already, well, working."

Scarlett closed her eyes for a brief second. She did not want to imagine her husband going to a whore, even if she was Wade's age at the time. But to her amazement a different picture came to her mind, a picture of a young girl, with a baby, working in something that she could hardly imagine. The thought of doing _it_ with several men, strangers, was revolting.

Belle looked at her and added - "He's my friend, Ms. Scarlett. I don't have many, in my line of work."

"Neither do I," Scarlett muttered in a low voice.

Belle looked at her all too knowingly but did not comment on her last remark.

"When Robbie was five or six I took him east, so that he'd get education, and so that I could have a different name, so I won't tarnish his. I met Rhett again, in New-Orleans this time, and he offered to be his ward. They wouldn't put a whore's son in any good school, but since Rhett was the ward, they did, even if he is a bastard. Well, half the kids there are."

Scarlett looked at the window; the first rays of dawn were emerging.

"I should go. I put on this costume to avoid, well – you know. If there is too much light I might be recognized, and I don't want anyone asking questions."

"Can I see him?"

A silence fell in the room.

"Wouldn't you prefer to see him when he's back in school?" Scarlett urged softly.

"They'd never let me in. I don't blame them."

"Good God!" Scarlett gasped

"Oh, I'd go to New-Orleans with Rhett and he'd take him out to the park. I'd just look at them from the far."

Scarlett realized that she had more respect to this woman in front of her then to most of the women she had met.

"Come to our soup-distribution. Come as help."

"You'll be ruined for good" she raised her eyes shocked at the thought "It wouldn't be proper, and, no – there is no way I'd jeopardize Rhett's wife or house-hold, besides I'll probably meet half of my clients standing in line in your back-yard. If you could just pass by, I'll look, he needn't know." She pleaded

"No. You should be able to talk to him. No one will know. Not even Rhett. Come with some wig or scarf to the kitchen as help. Prissy won't tell a living soul, and Ms. Watling, do come early, before ..."

"Oh, I know how to pass unnoticed, have had 15 years of experience with that. I only walk like this when I'm in a mood to spite. Why that awful lady Meriweather has sent her son in law to interest me with her pies. I make her send the wagon to the front of the building at noon every other day, and I take the goods personally"

Scarlett rose with some difficulty given the laughter she couldn't avoid, and put on the wide hat back again, shoving her hair under the hat and put on the long woolen coat. Belle looked at her appreciative -

"You're a hell of a lady, Mrs. Butler. I can see why you managed to capture his heart."

"Ask yourself how he managed to capture mine" she answered mischievously, "now get me out of here without any of the men you still have inside seeing me."

A second before heading back, on the horse she bent down and quietly said "Ms. Watling, you needn't mention Rhett with my visit or yours to our house. I have no idea how he'll take it – even if you are friends."

Belle smiled – "If anyone should call me by my name, it's you, and as for Rhett you may be more right then you imagine."

***Milady***

Belle came. Scarlett hardly recognized the woman with the black net and scarf covering the red hair. She was wearing a respectable grey frock, and looked all too mature to Scarlett with the small wrinkles surrounding her eyes. She introduced to Robert her as Ms. Ruth, and an 'old friend of the family', causing both Belle and Prissy to choke on that bit of introduction. Robert did not seem to notice, though, and he found the lady most agreeable. The day passed all too fast for Belle and too slow for Scarlett who worried the cover would be blown in her face. At five in the afternoon she relieved Prissy with some pocket money and poured herself tea. She was congratulating herself that the day was over as she heard the front door open. Jumping to her feet grabbing the pistol from the drawer, she headed to the door when a wide panama hat and even wider shoulders greeted her.

"Darling!" she exclaimed, forgetting that she was holding a pistol and flying to his embrace.

His eyes were inquisitive as he moved the pistol aside. They did not manage to exchange a word when Wade's call came – "Uncle Rhett's here." The toddler headed toward the stairs dragging Robert by the hand. Rhett's alarmed gaze shifted in a second to a look of sheer joy as he held his wife tightly.

"Wade, let your father rest a second before you jump on him" she scolded her son with a tone none took as serious. Rhett raised the boy to his chest as he embraced Robert with his other hand.

"So, you've met my wife, Robert, son"

Robert looked pitiful when he whispered "Ma wrote you were alive and in Atlanta. I just had to see for myself."

Rhett embraced him while his eyes were kept on his wife.

***Milady***


	20. Home Sweet Home 1

_My family came from across the ocean for the holidays and I've been caught up in reading some wonderful FF…_

 _****Milady****_

She let Robert enfold the tale. For all the boy knew, Scarlett never knew his mother, and he neglected to share the part of him saying her name. Throughout dinner, Rhett's expression kept all feelings well underneath the surface. He kept his eyes on her. His brows almost jumped off his forehead when he realized their back yard had become the feeding post for veterans and widows, as Robert and Wade proudly explained.

She was silent, the fatigue that she felt seconds before he entered the house gave her a detached look. She allowed both Wade and Robert take possession over Rhett's attention, though she never left their side. A while later she remembered there was no Prissy to tuck the boys in, and she started the ritual. For all her annoyance both Wade and Robert pulled a shared resistance, which turned to a sniff from Wade and a pleading look from Robert as Scarlett's patience grew thin.

"Stop fussing the two of you and go to bed. Father will still be here in the morning!" she snapped as the three of them stared at her slip of tongue,

"Well, Wade, he is your father being my husband, and since Robert is a second cousin of mine, it's Uncle for you."

"Say what?!" The utter awe was evident in Rhett's voice.

Scarlett threw a warning look signaling toward Wade's squirming body.

"Darling, you have just gained the grand honor of telling Wade a bed-time story and relieving me to fix us the tea pot."

"Hurray! Uncle Rh… Father is the best story teller in the whole South." Peeped Wade, dragging Robert toward the nursery they had shared the past few nights.

****Milady****

As the doors were closed behind them he looked down at her eyes – "You gave him your name."

"Walter is a bit problematic of a name given your known association with a certain red-headed lady, don't you think? He said she is in San Francisco. He knows he doesn't have a father, he doesn't know of his mother's, well, of her."

He did not seem embarrassed, and merely asked with inquisitive eyes-

"How long have you known?"

For some reason she felt embarrassed – "Remember a time that Aunt Pitty said I had a headache, we made a huge turkey?" He nodded.

"I never have headaches. At least if I'm not starved or pregnant, I don't. She gave Melly money for the hospital in your handkerchief."

"Are you angry with me?"

"For giving a child some protection? No. If anything, I love you more, if that is possible. He was about to go marching back to the rain when I told him you weren't here, after two weeks of journey. At the time I cried half the afternoon. To be frank, I found it difficult to explain to myself why I cared so much at the time."

"You wouldn't come down, and then for a while you wouldn't look me in the eyes."

"I was embarrassed"

He sighed. After a while she added with a wandering gaze "Garie has a nice French sound – don't you think? Yesterday we went calling for the first time on Aunt Pitty and I embarrassed Ashley enough to concur that he remembered both him and his deceased parents from when he met my Savanah relatives."

It did not escape Rhett that she did not refer to Belle as "a creature". Nor did the smug look on her face as she described how she used Ashley's gentlemanly upbringing to her aid in the matter. He eased on the settee taking her in his arms chuckling softly.

"I really don't see anything funny about it."

"Don't you? Well, I differ, especially given our first encounter." His composure became serious – "Are you sure, though?"

"Sure I'm sure. Why must you talk in riddles? Besides, why do you keep bringing that day at Twelve Oaks? It was five years ago. Aren't we passed that?" She sounded annoyed.

"Belle once told me that you crossed a muddy road just as to not be on the same side of the street with her. She claimed you were just like everyone else. And here you are. Hosting her son, giving him your name, and not from the Irish side but from your aristocratic side. I wonder how your aunt Pauline would take it. Are you sure you are up to this?"

Scarlett blanched – "I haven't thought of that. Dear Lord. If anyone finds out, Robert will be ruined. I should write her something just in case."

He laughed and drew her closer to him.

"Robert? Not you?"

"Oh. I don't care. The only 'decent folks' visiting me these days are Uncle Henry, Aunt Pitty and Melly. How worse could they get? I chose my side and I wish to God that all those self-righteous 'ladies' drown in mud while they cross the road so as not to greet me."

She felt him stiffen –

"Who crossed the road?"

"Mrs. Elsing, as far as I noticed. I was with Wade."

As the silence grew, she turned to caress his weary face -

"I'm fine. The only thing not fine is you being away for so long." She turned to face him and pushed herself closer to him and yawned "I'm so tired. It seems I haven't had a decent night sleep since you left." She took his hand.

"As much as I hate it I will have to leave you for a short while."

She knew he would. She kept her visit to Belle to herself not knowing how he'd take it.

"Scarlett, we've been friends over thirteen years, Belle and I. She knew me when I had little more than the shirt on my back." He saw no reaction from her. She knew he was going to go there, and yet the thought of her husband going there was appalling.

"Can't you send her a note with someone else? Or wait for tomorrow?"

"I can't. She should lay low for a while, perhaps leave town at least until we find Robert a new school. The sooner I get to it the better. She will have to leave instructions and manage the…" She interrupted him -

"You talk as if you are involved in her business" she remarked looking at him suspiciously.

He seemed detached when nonchalantly he grazed her cheek with his thumb and said "Not really, though I own the building."

She became quiet as she calculated the meaning of his words.

"You, no, let me rephrase – we own an institution of ill-repute?! Dear Lord, poor Ma rolls in her grave." Her eyes were wide with horror and she moved away from him.

"I do not own the institution. I own the building, as I own this house and a few more in this city, in New-Orleans, Richmond, New-York and Liverpool. Belle runs a decent place for her girls."

"It's one thing to help her with her child, but with the place? How can you? Some of those girls are barely women!" the look of disgust was evident in her features.

"Prostitution existed in the time of the Bible and before, but her house is at least a place where they don't get bitten or worse."

"Oh, Don't you go and make it sound like charity! It's vile. When you offered me to be your mistress on Aunt Pitty's porch were you planning to pay me for my services? I never stopped to think, …"

"Stop it." He shook her "You know that if you took me on that offer I would have been your _lover_ as much as you were mine. Besides, I was toying with you. You were planning on extracting a declaration of love from me while you were still infatuated with another man. I am a silent partner, have been for years. Belle is discreet, and… "

"Rhett, she gave Melly your hanky!"

He shrugged, "I suppose she did it on purpose to annoy you. She was well aware that I was in love with you and that you were not returning my affections in the same way, or in the way I wanted you to, at the time. She was just my friend."

She did not turn to him for a while when she realized he was no longer next to her. She looked hesitant and saw him by the door wrapping himself with the same coat she took the night before.

"It has you fragrance" he commented.

She did not bother reacting knowing it was true. If she hadn't been so infuriated at the moment she would have told him some sweet lie of her missing him so much that she slept with it, or something of the sort.

When he was by the door, pulling some long hairs from the hat he was wearing and giving her a puzzled look she turned to him and said quietly -"Give it to her."

"What?"

"Let her buy it, or just give it to her."

"I will not let my wife dictate my businesses, you are overstepping my dear. I won't be long." And with no other words he left.

She was staring at the door feeling as if someone had struck her. She knew that Rhett would not be dictated, but her mind was exploding with fury. Without much thought her hand went towards the crystal ashtray and she threw it with all her might to the door.

*****Milady*****

 _If my husband had come after two months of absence and gone to his whore friend I wouldn't have been on the understanding side_


	21. Just a common girl talk

He heard the blast behind the closed doors. He realized she must have thrown something in her fit of fury. For a minute he contemplated whether to go back inside and try to sooth her, but he withdrew that notion pretty fast. She was his wife. Yes, he loved her, desired her even admired her. Yet, he was his own man 'I suppose that's why I kept saying I'm not a marrying man' he thought without amusement as he mounted his horse. The ride to Belle's lasted only a few minutes. He dropped the horse at Moses's hands in the front. Thinking for a minute he said "Put him in the stables and bring him to me when I leave, though I won't be long."

The room was lit and the music was running. Business was blooming. They caught each other in the eye, and to his surprise she left the premise to the office. His office.

"No hello darling?" He joked with no genuine mirth, as she kept quiet.

"You is a married man now, Rhett. Didn't come to see me two months ago when you moved to town, only sent for the rent and profits."

" I wouldn't have come tonight either, but your son came looking for me and he's at my home. Scarlett realized he was yours. She's spreading a word that he is the orphan child of some French cousin of hers she invented.

She was with his back to him. He was surprised at her lack of reaction. Finally she turned around –

"It was my fault he came. I wrote you were back from the war to Atlanta."

He looked at her, she looked so much older and wearier than ever before.

"Belle, he doesn't know you're here."

"I reckon he don't. Well, I'll lay low for a while. Let me know when he's leaving. Are you going to send him to the same school?"

Baffled at the fact that she did not ask to see Robert, he became suspicious –

"I don't know yet. Scarlett seems to like him. She put him in the nursery with her son."

"Well, if he stays, let me know. I'll shut down and move to Marietta or back to New Orleans".

"I can't believe your wife would be so kind to my child. You talked of her as if she were this spoiled brat, well, most of the time."

"She was. But she's always had a rebel in her. Nevertheless, she nearly had a fit when I told her I was the owner of this building, and left to see you."

"Rhett, why'd you tell her? What for? She's been nothing but kind to Roby. I couldn't have prayed for more had I prayed. She hates me, hated at least, and probably now even more, it will come out on him."

He paused. She looked at him with pain and distress.

"I don't think she hates you. She hates this." He looked up and down the building.

"Well, that makes two of us" she laughed sarcastically.

Rhett grew silent.

"Don't you think I hate this establishment? Sure, I'm grateful that I'm the madam and not a common girl; that I don't have to yield to every request of a client. No, I got girls to do that for me, don't I? But I was there. Hell, I'm still here. If I hadn't had Roby, I would have found a job as a maid up north, maybe found a man. I'm not sorry for this, it keeps him fed and educated, but…"

"I didn't think she'd mind."

"Are you insane?!" her voice was loud for a second.

"She wants me to sell it to you, even give it to you."

"What will you do?" There was no sign of emotion in her question. He realized she would evacuate herself if needed for her son's sake.

"I have no idea. Coming to think of it it's odd she did not insist I threw you out."

"Perhaps she's kinder than you gave her credit for. I know I will never be able to thank her enough. Honey, don't get me wrong. You've been my private angel in the hell I've been living these past fifteen years. But sure your wife minds. She's your woman and a _lady_. Any woman would be jealous. Heaven's – she gave _my boy her_ name. Clients talk, you know. No one does what she does with the food thing; none of the ladies of this city." She almost spat at the word ladies. "Why'd you marry her Rhett?"

Rhett kept silent

"You've been with no family for almost twenty years now Honey. I've known you a bit more than half the time. You may not think it's wrong to share this business with me, but don't you see how something like this would disgust a child who's never left her home? I know she's been married before even had a child, you told me, but she's still a baby who saw none of the things you and I saw. Would you like her to be coming here, it being part of your property? She the hollow eyes of my girls? The bruises? The alcohol they pour down their throats to forget, to be able to laugh and smile. I can just imagine us all standing for the land-lady's honor. Me offering her a drink and telling her who you liked best and what you like best, or perhaps show her some of the…"

"Shut up Belle or I'll …"

"Don't you be giving me that look. How could you think she wouldn't mind? You married a _lady_ , Love, and an unusual one."

His eyes narrowed, has she gone too far, she wondered, nevertheless she was always a better poker player then him.

Rhett moved uneased "You know I can't sell this complex, it's not only this house. I'd give it to you, but…"

"I owe you enough. Well, make something up. I'll spread any rumor you want me to"

He was still standing -

"I know I'm just a common girl, but hear me out. You got something I'll never have. Don't ruin it. Go on home to your wife, Rhett. Hug my son for me. I don't want to see him while he's here. Maybe someday I can return from San-Francisco and… Go on Darlin', go to that dame you tricked into loving you."

"And Rhett – "

"What?"

"Grovel my dear. Anything else won't do."

"I'm not sure how it's done" he laughed. She joined him –

"You're a fast learner" with a raised brow she added "I can testify for that". She turned, and with a sway of hips she left the room.

****Milady****

 **For all those who read and reviewed thank you so much. I'm still thinking - how long should Scarlett give him a cold cheek? After two months of absence? Here's the thing, I never felt at ease with the forgiveness society granted men for visiting "sporting houses" "cabarets" etc. It was part of common male 'culture' until war world II. I can't see Rhett refraining from visiting the place, so what will it be?**


	22. Grovel?

She was lost in her thoughts for seconds that seemed like hours. It was Prissy's gasp that made her look up. She didn't bother blinking back the tears. She turned her back and silently left Prissy to clean up the million pieces of glass from the floor.  
Her mouth was dry, pierced tightly. What had she done wrong? The injustice of the whole situation made her eye palpitate. She felt like a blood vessel in her head would burst.

By the time she reached the second story, her face was wet with tears and her body shaking. From the triumphant emotion she had felt at the beginning of the afternoon, the utter joy at his arrival, to a pit of fury and self-pity. She sat on the edge of  
her bed, their bed. The room seemed alien to her for a minute. The sight of a picture they took just before returning from Charleston brought her tears to an end. There they were, both with radiant eyes. That morning he had told her that he always  
planned on marrying her if she would only show him some indication that she was not indifferent to him.

Prissy entered and automatically she rose to let her aid her undress. After a second or so she turned "Prissy, I'm fine. I'll stay dressed for a while."

In a gesture too familiar with her from Mammy, she patted her on the shoulder. Prissy had no idea what caused the ruckus but she knew her mistress's hot temper. Having been absent the entire afternoon from the house she was unaware of Rhett's return and  
innocently said –

"Don'tu worry Ms. Scarlett. You Husband be sure back in a few days from up North and he be with ya in no time"

At that Scarlett's flood of tears emerged once again and she whispered –

"He's back."

Prissy looked at her and lowered her eyes for a second –

"My Ma always has her quarrels with Pork, you know she's thrown ma real pa out the door years back, cause he hit her too hard, don't ya know dat? Well nothin' can be dat bad, can it?" After a second she paled, despite her dark complexion, "He'd knows  
about Ms. Belle being…"

"No. And please, don't talk of it."

"Ya knows I won't" answered Prissy with insult.

Scarlett held back her tears and patted Prissy on her arm "I know, Prissy darling."

"Don't ya Prissy darling me, now you go on down ta kitchen with me and we put some cucumbers on those puffy eyes of yours, and maybe some tea, if they still red. Ma says no man should know he made his girl sad. Makes'em too cocky."

A while later she dismissed Prissy, telling her she'd manage on her own.

Thoughts were racing in her head. He said he won't be long. What is not long for a man who explicitly said he won't be listening to his wife while he's in a sporting house? The thought of their argument was like a thunder in the back of her mind. She  
thought of Belle. Up till three nights ago she hated and despised that woman. The story Belle told her of her pregnancy and reasons for her being a whore made her shiver. Would she have gone that far for her Wade? The stern look of gratitude when  
she left in the early afternoon back home. A picture of her husband came to her mind. How she missed him! Yet, the thought of him receiving money from that place, even if he owned the land, gave her nausea "I won't think about this now, if I do, I'll  
go crazy ' she thought 'But I can't not think about it! Oh why is it right for a husband to be the lord of house?' For the first time she thought it would have been better to be a lover and not a wife. Though the good Lord must not like that, she  
thought of her vow to be obedient.

Once again she started undressing when a particular persistent string got tangled, she pulled impatiently and heard the sound of the cloth tear. She cursed quietly damning her vow of obedience matrimony and all men.

"Darling, no need to talk in such a manner" the familiar amused tone stung her but before she knew it he was gently unfastening her from the suffocating cages "I would have loved for you to consider being my lover, but for the first time I think that  
your insistence on the church was rather beneficial".

Her mind started in turmoil. He'd been gone less than an hour. Silently she thanked Prissy for making her eyes look relatively white again and raised her chin at the thought. He noticed the change in her posture, realizing he would indeed have to think  
of a way to sooth her feathers.

She let him help her without a word, refraining from answering his tease. Once done, she gathered her nightgown from under the pillow and without a single look, she had gone behind the wooden screen that so far served as an ornament; 'see if you're so  
entertained now, Rhett Butler', she thought as her lips curved involuntarily upwards.

She didn't see his careful gaze, nor did she notice his tight fists for she left the screen, still avoiding his eyes and lowered the lights without asking his permission.

"I suppose I deserve that. Would you like me to undress behind the screen too?"

She did not answer.

"I'll take that as a no, though I would like to know how long you intend not to speak with me."

She kept still, though she wanted to yell at him, scream from the top of her lunges till she grew hoarse or he deaf, perhaps both.

"You know, this situation has some merits, I get to decide what you want and you can't complain for mistaking in the interpretation of your intensions, though I promise that if you talk I'll try to consider whatever you ask."

That was the last straw, and rising from the bed with flushed cheeks she railed at him "I don't believe you. You're nothing but a cad. How dare you act as if you consider my wishes and emotions when you just, well you are just like all the other married  
men. You talk of not caring about propriety but God forbid if your wife has a mind of her own or a desire that does not amount to cloths or flowers" She pilling pillows in the middle of the bed.

All the humor was lost in his tone despite the comical picture she made with the barricade of pillows she was holding, when he told her "I'm sorry for this evening. I upset you while you deserved more admiration and affection than I can ever express to  
you."

"Oh." Was he really apologizing? Disarmed, the eyes she so carefully tried to dry and ease, began shedding new tears.

He entered their bed "May I move these pillows and hold my wife? Tell her how I missed her? How I love her?"

She closed her eyes and made no move to hold the pillow tower, letting him shove it behind them. His body radiated the comforting warmth and smells that she craved for during the past eight weeks. She inhaled him lengthily with her eyes closed, her mouth  
still shut.

"I missed you" he murmured as he inhaled her. She was not responding, "Scarlett, won't you talk to me?"

"Of what, Rhett? You said that I couldn't dictate anything. So, I am under the impression that despite my feelings about the matter, we will still be having money earned from the work, if you can call it that, of those poor girls."

He breathed deeply –

"A year ago I would have expected you to hate the girls. You changed."

She swallowed and forced her eyes to stop crying - "Rhett, the entire old guard is judging me for loving you. If they knew just how much I loved you, even before you made me legally yours to love, they would have taken it further to shunning Wade and  
any child that we'll be having. I can't judge those girls. I won't. I don't care what you think but I know how dreadful it is to let a man you're wed to enter your body when there is no love in the matter, let alone attraction. I can't bear the thought  
of…" She stopped breathing.

"Honey, I gave Belle the place, well, she never agreed to receive support, as a friend. We are that. Years. She's the one deciding how much rent or profit I get" He could feel her tense.

"Profit? The thought that the money you gave me for Tara, for us may have come from that is revolting. Don't misunderstand, I'm grateful, you put food on our table, and I would have taken it, but…"

He was beginning to lose patience "Look, I can't sell it to her, or give it to her, because it's part of a big lot that can't be divided. Would you like me to tell her she's got a month to find a new place?"

It took her a second but he heard her – "No."

She turned her back to him, still within his embrace.

He decided to risk his luck – "Why? Why all the sudden kindness to Belle? Don't tell me that it's for Robert's sake."

Dear God, here he goes, she thought, thank Goodness for the dark, she decided to attack -

"I don't need to answer that question. You are the one who has a business with a whore, not me. Would you like me to be mean and shout at you that you should kick her out? Would you kick her out? You say she is your friend. Would you kick your friend  
and the mother of your ward out the door to please me? If you're half the man you claim to be, you'd send me to Halifax singing before you do any of that."

"You haven't answered my question, but you are right. I wouldn't, and I knew you wouldn't ask for it. The question is why."

I will not answer that, she thought, "If I choose not to be extra mean, it's nothing to you. It's still revolting." To emphasize she left his arms and rolled to her side.

"You say it's revolting. Scarlett, am I revolting to you now?"

'Lord in Heaven, please help me. How can I get away with this?' desperately she moved back to his arms. He did not move, nor did he hug her this time.

"Don't play with me, Scarlett." He sounded detached.

"You can never be revolting to me. You ought to have realized that," she decided to let him know part of the truth – "I don't know why I pity her so. Perhaps it's because I see her son. I admire the fact that she'd do anything for her son, Perhaps it's  
because of you. I loath the fact that you have a whore friend, I know that you had women before me…" She laughed unpleasantly "can I help the fact that I dislike that thought? Seeing how old Robert is hints that she's been there while I was still  
breaking Sue's dolls, wasn't she? He would have been the same age as one of the stillborn that my mother had. She had three, you know? But I just don't want us using money that was paid to those girls, even to her for, well – you know. Tell me, you'd  
know the answer, do they have to take old men? Young boys like Charlie with no, well, no ability? Married men? Ugly ones?"

"Stop it." His voice was firm –

"Well, as for your other question, you are anything but revolting." After a silence she whispered "I used to cross the street to the other side when I saw her, during the war, even a month ago, I would have – had I seen her. Now I feel ashamed."

"You're not embarrassed that ladies cross the street on your account?"

"SHE knows that? She shouldn't have told you that."

"Yes, Belle knows just about anything that happens in this city. Men are much more talkative then women give them credit for, especially when drunk or loose. Are you?"

"Embarrassed? No. I never did anything to any of them. Back in Clayton County I took all the girl's beaus, as a sport, just because I could." They both started laughing –

"I remember you the first time I saw you, what a picture you made!"

"That's beside the point," she laughed, happy that he wasn't so stern anymore –"here, I did nothing wrong to any of them, and yet they judge me. Even during the war, the fact that I chose to be seen with you. But I don't want to think of that now. To  
be frank, Rhett? I miss some of the work I had in Tara. I'm bored."

"Oh? I suppose I can interest you with some fine activities."

"You know perfectly well that's not what I meant. Besides, I'm still mad at you."

"And here I thought I was saved from further groveling." He sighed.

"You call what you did in the past hour groveling?" She couldn't hold back anymore "I broke a huge ashtray on your account! And you think you groveled? You are despicable." She managed to say it with some indignation –

He kept roaring with laughter.

"Besides, we haven't settled the matter of that place, yet." She said quietly. She wasn't going to give up.

Breathing deeply he brought her closer to his chest – "Could we not settle it tonight?"

Her answer was a soft kiss on his lips. Yet to his surprise she rolled again, and cuddled with her back to him – "Sleep on it my love."

"Do I get another good-night kiss, at least?" his voice did not suppress the laughter.

Wasn't he ever going to be serious? She was all resolved at keeping her poise, so she turned back to give him another peck when he rolled her as if she were a child on top of him. "Now, where is my kiss?" he whispered while his warm hands roamed under  
the light cloth of her night attire.

She shivered, "You're not being fair. You can't just do that while I'm trying to …" she was again at a loss of words.

"Trying what? Pray tell me Mrs. Butler." His eyes were dancing with mirth.

She knew he was teasing her, he knew exactly what she was trying to do, and her body betrayed her, reacting to his hands like a thirst man drinking water for his life. Her head was still heavy from her tears, 'I won't think about it now, I'll think about  
it tomorrow' she decided and bent to kiss her husband.

"Lord, how I missed your taste" he whispered as he rolled her under him kissing her salty eyelids and following the tracks that her last tears had left. She didn't know if it was the fact that for once she was somewhat reserved, but he went out of his  
way to bring her to pleasure. At the climax of their lovemaking she caressed his face gently, opening her eyes thus causing him to lose all restraint for the first time.

He was still breathing heavily when he moved to his side of the bed, taking her gently in his arms –

"I'm sorry" he said.

"Hush, I missed you like crazy," giggling she added "I missed this like crazy too."

****Milady****

 _Scarlett never could resist Rhett physically once he had decided to kiss her. Even in Rough and Ready in the book, she answered his advances with passion. I can't imagine her not yielding if Rhett wasn't such a stubborn fool most of their marriage. As always I'm refraining from being too graphic, though I really enjoy scenes written by others, I find it to restraining for one's imagination to get down to the details. Thank you all those who R &R_


	23. Sunny days

**It's been a long time since I last updated. Not sure if it's two more chapters, or more. P &R… Some M part at the beginning, you can skip it if you'd like, after the first part it becomes decent… Enjoy and R&R.**

The following morning came with the sun shining above one muddy Atlanta. Scarlett woke feeling her swollen eyes from yesterday's tears. Her husband's arms were wrapped around her naked form. She remembered the previous night and the conflict with Rhett and it caused her to stiffen.

"Don't" came a sleepy murmur from besides her.

"What?"

"Don't sulk at me. I promise to find a way out of this mess, just give me some time. I admit, I never felt as badly as you pointed out you feel about prostitution, but I am willing to respect your sentiments."

She gasped at the sound of the word prostitution, and was even more breathless when she heard his conclusion. He was changing his mind for her sake. His hand was strolling on her body, fondling the waves of her form. She drifted off, allowing herself to forget the time or the fact that it was in fact morning.

It was odd making love as the room was lit with the bright sun. She noticed his strong muscles contract as he thrust himself inside her, from the long mirror on the side, and the picture alone made her moan with fervor at his mouth. He noticed her gaze and slowly moved his head toward the mirror – "You like what you see?"

She blushed, but he merely laughed and positioned them in a way that she could take a better look at themselves making love –

"What is it that you see, my love, that makes you so wet for me" he whispered as he raised her leg upwards and kept a regular rhythm.

"Is it the way that I suck your nipples?" and with that he began to pull her nipples with his teasing teeth, "Or is it the way that I move inside you?"

Scarlett felt herself reach her peak in seconds, but he liked her new found boldness that he did not stop there. Instead he reached with his face toward her between her legs and began tasting her, pulling her legs apart. "Watch, watch as I taste you, my love." For long tormenting tantalizing moments he toyed with her intimate parts, causing her to lose all control and beg for him to enter, and as he repositioned himself inside her he was shocked to hear her actually answering him –

"I love the way your buttocks move. I love the way you touch my breasts with your hand and mouth."

"Scarlett, you are killing me."

"I love the color of your skin against mine" it made him look in the mirror, and indeed it was beautiful. Her skin was pale and shining against his swarthy skin, and the movement of their bodies was exquisite. She once again lift her leg upwards, making him hold it, as he had done earlier, creating a more daring picture of them in the mirror, Rhett now was hypnotized to watch as he kept his growing paste with her "I think of you inside me" she moaned, and with those words, once again he lost all control and found himself filling her with his semen.

A while later the covers were off of her and Rhett was standing in the middle of the room dressing himself, leaving her to wonder as to what to do. She paused a moment too long for she noticed the mischief in his eyes as he said – "You do know that if you stay like this I will have to undress myself, don't you? Get up, you said you were bored."

She was intrigued when she rose slowly from their bed "You could have warned me before you jumped out of bed" she pouted.

"You are not very attractive when you complain, my love" was his answer with a crooked smile, "come, and wear something nice for my sake."

She smiled, more than happy to oblige.

***Milady***

An hour later she was sitting at the morning table with her hair arranged in a plated flattering form upwards, and a green taffeta bow interwoven in it.

"What do Wade and Robert do during the day?" asked Rhett as he read the morning paper and drank his coffee.

"It's only been a few days with Robert. Sometimes Wade plays with the children of new people I met, and basically he is with me. We give a bowl of soup every afternoon here to veterans and widows…"

She stopped talking as his hand took hers for a fast kiss – "We'll have to find a tutor, Scarlett, four or five hours a day for Robert and for Wade as well. As for the food distribution, we'll bring Prissy some help. I need you with me at the bank."

They had taken a forty year old lady by the name of Mrs. Hannes as a tutor. She had received her education in the first Georgian university for women and had lost her husband and eldest son in the war. Scarlett arranged for her a quarter, roomy enough for her and her daughter and Mrs. Hannes was more than content with her new post at the Butler residence. They had even gone to Tara two weekends during that month to find a much courted Auntie Sue.

Little did she know how different her life would be from that day. Step by step her husband introduced her to his businesses. She was learning accounting, banking and economics from him and from the clerks in the bank who found the green-eyed Mrs. Butler a keen student to anything numbers and money oriented.

She found that Rhett's eyes gave her a far more satisfying admiration when she reflected on the various themes he had her handling. Hence, she found his vast knowledge and confident manners to be enticing. The fact that she was near him most of her day was agreeable to her, and pretty soon she found that the lack of a sewing circle less bothering.

One afternoon they were driving home in the carriage and Uncle Henry stopped them –

"I hardly see your wife these days, Captain Butler."

"She is my best helpmate" smiled Rhett at him "She could see you more often if you were inclined to help her study the field of freight and shipping contracts."

Henry looked at the couple for a second, and his eyes lit –

"I'd like nothing more than that. I will come to your office in the bank tomorrow, we can start tomorrow."

The following day as the aging attorney and Scarlett made a short break, he smiled at her kindly and offered "I never knew why Charlie chose you, but I dare say that you are a lot more than a pretty face; I'm not sure Charlie would have liked it, had he lived the war, but for myself I can say that if I had been fortunate enough to meet a girl like you in my time, I might have been less of the sworn bachelor that I am. I'm glad your husband encourages your integration in his business. It would be a shame to waste that head on sewing or gossip."

Scarlett blushed at the complement but did not miss the chance to bat her eyelashes and scold him "You'll have me thinking that I lost my charm, Uncle."

"Not in the least" she heard her husband from the door, "stop searching for compliments my vein love, you've received more than enough."

"No I did not!" she answered.

Indeed, she loved her time in the bank. She found that Rhett was like a magnet to her. She never tired his company, and was thrilled of his stolen caresses during the day.

At about this time Scarlett realized that she was with child. She barely remembered her pregnancy with wade four and a half years before and she dreaded telling Rhett. She was scared that he would make the journey to England, due for the next week, on his own. However, the pregnancy did make her more than edgy and prone to severe bursts of anger for no reason. On one of these occasions she found herself crying over some criticism Rhett had regarding a ledger she worked on, only to start screaming at him, in front of others that it was all his fault not giving her the receipts in a more neat form. He gave her a cold cheek after that for three days.

After that she kept to the house excusing herself on account of preparations towards their departure to Europe. They were to go on their own, and Sue was to come and stay with the boys for a month.

They drive to Savanah was done in silence. Scarlett dozed off at the first move of the train, so different from the woman he took a few months before to marry. On the boat, however, as she did not cease vomiting each morning, she realized that she could no longer, and in fact should no longer conceal her condition.

"Darling – I was sure you'd love the sea." He said on their third morning in the boat, as he saw his green faced wife fail miserably to conceal her poor state "Not only are you of bad temper these last few weeks you are now suffering from sea sickness?!".

It made her mad that he'd tease her when she felt so poorly. Yes, she intended to announce her pregnancy in a different form but being constantly agitated, tired and nauseous, with a jeering husband on the side, she couldn't avoid answering -

"I love it. If you had more sense you'd notice that last night despite the storm I was fine. Unfortunately your baby doesn't like mornings." She kept vomiting after these words leaving her speechless husband to muse on the announcement.

"How long have you known?" he asked quietly

"Not long."

"Scarlett, answer me truthfully, did you know this before we left Atlanta?"

With a guilty look she nodded.

"Why on earth would you keep this away from me?" his tome was still quiet but his posture revealed he was upset.

"I was afraid you'd leave me behind and go on your own." She answered sheepishly.

He took her in his arms tenderly "Do you fear anything else?"

She shut her eyes and nodded "Let me loose, Rhett, I need to wash up after this."

"What do you fear, Scarlett?"

Noticing that he wasn't letting her go, she leaned to him and replied "Getting fat, being confined to home, you not allowing me to work with you, and mostly, having a screaming baby to take care of. I hate babies. It took me three years and Atlanta to fall to start caring for my Wade. And I won't have Melly as I had her with Wade or Mammy, and the poor baby…" she was whispering those words, embarrassed at her thoughts.

"I like babies. Maybe this time with me it won't be so bad. And you can work all you want. Before and after with me. We can take him or her with us anywhere, even the bank." He was stroking her back slowly. If he was disappointed at her reaction he did not show it.

"Her? Don't you want a son?" she sniffed

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, as long as they are healthy and so are you."

"Well, if anything, I want a son with your features."

His brow was lifted amusedly, "You won't hate him?"

"I knew I shouldn't have said it to you. You'll torment me on it, won't you?"

"If you care for the baby as you care for Wade and even Robert, there is no chance for that. Don't you realize you were a child when Wade was born? I admit, I was planning on waiting a little longer, but I suppose that in the night of my return I was less in control."

"Oh? I must say that I don't like it that you're always in control and I lose my head." She was now standing again and washing herself with the small basin. It was the rare that she'd refer to their love making openly.

"No need to worry about it now, is there?"

"What do you mean?"

"I can lose control all you want, it won't make a difference. You're already pregnant."

She blushed at the word and hissed him "Don't use that word, it's indecent."

He laughed a happy laugh and lift her off the floor to the bed. "If this is indecent wait till you see me lose control on purpose."


	24. Freedom vs Stance

"I never thought this is what losing control means" she muttered slowly as her fingers followed the path of the narrowing line of hair in his abdomen. He was still trying to gather his breath.

Ever since the news of her pregnancy broke he became more careless then she could ever imagine him in their love making. He'd take her passionately abandoning any and every reserve he's had. He'd encourage her to talk during their lovemaking and he'd talk scandalously to her describing her intimate parts as he felt them during the haze of their coupling.

The following days of their voyage they turned into a persistent routine. He'd take her half sleeping to the deck to pass her morning sickness in the early hours after dawn with the sea air, wrapped in covers and leaned to his chest as only crew members were to be seen on the deck in those hours. She'd doze off leaving him to read or talk to the crew members passing by. She was sleeping long hours during the day with first term fatigue and the sensations the sea air and sailing brought upon her.

After a light brunch near noon he'd make love to her in their chamber for hours, and again during the night, insisting they'd stay completely nude for sheer amusement during the entire time.

"I am more naked, these days, than dressed" she laughed one afternoon as she watched the sun set in the sea from their chamber and tried to find a piece of undergarment to put on. The only sign for her pregnancy was the heaviness in her breasts at the time.

"Don't bother dressing just yet" he said, "Come here, you are changing".

Embarrassed at his observation she tried to cover herself up but he took her hands in his "It's beautiful, Honey, don't look away. Your skin is shining, your hair is thicker if that is possible and your breasts -" his voice became thick and strain "words won't do them justice. You are more alluring than the nymph I took at the field in Tara some months ago."

His hands were holding as if weighing both her breast, and despite the strange position she marveled at his admiration "Rhett, you are so indecent that words won't do you justice."

"You wound me, darling. But I suppose none of those peahens you associated during the war would enjoy such words, whereas you do."

He became serious a few minutes later – "Darling, have you taken time to think of the impact of our social standing, or lack of, on our child. Wade is received on account of his deceased father and aunt, whereas my offspring will undoubtedly be…"

"Admired and loved by us." She insisted with an iron tone.

"Darling, I think we might want to consider otherwise." He was quiet at his talk "Children can be so cruel if one does not fit in. You wouldn't want your child to endure what I had to."

She was thinking of his words and with a dark feeling she turned to him –

"Your parents had a social standing and I bet you tried to fit in, just as I have. Wasn't it stronger than you?"

His eyes became hard – "It's a child we are speaking of, not my selfish-self or you for that matter."

"What exactly do you mean, Rhett? That when we return I should start dancing at Mrs. Meriwether's flute? Stop socializing with 'simple' people or stop going to the bank with you? If that is your intention, I fear this will be a one time I shall not be able to _obey_ you – even IF I try, not that I think there would be any use in wasting my energy on that."

After some silence she tried a pleading, softer tone -

"Rhett, you gave it a real hard struggle to make me accept your views regarding the irrelevance of a reputation. I followed YOU. Don't you dare get cold feet on me now. I, no WE, shall raise free children, free to choose their lives, ways and friends. We will just have to be strong and happy enough for them so as to make them happy."

***Milady***

She found London and Liverpool dreary and smelly.

True to his word, Rhett involved her in each and every meeting he'd have on his business matter. One morning he asked her to take his place in a meeting regarding insurance issues of the new fleet he was building.

"Are you sure?"

"Sure I'm sure. I wouldn't ask if I didn't think you could handle it."

"I just don't feel that these people would listen to me."

He looked at her from his tall stance half smiling "Scared? I can't and won't believe it."

"I'm not scared, I'm realistic" she sighed at him.

"Darling, nobody gives you room in businesses. You take your stand or you have none."

By the end of the week she was handling the entire part of that business on her own. One morning with a specific harsh nausea she was deferring the opinion of a banker named Jonathan Varney with amazingly huge grey whiskers that reminded her of Dr. Mead's appearance. That accompanied with her poor state was more than enough to put her on the aggravated scale of the matters.

The argument became rather heated when the gentleman waved at her dismissingly with his hand saying "We shall wait for Captain Butler, Madam, for I fear we are at an impasse."

"I assure you that Captain Butler gave me full credence to decide on _our_ behalf" she insisted, attempting to keep her ire under control.

"Nevertheless indulge my hesitance in waiting for his presence in the afternoon to clarify our differences."

It took most of her will power not to stomp her foot (or step on his foot) and to gracefully conclude –

"In that case, sir, only due to lack of time to assure your hesitance I am afraid we shall not be needing your good services. I am sure there are several banks that would be more than happy to grant us the specifications I have reasonably required, hence, in a nation governed by a queen they would most likely be of a more honorable attitude to a lady of business."

The man became pale, but she did not bother to look at him as she started to take her leave –

"Wait, Mrs. Butler, let us not be hasty in our inferences. I assure you I meant no disrespect, but merely wanted you husb… Captain Butler's opinion as a mediator. However, if time is of such essence, well, I'm sure we will be able to come to terms."

She turned to him thinking that if he does not decide rather quickly she just might vomit to his face on his shining boots – "Well? What is your final conclusion, sir?"

Swallowing hard he gave her a proposition she accepted and not too soon she was at the ladies room clearing her stomach from its' content.

"How on earth did you get that pompous Varney to take this outrageous offer?!" her husband laughed during the afternoon as he went through the papers, "was he drunk, or smitten by your beauty?"

She leaned backwards – "Wouldn't you like to know?!"

"Oh?" his right brow went up amusedly "Is there a story?"

"I was in a bit of a haste to finish our meeting, so he concurred to most of my requirements. If he hadn't been such a patronizing conceited ass, I wouldn't have been so hard on him, as it was." She shrugged dismissively.

"Ass? My Mrs. Butler, you are learning to swear. Is that yet another one of the many traits I bestowed upon you?

"Don't flatter yourself. Pa could swear much better than you."

He was feeling that something was still missing - "Why were you at Haste?"

"I was feeling the nausea getting the best of me and he annoyed me."

He roared laughing – "I should send you real early to meetings so you benefit us some profit out of that temper you get when you feel like that."

"You are a skunk!" she laughed.

Despite the pregnancy they were happy, happier than each imagined life could be. The daily partnership created a new level of intimacy that granted both a sense of companionship.

One afternoon on the ship back to America, as Scarlett was looking at her husband asking him of his thought he managed to articulate the sensation that was built between them during those weeks –

"I look at the horizon, and for the first time I don't feel or seek the loneliness I used to seek in these waters. All my life, as a boy and a man, I loved the sea. It's dangerous and you are truly alone, with only the sound of the waves and your soul. Especially when you are captain and your crew members are ignorant rough souls, as they usually are. I feel the life these waters consist, and I feel you, with me. I never intended to have you so under my skin and in my soul."

She smiled –

"During the war I waited for you to tell me you loved me so I could punish you for all your wrongdoings and horrible barbs." She laughed.

"You can still do it" he smiled.

"Could I? You are the only person in the whole world who likes me for what I am. Who encourages me to be what I want to be. Father was like that, but only him, and now you. Well, perhaps Melly as well, in a way. I don't want to pull an act of repentance when we return with the old guard. It would mean that I should have listened to that old witch Meriwether when she tried to dissuade me from marrying you. I won't ever apologize for you or for what I did with you."

"Are you willing to suffer the consequences?"

"Haven't I been willing at Rough and Ready and ever since? I threw away all my upbringing as I gave myself to you. I will not apologize, Rhett. If any, she should apologize to me for being such a meddling brute!"

"You are so young, darling."

Her smile was devilish.

"Why the smile, Scarlett?"

"I was just contemplating and it came to me that my age means that _she_ will die way before me, or you, for that matter"

At that answer he couldn't hold his laughter anymore – "So when our children complain regarding the social stance we shall simply ask them to wait patiently for the grand lady to hit the bucket?"

"They will never complain. They will look up to you and admire you just as I do." She answered, now serious.

"You admire me?"

She raised her eyes at him – "More than you'll ever be able to know. If our children have a glimpse of you they shall want nothing more than the freedom you grant them, as you have granted me. Freedom of heart, mind and soul. A freedom you had never been given by your father. Don't you see that?"

He held her a long time unable to articulate his sentiments to words. She felt his chest tighten with emotion, and trying to ease him a bit she added –

"If, however, you charm your way back to society, as you have with Maybelle's wedding dress and your bonbons during the war, I shall not stand in your way, as long as you do not expect me to share the façade with you."

"And to think that I gave you much more credit for being a capable hypocrite! Alas! Could I tempt you perhaps with a nice bonnet or a gaudy ring?"

"Only with huge diamonds!" her eyes sparkled at the thought, and as he saw it he laughed heartedly –

"The biggest you can find, that you'll have, with or without the façade. Give you have bestowed your favors on me as you have " she bit him with her fist indignantly as a lady passed them by at that moment and he continued, not the least bit bothered by her reaction "that is your admiration and adoration as you say, it's the least I could repay you with."

"A huge diamond Rhett! I mean it." And they laughed as the infinite ocean smiled with them.

***Milady***

 **The part when Scarlett gives an ultimatum due to first term nausea is taken from an episode in my own life some 10 years ago… As for the themes - I always hated how Rhett blackened and trashed Scarlett's reputation. Nevertheless, I always gave him credit for being a true feminist in a changing world. In my idealist world I like them to be working together, and for her to make him feel less alone, more admired and loved. I suppose that this is why GWTW was such a perfect book – the wounds it left just needed this healing. I suppose that idealism and stories just don't make and interesting material. R &R. Melanie shall be reappearing next chapter.**


	25. A conversation

**It took so long to get to it. Hope I'm not boring anyone…**

"Careen, dearest, could you see to it that this note reaches Rhett's brother?"

The two siblings parted with a long hug. They were there for two nights.

 _Mr. Butler,_

 _Rhett and I shall be staying in the Grand Hotel until after tomorrow. We will both be delighted if you join us to tea at five p.m. You shall find us at the lounge._

 _Sincerely,_

 _Katie Scarlet Butler_

The man was gazing on the little piece of paper for the hundredth time. It was half past four but he could still get there, the hotel being only a few blocks from his whereabouts at the moment. It surprised him. He did not expect to hear from her again. With a light step so unfamiliar to his usual demeanor he started marching up the street.

At the entrance of the Grand Hotel he noticed the young woman with her companion laughing amiably with their backs to the door. He hesitated for a second, contemplating whether to flee or approach, but as if she felt his stare she slowly turned to the door. Realization and surprise was evident in her face. She paled.

It sunk.

The note was directed to his son, not to him.

Both exchanging looks from afar and her sudden distraction drew Rhett's attention to the aging man at the door.

He blinked, stood and approached his arms hanging at the sides of his body.

They were almost of the same hight with a dark skin -

"Son" the tone was not affectionate but the sadness in his eyes gave her a pause. She gathered herself straightening her forehead which seemed to stay wrinkled through that awkward moment. She thought of Melly and decided to follow the same manner she'd treat an uncalled stranger in the door foot of Tara-

"Mr. Butler, how kind and thoughtful it is of you to call on us. I am delighted you came."

"Mrs. Butler" he was aiming to kiss her hand politely but she gave his cheek a soft kiss, like the ones she'd give Uncle Henry and her father's brothers, and with little effort gathered her husband's waist with a hug that was mainly meant to draw him away from his father and sit him beside her.

Both men's eyes lit with amusement -

"Is your wife always this fearless? I can't imagine your sister, even your mother approaching you or me this way."

Rhett chuckled "If she were any less brave she wouldn't be married to a scoundrel like me, would she?"

The words that were meant as jest clouded the elder man's face, before any could rectify the situation he said

"She takes you for a gentleman, son. You surely know that."

She interfered, though her face crimson "Mr. Butler, you shouldn't flatter your son, or we'll never hear the end of it. Rhett is as noble as my father is. A strong truthful generous man with a passion for life. Gentle? I'm not sure. Yet, I'm no gentle lady either."

Both man looked at her with a smile -

"Are my ears hearing you correctly?" mocked Rhett.

"Oh, hush Rhett! Don't you dare try to embarrass me" she gave him a small tug with her elbow

"My son never took for gentle ladies, child, I now realize that it took him twenty years and a many travels to find his equal match. But you surely are jesting."

She looked at him contemplating whether to grasp the opportunity and sugar-coat reality. Truthfully she smiled a resigned smile -

"No sir. My mother was gentle, and if you came across my sister Careen she too. But I can't profess to be gentle. It's not in my nature."

"You should see the way she does business, you'd believe her" laughed Rhett "We're back from London and she managed most of the insurance issues of our fleet for us. A harder bargainer I have never seen."

"She's been helping you?"

"No Father, she's been working with me. And she's good at it."

The man stiffened - "Do you mean to tell me that you allow your wife to work like some common white-trash in a masculine job?"

Rhett drew back but before he could speak he heard his wife's coolest tone retort -

"If I were less vain, I'd say yes and blame it on my Irish side, as it is I'll say that I work by my husband's side, with his guidance at first to independence now, and I will not apologize for enjoying it more than a silly sewing circle that stitches ugly clothes and punishes the orphans with yet another blow by making them actually wear the ugly clothes _our woman_ sew. You surely see no harm in my doing something that makes my brain actually come to use, don't you?"

Straightening his gaze to his son and ignoring her he spat "So she wears the pants?"

She stood - "No one will ever have doubts as to who wears the trousers in our household, that much credit you should give your son. Your son is man enough not to fear, but to take pride in my abilities. To encourage me to pursue whatever brings me interest and pleasure. How dare you judge him for that?"

Rhett's father's eyes narrowed "I heard you were strong-headed"

"From my aunts, I suppose." She laughed with a trace of bitterness "Well, it's a shame to waste an afternoon on us when you have this much information you can feed them to confirm their assessment of my father's lack of, what was it? Ah! Gentleness, was it not?"

She turned to Rhett "Forgive me my love for spoiling our afternoon here, I meant to invite your brother, apparently I should have been more specific with the Mr. Butler I sent the letter to."

Rhett's brow rose half amused at her ire than he noticed her distress -

"Scarlet, go to our quarters. You needn't vex yourself in your condition."

She blushed but she remained silent - "Go ahead, I shall be with you shorty".

As she left Rhett turned to his father -

"You haven't changed one bit, have you? Always a gentleman, always a primitive fool. Yes, I say primitive because in the Old Land women are ruling the land, walking proudly while managing businesses, even science research in France - but for you a wife should always be silent and helpless? If Scarlett had been that type of woman I wouldn't have given her the time of day, let alone marry her."

"You forgot our ways, son."

"No, I never forget, I chose a new path that you do not respect or appreciate. I have done many things I am not proud of since we last saw each other, years ago, but encouraging my wife to be happy is not one of them."

Before leaving he turned his head to the man who sired him "Think Father, is Rosemary happy? And if she is miserable, is that her fate? She's as smart as me and Robert, perhaps more, but with these ways you cling to, we'll never know, and she'll have to suffice with the shell of a life society condemns her for.

"Don't you dear bring your sister to it."

"Should I go for Mama? I didn't think so."

When he reached the room he found her in the midst of undressing preparing to rest. He took her from behind and stopped her nervous movement -

"Don't. I gave up twenty years ago when he disowned me. I dare say I was happy to see him, but it doesn't matter. He shall never love me for what or who I am, and one of the things that I am is a man who is proud of his wife for being a fine business-lady. Scarlett - Belle said it to me the night I returned, and I agree with her every word - you are a hell of a lady." a smile crept to his tone "and as long as you know that I wear the trousers -"

"Oh!" she cried at his tease, but then she turned and smiled -

"I believe I forgot. Won't you please remind me?"


	26. Chapter 26

**Such a long absence. Can't promise anything. But I have something to accomplish in this one, so here we go again.**

 **Canon belongs to MM and her estate. This is a FF…**

"Mrs. Butler, a Mr. Butler is down in the lobby requesting your company."

She was sitting in the veranda enjoying a quiet morning after her husband had left to tend to last minute arrangement before they headed back to Georgia on the evening train.

She contemplated if to avoid it, thinking it was once again Rhett's father, but her conscience plagued her and she was soon walking slowly down the stairs to the reception area of the hotel. She smiled when she saw it was Robert, Rhett's brother, thinking of a younger Robert she had waiting with her son for their return back home.

"Mr. Butler, how kind of you to come and call on us. I'm afraid your brother is out on errands."

He seemed uncomfortable for a moment - a posture so unfamiliar to her with his elder brother. The striking semblance could fool me, she thought. He was probably more like her county beaus. Gentle. Attached to rules and norms her husband had long abandoned.

"It may seem presumptuous of me, but I was hoping to meet you."

He seemed at unease and she took pity on him.

"Come, I'll ask for some refreshments and we can talk. Rhett is due in an hour or so."

He looked at her gratefully - "I gather you have met our father."

"For a second time."

"He was rather upset and has been talking badly of you to your aunts. I thought you might want to meet with them."

She smiled at him kindly "May I be frank with you, Robert? I suppose I will shock you a bit, for you seem so kind and gentle, like most of my childhood friends. I was never seen highly by my aunts, and your father is doing no harm. He is simply verifying their suspicions as to the bad effect my Irish father had on my upbringing. Hence, I don't care what your father says about me or my husband. I pity him. He has a wonderful son and he'll never know."

"That is the other reason I came to see you. From the bits father told me I gathered you spoke highly of Rhett. You see, I hadn't talked to him in years."

"I don't understand. What are you asking?"

The man blushed - "I realized that there is so much I'd never know about him, though I wish I could. Would you tell me of my brother? I know you can't right now, but would you agree to correspond with me. I am your brother by matrimony and it wouldn't be improper. I swear, you needn't tell me of his businesses, only of him."

She was moved. None of her sisters ever took interest in her this way. Than again she was never away. She was loved by their parents. She was not banished with nothing but the shirt on her back to the cruel world.

"I will. I'll write you, and you will write to me in return of you. Of your life. I wish to get to know you. But you must wait and allow Rhett to see you, otherwise I will be at loss if he asks of our correspondence."

When Rhett arrived she could see his shoulders stiffen as he recognized her company, but she smiled a happy smile at him and rushed to him grabbing both his hands -

"Darling, Robert heard of our happy news and has offered to replace any position you would have wanted your father to have regarding our child."

Both men were rather amazed from her news. Rhett did not notice his brother's surprise at her announcement but his sibling soon recovered and straightened his gaze to his elder brother - "I can't make up for lost years. I can however try to conduct my present differently. I always felt like a coward for not going with you."

"Father might give you hell for this."

The other man all of a sudden seemed relieved - "I won't die, Rhett. Besides, he won't disown me for caring for his future grandchildren. He was fussing about the prospects that your young Butlers will never have a foot in gentle society".

He touched a nerve. Those were stormy waters for her as well. Her husband was craving for acceptance by what his father called "Gentle Society". She took hold over her emotions and covered her anxiety with a smile "How very considerate of him to worry. Tell him not to trouble himself. He hasn't for two decades, has he?" trying to end the discussion with those words she added "Will you come to visit soon?"

But Robert and Rhett did not follow her second question "It doesn't matter what he's done to me, Scarlett, my children are a different matter."

She stood, suddenly feeling tired, she was contemplating whether she should try to return to the good graces of the dragons in Atlanta ever since the boat - "You will excuse me, gentlemen, won't you? I feel rather tired and we still have a long journey ahead of us today."

"You won't visit your aunts?" asked Robert.

"No. I visited uncle Patrik, on my father's side yesterday morning. He was in town for a few days. He lives in Savannah. He remembered the way my 'lovely' aunts treated both my father and me and my siblings when we were little, as if we were simple peasants receiving their favours. He tried to talk me of Christian acceptance - but- Oh! They are even talking badly of Careen for marrying a 'poor pastor' who's not Catholic."

"Your sister is admired by the congregation of the most esteemed families in this city. I suppose they find it offensive as it isn't their church that she chose, at the end of the day. As have you."

"We both chose our husband's church for the holiest of sacraments" she answered quietly "If you meet my aunts tell them that."


End file.
